Yaruki
by Athena-megami
Summary: At the ripe old age of twentysix, Duo decides that it's time that he took matters into his own hands as far as the other Gundam boys and their love lives or lack there of are concerned. Hiro&Wufei, Quatre&Trowa...what's not to like?Updated Rarely
1. Two Weeks

Pairings: 1x5, 3x4, 2xYuu

Warnings: Yaoi, fluff, swearing, just plain ol' weirdness

Rating: PG-13

Notes: I wrote this fic many a year ago, and now I'm re-editing and re-writing it. I also plan to FINISH the sucker. So! Even if you've read it before, you should read it again. This is a chapter-by-chapter re-edit though, so hang in there. I should also warn those that this fic in general will probably be less "funny" because it will be more mature and have more of a plot.

Disclaimer: Now, since I am a poor widdle Chibi, you won't want to sue me. On top of that, I don't own Gundam Wing, nor do I claim that I do. So, you have no reason to. Yay. Me technically own this fic. No steal. If steal you be bad. Hate you forever. --

'Think'  
"Talk"  
time passes  
flash backs

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Wufei sat down on the tan couch. He ran his eyes over the room, looking at it with a slight nervous feel. 'Practically no escape exits at all...' he thought out of habit. He had removed his shoes at the door and let his feet brush the carpet lightly. The off-white less-than-fluffy covering wasn't entirely unpleasant, but it wasn't exactly up to his preferred caliber. 'What shit infested moron picked out the furniture?' Wufei sneered at the poorly chosen motley of chairs and sofas. 'And what whore arranged the room?' Wufei stood up and shook his head. If he was going to live here for two weeks he sure as sin wouldn't be living in this 'stupid shithole fit only for slaves and women.' Not that he was bitter or anything.

In all honesty, the room wasn't that bad. Yeah, the furniture was a little tacky and it wasn't arranged to the best utility, but come on! It was a hotel room, and a suite at that. But, even if the room had been perfect and lush, even if there had been servants ready to wait on him hand and foot, even if the hotel had been a mansion, Wufei would have still hated it with every fiber of his being. The reason, you may be asking yourself? After all, hell, you wouldn't mind a beautiful room in a mansion filled with servants ready to etc, etc, etc, right? Yeah, but if you're anything like Wufei, you would. If you hate being forced into something, then you would hate the room. And Wufei was being forced into something.

'If I wasn't actually fond of Duo in that strange way that prevents all of his friends from murdering him, Duo would be a very, very, very dead man.' Wufei thought to himself as he pushed one of the darker tan colored chairs to the side so that he could move the couch to another position.

"What are you doing Chang?"

'Shit monkey.' Wufei thought as he turned slowly to the owner of the voice. Hiro Yui stood nearly perfectly still as he watched Wufei with a questioning look in his usual dead eyes. Wufei straightened and put his hand out in a sweeping gesture. "I'm rearranging the furniture."

"I see that. Why?" Hiro asked, setting his small bad down on the floor. He didn't move, but it seemed as if he had offered to help.

"I didn't like how it was before. It was distasteful, and my honor requires me to change that which is an injustice to my status." Wufei turned back to his work. He turned his head slightly to throw over his shoulder, "If you'd just grab the other end to this couch, Yui..."

Though they were used to working together, it seemed strange to be in the hotel room rearranging the furniture together. The silence was not the usual comfortable one they were used to. If there was ever silence between them, it was because words were unnecessary, not because they couldn't find anything to say to each other. Hiro wasn't used to this strange feeling that their comradeship was being strained because of this new development. 'We were never meant to be more than friends. I do not understand Duo; I do not understand what it is he is trying to accomplish. This...this plan of his seems to have no purpose, it is like a mission with no end goal.' Hiro's muscles strained slightly as he held up the couch on his own while Wufei replaced the rug protectors under the couch legs.

"Chang," Hiro said abruptly, and Wufei glanced up. He made an affirmative grunt, and went to move the other chair to a more suitable position. "Chang," Hiro said again. This time, Wufei stopped and turned.

"Yes?"

"I want you to know that if this...this experiment or whatever Duo insists on calling it begins to intrude on our already shaky alliance, I will pull out immediately regardless of consequences." Hiro had chosen his words as carefully as possible, but at the mention of their so-called shaky alliance, Wufei had frowned. Hiro was bound by his agreement and friendship with Duo, but his first and foremost allegiance lay with The Preventers and he would not jeopardize Wufei and his partnership.

"'Shaky alliance?' What do you mean by that?" Wufei's eyes narrowed, and Hiro's eyes dimmed in response.

"I trust no one, and your trust is more of a less wary suspicion than trust. We aren't capable of more than a shaky alliance." Hiro said simply, and sat down in the newly arranged chair. Wufei stood standing for a moment, but he frowned at Hiro as if he wanted to say something.

'He thinks I don't trust him? Well, he's not exactly wrong, but he's not right either. I distrust him the least of everyone I know, and that should count for something. Perhaps that is trust though. I have nothing to compare it to, after all.' Wufei shrugged, stepped forward, and held out his hand. Hiro looked up at it from beneath his eyelashes and then tilted his head to one side slightly.

"Yes?" He asked. His voice was so incredibly neutral there was nothing more beyond that one syllable word except a question of an action.

"I say we trust each other then. I will place my trust in you, and you will put your in me. A true alliance, if you will." Wufei stared down his aristocratic nose at Hiro and his hand was held at a strangely arrogant angle. Hiro moved only his eyes to look at Wufei, but nodded his head once. He placed his hand into Wufei's and shook only once before letting go. Suddenly brisk, Wufei moved backwards to the other chair. He looked around at their work, and nodded.

"Much better, much easier to be in." Wufei commented, near to himself. Hiro's hand moved briefly in an answering gesture, but he said nothing.

"How long have you been here?" Hiro asked suddenly, and Wufei looked at his watch out of habit before he thought about it. 'I acted as if I had been ordered. Perhaps we have been working together too much lately.' Wufei thought, but kept his face clear of his thoughts.

"I arrived only 10 or so minutes before you."

"I see." There was a silence, and Wufei felt the need to say something.

"So...what do you want to do now, Yui?" Wufei asked Hiro keeping his eyes on the ground. 'This is unnaturally awkward...' Wufei thought. He could practically feel the tension in the air; the hairs on his tanned arms were sticking straight up. He wanted to tap his fingers on the arm of the chair, but resisted. He had long cured himself of the habit after one day while he was tapping out a rhythm, Hiro had reached out a slender hand and put it on top of Wufei's with the request that he stop. Wufei had been so bothered by it that he had never tapped his fingers again in Hiro's presence, but the nervous energy filled the room and he felt the old habit tugging at his fingertips.

" I do not care. Whatever you decide is fine." Hiro said evenly. He looked straight ahead blankly. 'This is not going to go well. Duo will die.' Hiro thought, not even changing his tone in his mind. The lack of inflection only strengthened the power of his words, though they never left his lips. He had to see this thing through, but he could feel that he would hate it.

"Ahem, well how about a movie?" Wufei asked politely as he toyed with the idea that if he couldn't kill Duo, perhaps he could just torture him. He wouldn't want to do any real permanent damage, but he'd have to make sure that Duo felt the pain Wufei was experiencing now. Wufei could not stand movies, let alone the people in the theater, but he could think of nothing else. What were they supposed to do in the free time they were allotted?

" I hate movies, and I thought you did as well. But, if that's what you want to do, then let us do it." Hiro said, his expression stoic and cold. He made a movement to rise, but Wufei waved him back.

" No, don't get up. You're right—I do hate movies. I was merely trying my hand at...at..." Wufei faltered. 'Damn this to all seven hells...that son-of-a-bitch Duo is going to pay for this dearly!' Wufei put his hands between his knees and stared at the ground with a scowl. He looked up, a small smirk on his face. "I'm reminded suddenly that I hate the color tan."

"It's a disgusting color." Hiro said, a scowl on his own face as he retook in his surroundings. "I'd prefer...green and black, quite honestly." He gave Wufei a quick smirk before re-schooling his features. Wufei gave him a smile, and leaned back into his chair. He twirled his hand in the air, and grinned.

"Or perhaps white, with small touches of navy blue?" Wufei asked, and Hiro gave a small grunt.

"Changing the décor still wouldn't solve our problem of having nothing to do." Hiro pointed out, his voice frigid but polite. Wufei's brows snapped down. Hiro could be so single minded sometimes, and it was damn near impossible to effectively sidetrack him for any real amount of time. Wufei sat up again and leaned forward. He cocked his head to his right, a habit he'd adopted from Yuu'utsu.

"Well, I don't know what to do Yui. And I don't see why I'm the only one who has to come up with something here." Wufei lowered his voice, and his eyelids. Hiro shut his eyes and leaned back into his own chair. He cracked his eyes open the barest bit and stole a glance at his target—Wufei. 'He looks strained, and it's obvious he's going to become angry soon.' Hiro sighed slightly to himself. 'Damn it Hiro, can't you at least ACT human for one day?' Hiro thought to himself. 'We're adults. Two, mature, 27 year-old adults who have been working together since we were 16. There must be something we can do.'

" Look, Chang. I apologize, I don't mean to be so..."

"Cold?" Wufei suggested and regretted it nearly before he finished the word. Hiro's eyes narrowed slightly, and became more closed.

"Yes," Hiro said simply. "We'll find something that we can do together to pass the time. If nothing else, we can always practice sparring. I suspect both of us need a good workout."

"Speak for yourself." Wufei placed himself gently over the arm of the chair, and leaned his head into his hand. "I see you've put on a few pounds lately, and it's certainly not muscle." Wufei joked. In all truth, Wufei was lying. 'If anything I think he's been working out extra time. He may actually be becoming more in shape than I, which is a strange thought.' Hiro fixed one of his darker stares on Wufei and blinked slowly, indicating that he knew that Wufei was lying. Wufei smirked and shrugged in response. Their body language code was one that had been culled over long years of working together off and on.

"What time is it?" Hiro asked, and again Wufei looked at his watch before he had consciously made a decision to look. 'It's strange how I seem to have gotten used to obeying his voice. I won't tell him so though; I'm not stupid, and not about to give away that he may just have the power to ordering me around.' Wufei scowled to himself. 'It's those damn unfaltering gray-blue eyes of his. They just bore into you like two round drills that are in the hands of a very precise madman.' Wufei frowned at his metaphor.

"See something you don't like?" Hiro asked softly, and Wufei shook himself out of his brief reverie.

"It's 5:20." Wufei said, ignoring Hiro's question.

"And that's a bad thing?" Hiro asked, rolling his shoulders back.

"What? No, no I was only thinking."

"I see." Hiro said, and asked nothing more. That was something that Wufei appreciated about Hiro, Hiro never asked pointless questions. If the answer would have no actual value or importance, Hiro didn't ask the question.

" Why did you want to know the time?" Wufei asked, scratching his head in slow circles to help relieve tension. Hiro and Wufei may be talking more fluidly, but the reason why they were there at all loomed over them in such a way that the conversation was tainted from the beginning.

"I wondered if it was too early to eat, and it is. That would give us something to do, would it not?" Hiro flicked a small piece of dust off the chair's arm, and Wufei readjusted his feet.

"True. Unless..."

"Yes?"

"Well, I was just going to say that if we made the food, then it would take longer and the food would be ready about the right time to eat." Wufei gave a one-shouldered shrug. He looked across the table at Hiro. "What do you say? Up to cooking?"

"Cooking?" Hiro gave a wry little smile, and shook his head. "Trust me Chang, you don't want me in that kitchen."

"That couldn't be farther from the truth Yui." Wufei stood up in a graceful curving arch of his body. "I hate cooking alone, and since I haven't had a true home cooked meal in so long, I want to make something especially good. And all good thing are elaborate, and I'll need help."

"Then you don't want me in the kitchen Chang." Hiro shook his head, and stayed seated. "Let's just say I don't cook well. The only thing that I do safely is boil water." Hiro admitted.

"That's still better than Duo." Wufei responded, clapping a hand on Hiro's shoulder. Hiro gave his rolling shrug and stood as well. Over the years it had become apparent that Wufei ruled over Hiro in height by about three inches, and Hiro still slightly resented being shorter than the other Asian man. Out of the original five Gundam pilots, only Quatre was still shorter than Hiro.

"Is that so?" Hiro moved forward and Wufei dropped his arm. "If you insist."

Hiro felt strange wandering down the aisle looking for soy sauce with the plastic basket, but Wufei had gone off to get the meat he wanted. Hiro scanned both sides of the aisle, looking for the brand that Wufei had mentioned. Hiro was supposed to go and get the oil for the wok as well, but one thing at a time. Hiro sighed. He knew that in order to cook, one needed ingredients, but he hadn't really felt like going out tonight. He was in one of his moods when he felt like either blowing up the entire world or self-destructing. He didn't feel this way often, not anymore. But sometimes he just hated the world. He wanted everyone to simply disappear. Hiro frowned. 'Well, maybe not everyone; Chang could stay. I don't mind him so much. I mind Duo, but he could stay too. And Trowa and Quatre...I hardly see them at all anymore, so they could stay too. Everyone else could just...disappear. Especially _her_.' Hiro grimaced at the thought. He heard the step behind him and had to restrain himself from automatically lashing out.

"Yui, I got the meat and the oil, did you get the sauce?" Wufei's soft voice was like fur over Hiro's raw nerves. It was a voice he was so used to, in dreams that had Wufei in them Hiro could hear Wufei's voice clearly. He'd woken up more than once expecting Wufei to be in his room. Hiro reached out his arm and plucked the bottle off the shelf. He was tempted with the idea of throwing it at Wufei, just to see if he would catch it, but resisted. If Wufei didn't catch it, the glass bottle would cause a mess. A mess meant attention, and attention meant people, and Hiro was hoping to avoid people for the next 24 hours or so.

"Yes."

In the kitchen, Wufei and Hiro were slowly preparing the meal. All Hiro knew about it was that it contained crabs, eel, and something about chicken. Wufei promised that it would taste good. Hiro would have preferred more actual fish, but he wasn't going to complain. He'd once had a lunch made by Wufei, and had made the mistake that everyone who had been at the picnic remembered but would never mention.

FLASH BACK

"Hey Yui, you made it." Sally Po waved Hiro over to their table, and Hiro sat down with the liquid grace that he'd gained after he'd hit 20. Hiro breathed in the recycled air and missed Earth for its clean and fresh atmosphere. At 23 Hiro was living on Earth at the main Preventer base. Duo had just left to marry Yuu'utsu, the young enigmatic female that had come into their lives 5 years ago. Apparently, Wufei would be moving in with him after Wufei returned from his current mission.

"Oh, hey, Wufei came back early. He's actually supposed to be here soon." Fenti Bellreet said, with her peculiar accent. Hiro nodded. "He sent some stuff ahead. You should try some." Hiro nodded again, not thinking too much on what Fenti had said. Fenti often made simple grammatical and syntactical errors. Hiro then saw a beautifully crafted dish at the end of the table. His mouth watered just looking at it, and he moved quickly to get some. It was so wonderfully done, Hiro almost hesitated in grabbing some, but food was meant to be eaten.

"This is incredible." Hiro remarked, and eyed the rest of the dish with an unusually eager eye. He turned to Sally Po, "I love with a burning, fiery passion whoever made this." Sally's eyes widened, and a voice spoke up with a wry twist.

"I'm glad you liked it, Yui." Hiro would have blanched if he was a normal person, but, alas, he is Hiro Yui. Wufei stood there, with his head thrown back slightly and a smirk twisting his mouth. "Your appreciation is well expressed, if not strange. So, thank you for your...enthusiastic response." Amusement was clear in his eyes, and though it seemed like soon the entire group would burst into laughter, all mirth was held in as Hiro coolly walked up to Wufei.

"You're welcome." Hiro's voice left no room for comment, and Wufei nodded slowly once, acknowledging Hiro.

FLASH FORWARD

'Hopefully this will live up to that other concoction. If Chang was a woman with a different personality, I would have married him long ago, as strange of a thought as that is.' Hiro stirred the boiling oil gently, hoping that it wouldn't spill again. Wufei was keeping one eye on what he was doing and one eye on Hiro. Hiro had warned him, but was still doing his best to keep disaster at bay.

These two weeks, and their agreement with Duo...you don't know about it? I've referred to it a few times now...ah, I see you're confused. You weren't there, and you must have just walked in. Well, then, let me explain. You see, dear reader, there was this duck...in fact, there were five...

FLASH BACK

"LOOK!" Duo yelled out, pointing at five baby ducks sitting by a pond. (See? I told you it started with ducks...) "How cute! I want them! Yuu, do you think we can just take them?" Duo asked eagerly. Yuu rolled her eyes.

" Duo, we can't take random creatures off the street." Yuu said flatly. Duo gave her his best puppy eyes. Yuu sighed and rolled her own eyes. "Don't pout, Duo, it's unattractive in a grown man." Duo sighed.

"Yuu! PWEASE! I want those ducks! They need a home!" Duo pulled at Yuu's sleeve. For the outing, Yuu had decided to wear her black T-shirt, the one with safety pins on the hems, along with her typical baggy pants that cinched at the waist and the ankles. She had left most of her belts at their home, only bringing the one with the extensive lock picks, fourteen knives (not counting the other twelve that were attached to various places on her body), two guns, one bomb, two decoding devices, and three tranquilizers. After all, it was just a picnic, no need to go overboard.

"Duo, we already have two dogs, seven cats, and an iguana. We don't need five baby ducks." Yuu said pointedly.

"But they could DIE without us!" Duo protested, grabbing Yuu's hands imploringly, but Yuu shook her head, her short hair swaying softly. Duo let go of Yuu's hands and backed away. He crossed his arms over his white T-shirt, and set his hips at a defiant angle. Now, it was not even a question as to whether or not they would have those ducks. It was a definite "yes." Yuu knew she shouldn't have let Duo wear those cargo shorts. It seemed like every time he wore them they ended up with another animal; it had become some sort of ritual with Duo. In fact, Yuu knew what the next words out of his mouth would be...

"Yuu-utsu! You either let me have those ducks, or no sex for a week!" Duo flipped his braid over his shoulder. It was always the same threat. The only reason that he always put it at a week was because even he knew that he would cave if it went for much longer.

" All right, Duo. All right. We can have the ducks." Yuu conceded. Not because she was that scared of no sex for a week, but because she knew that Duo is scary after no sex for a week. Once, the first time he had threatened her like that, she had let him. By the end of the week, Duo was practically half-crazy. Never again would Yuu let him do that. It was just too damn scary.

"Hey, Yuu?" Duo asked that night, after the evening "activities" were done. Yuu rolled over.

"Duo, I'm trying to sleep. Don't make me slap you boy."

"Yuuuuuuuuu..." Duo whined. Yuu slapped him upside the head.

" Sleeping Yuu does not like to be woken up." Yuu said and rolled over. Duo recovered from the slap, and rolled over until he was practically molded onto Yuu's back. He put his arms around her, and whispered in her ear.

" Yuu…please listen to me? I've got a great idea...I loooove you." Duo kissed Yuu's cheek, and Yuu sighed wearily. It was impossible to deter Duo for too long.

" What?" Yuu asked refusing to turn over, so in turn, Duo refused to let go.

" Well, I was thinking, you know how I always threaten you with no sex right?" Yuu raised an eyebrow. What the hell was Duo getting at?

" Yeeeah."

" Well, do you think any of the other guys are getting any at all?" Yuu sat bolt upright, carrying the attached Duo with her. "WHOA!" Duo said, but held on tight.

" WHAT?" Yuu asked, looking at Attached-Duo like he was some sort of crazy mad dog who just suddenly jumped onto a ball and began jump roping on the ball, while saying the English alphabet backwards.

"You know what I mean. Hiro, Trowa, Quatre, Wufei...do you think they're getting enough sex? I mean, the e-mails that they send back are always so boring even Quatre's. So...I was wondering if they were getting enough action." Duo said innocently, resembling a starfish in his determination to stay attached to Yuu's body.

"Duo...you are such a freak." Yuu said incredulously.

"Yeah, and?" Duo grinned.

"Gah. You weirdo." Yuu yanked on Duo's braid affectionately. Attached-Duo grinned.

"Well, look, what I was thinking was: what about I pair them up?"

"What." Yuu stated.

"I mean, make them all go out for a week or two. It would be easy. Hiro and Wufei, Quatre and Trowa. They'll get along great. Trowa and Quatre will stick to it cause you know they're interested in each other; they're both just too shy to admit it and stuff. And Hiro and Wufei will stick to it cause of that whole honor, justice, and stuff. It'll be perfect!" Yuu groaned...somehow, she got a feeling that at least two of the aforementioned boys would not agree.

Amazingly, (or perhaps not so amazingly) Duo managed to snag all four ex-Gundam pilots into his plan. He had set everything up carefully. He bought one hotel room for each "couple," and a two-week package of certain things they might need. Yuu had allowed Duo to use the money she had hacked during the war, and ahem, after it. Luckily, Duo had convinced Yuu to be the one to show the "couples" their rooms, because the rooms were honeymoon suites, with ONE king sized bed, and ONE bathroom. Duo had bribed the each of the hotels with extra money so that no cots could be brought up, and no extra rooms could be purchased. Part of the agreement was that they wouldn't try to bribe the hotel staff, but Duo wanted to be extra sure.

" Duo...are you sure about this?" Yuu asked that night.

" No. Even now I'm still debating on whether or not I should have set it up for THREE weeks..." Duo said, frowning in thought. Yuu slapped him.

" DUO!"

"YUU!" Duo mocked Yuu's tone precisely. Then, he became Attached-Duo again and latched onto Yuu.

"Duo..."

"Yeah Yuu, yeah I'm sure about this. It'll be good for them. 'Specially for 'Fei and Hiro, they both need to lighten up and learn to have some fun. So, yeah, I'm sure this is for the best." Duo finished, and like that damn starfish Milly had to dissect in CP Bio, he curled around Yuu, clamping onto to her skin firmly, and used her as a human pillow for the night. Yuu rolled her eyes to the sky, and settled down for sleep.

"That...was so good..." Hiro said, sitting back. Hiro felt pleasant and satisfied all at the same time. 'That was better than sex. Not that that's saying much,' Hiro thought to himself. 'It's not like I've had the most wonderful sex life. Three girls total, and one was a total disaster sexually.'

"I'm glad you enjoyed it." Wufei said, inclining his head. 'That had been one hell of a cooking experience. Yui was right...the only thing he can safely do is boil water…' Wufei thought, remembering the seven times that he had to save the kitchen from exploding, burning to the ground, imploding (don't even ASK), etc. "And I have to say, you do make life...interesting when you help cook." Wufei gave a small smirk, and Hiro grunted in response.

"I warned you."

"I know." Wufei picked at his teeth with a toothpick. After a few minutes of silence, Wufei leaned forward onto his elbows. "What are you thinking about?" The question took Hiro by surprise, and he jolted out of his thoughts.

"What am I thinking about?"

"That's what I asked."

"Well..." Hiro said, vaguely startled by Wufei's unexpected question. Should he tell the truth? Hiro looked over at Wufei. Wufei looked back and arched an eyebrow. Ah, what the heck. Hiro gave his rolling shrug and lifted one corner of his mouth. "I was comparing this meal to sex." Wufei chocked on his own spit.

"Excuse me?" Wufei finally gasped out, staring at Hiro with wide, unbelieving eyes.

"I was comparing the meal to sex." Hiro repeated, secretly enjoying the fact that he had caught Wufei even more off guard than he had been caught. Wufei recovered and lifted one shoulder in a lopsided shrug.

"Not something I thought I'd ever hear you say, but whatever." Wufei repositioned himself. "So, how was this like sex?"

"I was just thinking that this was more satisfying than any sex I've ever had." Hiro said calmly and evenly. Wufei resisted the urge to pinch himself. Maybe he'd gotten drunk at dinner...

"Either this was really excellent, or your love life is unbelievably poor." Wufei finally decided, nodding.

"Probably both."

"Oh?" Wufei hoped he didn't sound too interested, but the idea that Hiro Yui had a sex life and it wasn't all that great was just too much.

"Yes." Unfortunately, that tone told Wufei that he'd heard all the confessing Hiro was going to do for that night.

"I see. I was thinking about something entirely different." Wufei smiled, and rose out of his chair with a small sigh of contentment.

"What?"

"I was thinking that perhaps these two weeks might not be as bad as I had thought." Wufei said, and wondering why it felt like his face was warming. Hiro lifted his eyes.

"Perhaps. What makes you think that?"

"Just the idea that this might help us become better partners. We don't talk much, and we certainly don't work together closely enough to earn the truly difficult missions that require two people, and this...vacation, if you will, might change that. I would like to have the sort of high profile missions that we had when we were younger. You?"

"Same." Hiro rose and stretched. "I was raised to follow missions, but over the years I've come to enjoy them. I want a real challenge though. Maybe you're right. Think that's what Duo was thinking?" Hiro asked, tilting his head a little. Wufei snorted.

"Not fucking likely, but we'll see when we get The List." Wufei said, and nodded at Hiro's grimace.

"Right, The List. I can't believe—"

"—you're doing this? I know. I can't believe I'm doing it either." Wufei moved to clear the dishes, but Hiro reached out a hand.

"Leave it. You cooked and cleaned up my messes, I'll do the dishes." Hiro said, and Wufei moved his hand away. Hiro let his hand drop from Wufei's warm, soft, muscled—ahem—arm and picked up a dish in one smooth motion.

"This is boring." Wufei stated suddenly, and Hiro raised his eyebrows.

"What is?"

"This." Wufei swept his hand towards Hiro and the dishes. "Watching you do the dishes."

"You don't have to."

"What else am I supposed to do?"

"I don't know." Hiro's flat voice suggested that he really had no idea what else Wufei could possibly do. Wufei racked his brain for some sort of activity...oh! Whenever his last girlfriend had done the dishes, she'd always insisted that he read to her. He'd hated it at the time, but now he was grateful for the idea.

"I have an idea, wait here." Wufei said and grabbed the first book in his small satchel. He'd brought a few plays and a few novels.

'Where does he expect me to go?' Hiro thought dryly as he dried off another plate. The hotel suite wasn't very well thought out. It had a kitchen with stove, refrigerator, and so on, but no dishwasher. 'I don't expect that goes over very well with the guests—having to do dishes on their honeymoon.'

"I'm back." Wufei announced.

"And?"

"And I'm going to read to you." Wufei said, and held up his hand before Hiro could protest. "Just, listen. All you have to do is listen. We're both entertained that way." Hiro shrugged and turned back to his dishes. "All right...chapter one. ' It is a sin to write this. It is a sin to think words no others think and to put them down upon a paper that no others are to see. It is base and evil. It is as if we were speaking alone to no ears but our own.' "

Hiro found that he had taken much longer than normal to wash the dishes, and he realized that is was because he had been captivated by Wufei's reading voice. 'Reading material.' Hiro corrected himself sternly. The material had been the interesting part. Right.

"So, do you like it?" Wufei asked, tossing the book lightly between his hands.

"What?" Hiro asked, coming back to himself. Wufei held up the book. "Oh, that. Yes, I do. It's...interesting. It was confusing at first, but...it became clear enough. Strange, though, I can't imagine the world ever becoming like that."

"Well, people thought it might a long time ago. Pre-space colony years, of course." Wufei shrugged quickly and threw the book onto the couch. "It's so short, we'll probably finish it at this rate in these two weeks if you keep washing dishes and I keep reading."

"I see." Hiro said carefully. Wufei's eyes flashed over to his.

"Do you want me to keep reading?" Wufei asked, raising his eyebrows slightly. Hiro met Wufei's eyes neutrally.

"I like the book. Yes."

"Alright then. That's settled." Wufei yawned. "It's late, isn't it?" He looked at his watch. "It's nearly 10:00 o'clock. Time flies, hm?" Hiro nodded.

"Chang, exactly how are we going to arrange the sleeping matters?" Hiro asked flatly, gesturing towards the bedroom. It was either they shared the bed, or someone was going to have to sleep in the living room, which wasn't made for sleeping.

" I was just thinking of that." Wufei said, and instantly regretted it. 'Yeah, that didn't sound perverted or anything Chang...' Luckily, Hiro didn't think that way, and didn't take it other than the way it was intended to be.

"I was as well. Look, Chang, don't think that I am suggesting that you and I should get personal or anything, but I really think it would be best to just share. There is no point in one of us being uncomfortable all night because Duo is up to his stupid pranks again." Hiro said calmly, and Wufei couldn't help but admire his maturity.

"I agree." Wufei said, and both he and Hiro walked into the bedroom. They noticed that two sets of pajamas were laid out for them. They were, to say the least, provocative. Wufei threw his down blushing. Hiro shrugged and began to take off the dark blue shirt he had been wearing.

" What are you doing?" Wufei nearly screamed.

" I am getting ready for bed." Hiro was, of course, totally calm.

"I can see that, but, don't you realize what these are?! This is an injustice to you, as well as to me!" Wufei was barely keeping a hand on his voice, he was near shouting. "Have you no modesty?"

"I do, you know that, but I don't wish to sleep in these clothes I don't know whether or not Duo has picked out similar clothes for daily wear and so I would rather wear these at night when the only person to see them is you, than have to wear something even worse tomorrow because I wore these clothes to bed." Hiro explained, unbuttoning his pants. 'Damn it...he's right. That would be the most logical. Why the hell didn't I think of that? Here I am, getting all worked up over nothing...when did Yui get so damn mature?' Wufei sighed and frowned deeply and stripped off the white long-sleeved shirt that he had worn that day. He yanked off his pants, and pulled the sheer black short shorts that were his pajama's on with such ferocity that even Hiro raised his head. Hiro was in transparent red short shorts instead of black, and both young men were shirtless. Without looking at Hiro, Wufei stalked over to the bed and climbed in. He pulled the covers over his head, and stayed on one side of the bed.

"Goodnight." Wufei said curtly, not wanting to be too rude. The evening had been fine until the pajamas made their entrance. 'Embarrassing underwear enter stage left.' Wufei thought to himself. Wufei rolled over, tossed the covers back over, and growled. He felt annoyingly exposed. "These aren't exactly comfortable are they?"

"No."

"I hate Duo's sense of style."

"Who wouldn't?" Hiro asked, and Wufei smirked.

"Someone with a very sick mind."

"Probably that, or a girl. They don't seem to understand below the belt very well, and wouldn't understand how truly uncomfortable these are." Hiro said and Wufei made a sound of agreement.

"Tell me about it." Wufei nodded his head at Hiro. "For real this time, goodnight Yui."

"Goodnight Chang." Hiro said, and Wufei stretched himself out, giving Hiro a prime seating for a show of sheer muscle and bronzed skin. Hiro felt his pulse quicken against his will. 'Chang is so...' Hiro began to think, but the thought was cut off cruelly. 'Hiro Yui...what the hell do you think you're doing? Go to sleep moron, before you self destruct just from embarrassment.' Hiro thought calmly as he too climbed into the bed, settling into the pillows serenely.

kudos to anyone who recognized the opening to Ayn Rand's "Anthem"

After notes:

This chapter wasn't really changed, though some parts were. Mostly, I added a lot. I kept the actual actions the same; I just made it flow differently. I mean, I'm not out to completely warp the story. I just want it better. Also, re-reading it made me sad, my writing style was so immature it hurt. SO! Here's the new and improved Yaruki! Same idea, but written a bit differently.


	2. The Laundry Escapade

######################################

Wufei opened his eyes and let just the slightest bit of sunlight in. Some moron hadn't closed the curtains last night and so the sunlight was forcing it's way into places it wasn't wanted, like a spoiled child used to getting what it wants. Wufei sighed and moved to roll over, but found that something was pressed up against his back. It was warm, and yielding, and Wufei tried to remember where he was. It couldn't be Shaolin-they'd broken up months ago. Right? Or was all that just a dream...Wufei felt a little disoriented, and slowly moved on hand behind him to touch whatever he was touching. It was a face, and soft hair. 'Maybe I got drunk last night and slept with some stupid woman.' Wufei thought with a shrug. After all, no man could possibly have hair that soft and silky. He sighed and leaned back into the softness that was the person he was sleeping with. Then, it came to him.

'Holy goddamn shit! That is Hiro Yui! I am getting cozy with HIRO YUI. HIRO YUI!!!!' Wufei thought, resisting the urge to twitch and shriek uncontrollably. He didn't want Hiro to know that he was awake, because then it would seem as if he...well, you know. He'd been awake all this time and didn't do anything about the situation, therefore implying that he wanted said situation to continue, and he didn't. Well, he didn't want it to continue as long as it was Hiro occupying position number two. Wufei took a slow, deep breath, and started to gently move as slowly as possible. 'Okay, here we go. Nice and easy...' Just as Wufei was slowly detaching himself from Hiro, he saw an arm going flying around his neck.

"EEEEEP!" Wufei said involuntarily, in a strangely high pitched and feminine voice that would scare the pants of a...pants wearing thing. Hiro pulled Wufei back to him, began to pull a Starfish-Duo, and latched onto Wufei in numerous places. The creepy part was that Hiro was completely asleep. Wufei took hopefully calming breaths, but found that he started to hyperventilate instead. He forced himself to stop and closed his eyes.

' No offense Yui, but I'd really not like to be this close to you!!' Wufei thought as he tried to peel one of Hiro's arms off him. Wufei frowned as the arm refused to even budge off his skin. 'This is going to get decidedly uncomfortable, and if he doesn't move soon I am going to start using pressure points...' Wufei silently threatened. Though, he feared that if it did come to that, Hiro would wake and discover the position the two men were in, and Wufei couldn't decide who would be more embarrassed. But, if Wufei did nothing, Hiro might do something even worse.

Almost as if in response to Wufei's thoughts, the now Starfish-Hiro pulled Wufei freakishly close, and snuggled his head into Wufei's shoulder. Wufei's blush of embarrassment for both of them had the intensity of a brilliant, high voltage red Christmas light. He could feel the heat rising from his face, and it seemed to him that he was practically emitting a red glow. Wufei tried to move from side to side, to get his arms free, but Starfish-Hiro was too damn intelligent for red-Christmas-light-Wufei. Wufei could not get free. At this point, Wufei's focus was much more on simply getting free, regardless of the awkwardness that would follow if Hiro woke while still holding Wufei. Too bad that Wufei's high-pitched scream was used up earlier; he could have used it now to scare the pants of Starfish-Hiro, which might have broken S-H's creepy strong starfish-like grip. Damn the luck.

"Hiro...you're killing me..." Wufei strangled out, and that was not entirely untruthful. Starfish-Hiro did have a death grip Wufei's body...and as we all know, that's a dangerous position to be in. Wufei had trouble taking a full breath, because Hiro main grip centered on his chest area. Wufei tried to simply inflate his stomach area, but he wasn't used to breathing there and found that he was now putting too much attention into breathing. Wufei wriggled his legs, but Hiro had used his own limbs to effectively render Wufei helpless. Wufei moved his head back, and rested his eyes for a moment. He could probably break free if he really needed to, but that would most likely hurt Hiro, and that would be interesting to explain. 'Oh, yeah, as if I'd believe him if he said he'd hurt me because I did what he's doing...' Wufei thought, and rolled a shoulder backwards, adjusting Hiro grip slightly, but not enough. Wufei could feel himself getting impatient and what felt like claustrophobia minus the small space part, and made a bet with his self. If Hiro didn't let go soon, or loosen his grip, Wufei would act.

" ...Password...." Hiro mumbled. Wufei arched an eyebrow, and mouthed to the screen that we're looking in from the word "Password?", although he didn't say anything out loud. 'What the bloody freakin' hell?' Wufei could not even imagine what the hell Hiro could be dreaming of, after all, he'd never had a dream like that...okay, well, in all honesty...there was that one time, but that's another story, and involved four pieces of licorice. Wufei wished that he had his hands free so that he could rub his temples and vent some frustration, but he resisted by default. 'Okay, let's start with the basics...' Wufei thought. He started thinking of possible passwords with the hope that if he guessed correctly he wouldn't have to hurt Hiro.

"Yui Hiro." No effect. Wufei thought again, if it wasn't Hiro's own name, perhaps someone close to him? "Relena Peacecraft." Wufei had hoped for more then the shudder that ran down Hiro's body. Wufei sighed and thought. "Chang Wufei." Wufei finally decided on. Hiro twitched. Wufei felt like cheering. He tried again. "Wufei." There was another slight twitch, but nothing more. Wufei narrowed his eyes, he wondered..."Wu-chan." One of Hiro's legs loosed its starfish hold. 'Okay. Now we're getting somewhere. All right, let's just go down the list of the stupid nicknames that Duo has for me...'

"Changy. Changy-chang. Cha-Chang. Fang-Chang. Chang-dittity. Changaly-wangaly. Wu-man. Wuffie. Wu-wu. Wu-er. Wu-baby. Wu-wu-kins. Fei-Fei. Fei-chan. Fei-dude. Fei-man. Fei-ster. El Wufeirino. Le Fei a la Wu." Wufei recited them one after another, and by the time he was done, Starfish-Hiro had relaxed his grip long enough for Wufei to scurry away. Once Wufei was out of the bed, he looked at Hiro incredulously. 'He's got to be on something!!!!' Wufei thought, and decided to take revenge for the starfish effect that Hiro had imposed on Wufei. While planning his revenge, his mind conveniently deleted that the things that had been the "password" were his name. Yep, conveniently.

Just as Wufei was about to extract his revenge (can we say: Chinese-water-torture-Wufei-style?) Hiro woke up with a jolt. He looked around, completely composed, and noticed Wufei standing there with his jaw on the floor. Hiro raised his left eyebrow and smiled at Wufei in both amusement and confusion.

"You must tell me how you managed to do that." Hiro said, marveling at Wufei's hanging jaw.

"Aye dun e-en know how aye d-d eh." Wufei said, trying to force his jaw back into place.

"I see." Hiro cracked his neck and stretched his arms out. He wondered why it felt like he'd been gripping something tightly. No matter, sometimes he woke up like that. He figured he must just tense up when he slept. "Good morning." Hiro said, after he finished stretching.

"Uh-huh." That was all that Wufei could manage since his jaw was still about five feet long, and not getting any shorter. 'How the bloody hell did I do this?' He thought, frustrated that it wouldn't go back to normal. 'Don't tell me that I'm stuck this way?' Wufei thought.

"I'd offer to help, but...I can't say I have any experience in this matter." Hiro said and lifted his body out of the bed. Wufei shoved hard on his jaw and thought of something serious. His jaw returned to normal, and he sighed. He never thought he'd be grateful that his jaw stayed in one place. "All better?" Hiro asked, and Wufei nodded, more than a little grumpy. It was a bad way to start the morning.

"Let's just go get dressed." Wufei ground out between his teeth. Hiro stayed silent. Wufei opened the walk in closet carefully, prepared for sequins, silk, and less than enough to cover a full body shirt or shorts cut so close to the waist is was more like wearing a wide belt. He expected such like that because one year as a Valentine's Day gag, Duo had sent all four other Gundam pilots matching outfits of said shirt and said "shorts." Luckily, Hiro's proposed thesis of provocative clothing proved wrong, although not necessarily unfounded, and they found normal clothing for the day. So, they threw the pile of their clothes down the laundry shoot in one sweeping motion and took out their new clothing.

Wufei was in black jeans, that although they were tight, they weren't unnaturally so. He had a black T-shirt and a light jacket that was a softer black. Hiro had a similar outfit, except his was more like a black and dark green mix. His outfit had a sticky note attached to it (obviously from Duo) that simply said: "Sorry, I couldn't find any black spandex shorts in your size. These jeans are all I could manage. " Both men had smirked at each other, and Hiro snorted.

"I'll have it known that they weren't spandex; they were lycra. There is a difference."

Wufei only laughed.

"So...we're supposed to do certain things...right Chang?" Hiro asked as they made their way to the kitchen.

"Uh-huh." Wufei said, and opened up the refrigerator. "Yeah, Duo said he'd leave a note somewhere with a whole list of stupid things."

"I can't believe him sometimes..." Hiro said darkly, and Wufei shrugged.

"It's how he is. Annoying, but amusing, I suppose." Wufei scanned the refrigerator contents. "Want anything we got in here? There's not much in the way of breakfast food..." Wufei pushed a few things around, scrounging for something that looked like if he ate it now he wouldn't regret in a few hours.

"No, that's alright. For breakfast, I usually just go out and eat something cheap." Hiro sat down at the table. "If nothing else, we could always get some ramen." Wufei made a face.

"I can't stand ramen. If we do anything, we'll just go and spend the money, thanks."

"Whatever." Hiro shrugged. 'Nothing wrong with ramen,' he thought to himself.

"So, did Duo say where he was going to leave this list? He didn't tell me." Wufei said, shutting the refrigerator and coming to sit down opposite Hiro.

"No, I thought he'd told you." Hiro shook his head. Wufei sighed.

"Isn't it always like that?" Wufei asked, and threw his legs up on the chair to his right. Hiro rolled his eyes to the ceiling and nodded. "If we can't find it, do we still have to do the things on it?" Wufei wondered out loud.

"We said we would follow it." Hiro said blandly. Wufei shrugged.

" Well, that was the agreement," Wufei said. "But, that was under the condition that we knew what was ON said list."

"I don't think Duo would buy that." Hiro said, and Wufei shrugged again, this time with more exasperation.

"Well, what are we supposed to do then?" Wufei scowled at Hiro, and ran his tongue over his teeth in annoyance. Hiro stood up.

"I motion we go and eat breakfast first, and worry about the list when we get back." Hiro said, and Wufei smiled.

"I like how you think Yui."

They got back from breakfast, full and happy, but still found no list.

"Maybe he forgot." Wufei suggested and plopped down into the chair.

"I doubt that." Hiro said with a scowl. He blinked, and frowned. Something was under one of the chairs. "Move." He said to Wufei, who grudgingly moved out of his chair.

"What is it?" Wufei asked, annoyed. Hiro reached out and grabbed the white piece of paper. His frown intensified, and he let out a small growl. "What?" Wufei asked, this time serious and ready for anything. Hiro thrust the paper into his hands.

Dear Wufei and Hiro,  
Enjoy your stay! I'll bring over the list tomorrow, I'll place it on your clothes, so don't forget! I'll be hanging around; so, don't even think about disobeying the list!

Much love, affection, and all that,  
Duo Maxwell

"On...our...clothes?" Wufei asked, confused. Hiro's frown hadn't lessened.

"As in on the pile of clothing that we..." Hiro used his hands to sketch out what they'd done with their clothes.

"Oh...shit." Wufei said, grinding his teeth.

"I'm sorry sirs, but we can't allow you to go in there." The man outside the laundry room said, apologizing for the seventh time.

"But, those are our clothes!" Wufei gritted his teeth dangerously. "As in, we own them! They're our private property!"

" I'm sorry, it's hotel policy." The man said, bowing and apologizing again.

" This is a total injustice! Those are our clothes and we aren't allowed to take them back? That's ridiculous! This is a dishonor! Goddamn hotel policy! How about I take that policy of yours and shove it-" Hiro stopped Wufei before he could go much farther on that tangent by clamping a hand over Wufei's mouth which he feared would begin spouting Wufei's wide vocabulary of curse words.

" We understand. Come, Chang, let's go." Hiro said, forcefully leading Wufei away from the manager, although, he didn't quite manage to grab Wufei's hand before he made an obscene gesture at the man outside the laundry room.

When they were out of sight and hearing range, Hiro released Wufei.

" Hiro Yui, what the hell did you think you were doing?" Wufei asked glaring with full force at Hiro, who wasn't even shocked enough to blink.

" Chang, there are other ways to get to that laundry room." Hiro said, motioning that Wufei follow him back to the room. Wufei followed dubiously. "Besides," Hiro threw over his shoulder, "there's no reason to act like an eight year old just because you didn't get what you want, when you wanted it." Wufei's face flamed red, but he stayed quiet. Hiro had a disturbingly accurate point, but Wufei did not intend to acknowledge that.

"Yui...there is no way I am going down that laundry shoot. No fucking way." Wufei said adamantly. Hiro raised an eyebrow.

"Oh really?" Hiro said skeptically. "And just whose fault is that we have to do this at all?" Wufei rolled his eyes. Just because he'd been the one to actually toss the clothes into the chute didn't put him at fault. And, just because it was because he'd rearranged the furniture the day before, they hadn't found Duo's first note in time didn't put him at fault. Okay, actually, both of those put him at fault, but he wasn't going to admit that. Hiro had been annoyingly correct twice today, and it was only 11:00am.

" I'll follow you in about 5 seconds, so make sure you land quickly and get out of the way even faster." Hiro said in a clipped voice, and Wufei felt like laying his fist into Hiro's stomach to knock out that superior tone, but Wufei knew better.

'I'm just angry because the s.o.b. is right...dammit, I am acting like a child. I hate it when he says stuff like that though...' Wufei snarled to himself, and moved into position. "Yeah, yeah, yeah." Wufei said out loud, and he waved his hand back and forth arrogantly. 'Going to kill Duo...kill...kill...' Wufei chanted in his mind as he squeezed his body into the shoot, hoping to God that he wouldn't get stuck or anything weird. 'All this for that stupid list...kill...kill...kill...'

"AH!" Wufei screamed shortly as the shoot curved suddenly, nearly making him dash his brains out. He stalled for two seconds and continued onwards, banging his extremely well muscled and bronzed Chinese body in multiple places. By the time he finally reached the bottom, he was bleeding in four places, and bruised extensively. As he sat in the basket that had broken his fall rubbing his head, he realized a little too late that Hiro was right behind him. "GAHHH!" Wufei yelled out as Hiro sprawled on Wufei. They were now tangled up in clothing, each other's arms, legs, and some other things that Wufei would rather not name.

' Where did all his training go?' Hiro thought, as he moved his body away from Wufei's.

" Nice job remembering to move, Chang." Hiro said evenly, as stood up. He felt Wufei's glare, but knew that Wufei wouldn't say anything out loud. "Next time, remember before you're supposed to act, hm?" Hiro said caustically, and he could practically feel Wufei fume. 'Good,' Hiro thought, 'he needs to be brought down from his high horse.'

"Whatever. Let's find our clothes." Wufei said, looking around from his place on the floor. Wufei couldn't help but notice that Hiro had received only one bruise on his elbow from his trip down the laundry shoot. 'How the fuck did he do that?' Wufei thought, willing his jaw not to drop, as they really didn't have time for that right now. 'Maybe I really do need to train harder...' Wufei though, glancing down at his aching body and comparing it to Hiro's near flawless limbs. Wufei swallowed hard, hoping to crush the strange urge he felt to reach out and touch that perfect flesh. Hiro moved away, and Wufei felt relief rush to replace what had nearly become a war of desires. "Uh...Yui, they're not here." Wufei said, after looking around briefly again. He had used words more than once to push people away, and to conceal his private thoughts.

"I noticed." Hiro said, and walked off towards the washing machines.

" Do you see them?" Wufei said, picking himself gingerly off the floor.

" Um...yes and no." Hiro said and pointed at their clothes that were at the top of a very dangerously high pile of clothing. Wufei just barely managed to keep his jaw normal this time, since the pile was at the very least ten feet tall. But, he could see his pants at the top. Yes, those were definitely his pants, and he could see a slightly crumpled piece of paper sticking out of one of the pockets.

" How are we going to get them though?" Wufei asked. "Think they keep a stepladder or something just lying innocently around?"

"Hm." Hiro said, and chewed his bottom lip.

'That's a new habit...' Wufei thought, glancing over at Hiro. 'He's never done that before.'

"You're Chinese, right?" Hiro asked, seemingly randomly.

" Uh...yes." Wufei answered, wondering where Hiro was heading with that.

"Time for some Chinese acrobatics." Hiro announced with a creepy glint in his eye. Wufei hung his head.

"Ready Chang?" Hiro asked. He laced his hands together to form a boost.

" Yeah, yeah, yeah." Wufei answered, and Hiro glared.

" Last time that you said that I ended up putting my face in a place that was never made for my face." Hiro said, glaring harder. Wufei laughed, but blushed. Hiro smirked back, but raised his eyebrows for confirmation that Wufei wasn't just saying what he thought Hiro wanted to hear.

" Okay: Yes, I am ready Yui-san." Wufei said, mocking a salute. Hiro shook his head slightly at the over use of military expression. Wufei cocked an eyebrow, and Hiro shrugged.

" Fine. Go." Hiro said, and Wufei started running towards Hiro. Just as he was about to land on Hiro's hands, a laundry lady came in. Hiro dropped his hands just as Wufei's foot hit where Hiro's hands should be. Wufei's chin crashed into Hiro's forehead and both were launched into the pile of laundry. It tottered for a moment, but then it all came crashing down around the two men.

" AH! What a mess!" The lady exclaimed at the sight of the fallen mountain. She looked around for the culprit. Wufei and Hiro kept very still under the avalanche, and so the lady merely shrugged. "Ah well. I'll blame it on the new girl, Anna. She should have gotten this started, anyways. She's probably out necking with that bellboy...humph. Things just aren't like they used to be, I'll tell you that." The laundry lady said to the washing machine.

What seemed like infinity later, the laundry lady finally left. Wufei popped out of the clothes first, gasping for air. He scurried out of the pile and started looking for his jeans. He couldn't find them, even though he sent hundreds of clothes flying everywhere. Turning suddenly, he saw them, going around and around in the washing machine. He groaned. He collapsed by the machine that held his pants and the list of things that they had to do before the two weeks were over. Hiro appeared out of the myriad of clothes and came over to Wufei.

" Chang. You have female underwear on your head." Hiro said in his deadpan voice, but Wufei couldn't even laugh. Wufei reached up and pulled of the lacey and showy thong off of his head, emotionlessly. He put his hand on the glass that allowed him to see his jeans going around and around and around and around.

" Yui...there's our list...it's all watery and stuff now. We'll never know what we're supposed to do." Wufei said wearily, placing his head on the glass. "We'll be running blind...and then Duo will blackmail us into an even longer 'vacation.'" Hiro sighed, and put a hand on Wufei's shoulder, after removing the bra that was resting on it.

" Look, relax Chang. It doesn't really matter. I'm sure we can guess what Duo would put on a list like that. Let's go back to the room." Hiro said, yanking on Wufei's shirt. Wufei sighed longingly for his pants, specifically for the list in the pants, but went along with Hiro.

Wufei and Hiro returned to their room dejected and frustrated. Neither felt like talking, so they sat in silence at the kitchen table for a few minutes. Wufei's skin prickled from the tension.

"I'm sorry." Wufei offered, glancing up at Hiro briefly to watch his expression. Hiro only raised his eyebrows.

"For what?" Hiro's voice was frighteningly neutral. Wufei wasn't sure if it meant that Hiro didn't think Wufei should apologize for anything at all, or if Wufei should apologize for many things.

"Well...I guess for just not paying enough attention. I mean...if we had been out in the field, and that list was something more important," Wufei paused, and sat forward. "We would have been screwed over six ways to Sunday. It would have been a failure because of me." Wufei tried to keep the self-pity out of his voice, but as memories flooded back, he found his grip on reality slipping. "If it had been another Chesterfill...maybe you wouldn't have survived my mistake twice. My stupid lack of attention to fucking details is going to get one of us, or both of us, killed some day." Wufei clenched his fists tightly. Hiro let Wufei calm himself down before speaking.

"Keep kicking yourself."

"What?" Wufei looked up, blinking in confusion at the strange statement.

"I said, keep kicking yourself." Hiro scowled, his eyes hard and flat. "After all, it's your fault isn't it?"

"I..." Wufei's mouth felt lax, and he knew he was probably making an excellent impersonation of a goldfish, but he couldn't help it. Hiro had never said anything like that before; even when Wufei had fucked up so bad Hiro had nearly died. Hiro had been cold, but strangely understanding. Now, because of some list, Hiro decided to turn on him. Well, fuck that. Wufei may have been at fault, but it wasn't like Hiro had never screwed up before! There was The Welliva Project that could have succeeded if not for Hiro's inability to seduce females, and there was the Toyster Mission that Hiro had messed up so royally Sally Po was still battling lawsuits to this day. Oh, and let's not forget Tilgrat. What a trip that was thanks to-

"Thinking of all the times I've ever fucked up?" Hiro asked gently, and his eyes were neutral again. Again, Wufei was taken aback. "Yes?" Wufei frowned, but nodded. Hiro's eyes lightened. "We all make mistakes, Chang. I fuck you, you fuck up, we all fuck up. It's part of the business. So, this is just one of those things. I'm not going to hold it against you, so don't hold it against yourself. You've apologized, you understand your mistake, you know that you're still expected to carry on, what's the problem?" Hiro stood up, and looked down at Wufei.

"Nothing. Nothing's the problem." Wufei gave a small crooked smile.

"Right." Hiro walked over to the living room, and sat down in what was quickly becoming "his" chair. "I think I'll call Duo and Yuu's house and see if he can fax over the list, seeing as we've lost it." Wufei nodded.

"Sounds good," Wufei said. Privately, he thought that Hiro was doing what he always did: damage control. Wufei could execute a good mission, but if something went wrong or deviated from the plan, he tended to lose that control over the situation every mission calls for and worse things happened. Hiro could usually fix anything. It was something that Wufei envied more than anything about Hiro.

"Interesting," Hiro said suddenly. Wufei turned around in his chair.

"What is?"

"This." Hiro picked up a piece of paper by the phone. "This wasn't here when we left, was it?"

"I don't think so." Wufei frowned and got out of his chair to walk over to Hiro. He stood in front of Hiro until he looked up at Wufei. Wufei felt the strangest urge to lean over and rest one hand on each armrest, and because he was focusing on the piece of paper, he did just that. He now effectively had caught Hiro in a cage of arms. Hiro blinked, but as always, went along with it. "Let me see it." Wufei said, and his breath caused the hair on Hiro's head to move gently. Hiro turned the paper towards Wufei's face. Wufei took it gently and resumed a standing position. His frown returned and deepened as he scanned it.

"1. See a full length movie together. It can be of any genre, but aim for something you can both talk about afterwards.

" 2. Eat dinner in at least TWO fancy restaurants, and leave a note on the kitchen table ahead of time for dress up clothes.

" 3. Go to an amusement park and stay from the time it opens to the time it closes. Make sure to leave a note on the table for sun block, backpacks, and anything else you may need.

" 4. Go to an aquarium for the day, and find a fish that matches the other's personality.

" 5. Hold hands at least two hours a day starting the third day, to get used to intimacy.

" 6. Kiss at least three times on the lips before the first week is up, because you guys need to learn about that special spark.

" 7. Go on at least three picnics. Make sure the basket has food you both like, and leave note requesting any extras you want (ie: Frisbee, football, etc).

" 8. By the second week, hold hands at least three hours a day in public, mainly to answer any questions about what you are to each other to other curious people. It'll be good for your people skills.

" 9. Kiss each other once a day on the lips beginning the second week. This is not optional.

" 10. Optional: DO IT AT LEAST ONCE. COME ON GUYS. YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO. Supplies are in the medicine cabinet.

PS-Next time Wufei don't be so damn neurotic. Oh, and Hiro, you have a sock sticking to the back of your left leg. Static electricity is fun, fun, fun. Have a great two weeks buddies!

MUCH LOVE:

The One and Only Duo Maxwell"

Hiro reached down and pulled of the sock off his leg. It was still there. Wufei looked up from the list to stare down at Hiro.

"How did he...?" Wufei began. Hiro shook his head and shrugged. Wufei looked back at the list

"When it comes to sneaking around, Duo is one of the best. You should have seen him back in the days he was part of the Preventers. He was incredible. He showed sides that were barely even hinted at during The War."

"Obviously. I think I've seriously underestimated him." Wufei read over the list again. "Strange how so many of these things seems to be what, say, a couple would do." Wufei glanced quickly at Hiro hoping to get a peek of his reaction, but Hiro's face was closed.

"Yes, strange indeed." Hiro peeled himself out of the chair to stand in front of Wufei. Wufei took a step back, and nodded. Wufei coughed, a little nervously.

"Want a copy of this?" Wufei shook the list to indicate what he meant, and Hiro nodded. Hiro's eyes then turned to the room, and Wufei breathed again.

'I know that he's mostly free from all those issues he used to have, but sometimes those eyes are just a little too much.' Wufei thought, as he went to get his personal copy machine out of his suitcase. It would take two scans to get the full list, but the machine was portable and that's what mattered.

"We should do something off that list today." Hiro said, following Wufei into the bedroom. He stopped at the doorway, and leaned against the frame. Wufei didn't even bother looking up from his work. He was trying to merge the two scans so he could print it out as one paper. So far, so good, but Duo's handwriting was erratic and it wouldn't match up properly.

"Like what?" Wufei cropped some more off the second scan, and made the first scan larger by .0078. Perfect. He pushed print.

"It's not even noon, what about something like going to the aquarium?"

"Hmm," Wufei said. His eyes stayed glued to the print. It was coming out identical to the original.

"Or we could go see a movie," Hiro suggested. Wufei nodded distractedly. Everything seemed to be coming out right, but the first scan had been enlarged, so the words were slightly blurry. Wufei had forgotten to fix the contrast so that the gray didn't show.

"Or we could get naked, dress up in thongs, and go ice skating. I can call to see if the rink is still open."

"Okay, sounds good to me." Wufei adjusted the contrast, and zoomed in to 500 to check the blend lines. Yep, he'd have to print out another copy. Something nagged him in the back of his head. Hiro's last suggestion re-played in his mind. Wufei sat up suddenly, and blushed. "What the hell did you just say?"

"Just seeing if you were paying attention," Hiro said. He crossed his arms and looked pointedly at Wufei.

"Yeah, well, it worked. Hold on, I'm almost done here."

"I bet you say that to all the girls," Hiro said. Wufei looked up, let a moment of silence go by, then laughed. Hiro gave a small smile in return. Wufei shook his head and stood up. He handed the printed copy to Hiro with laughter still in his eyes.

"Never thought I'd hear you crack a joke Yui."

"That makes two of us," Hiro said softly. Wufei nodded in understanding. 'Then again,' Hiro thought, 'I never thought I'd live this long.'

"Well, as tempting as ice skating naked sounds, I think I'd prefer just going out to eat for lunch. Hell, we could make it a picnic and cut that off the list," Wufei said as he pushed past Hiro.

"Uh, I didn't say go ice skating naked, Chang." Hiro said to Wufei's back.

"Oh?" Wufei turned around to look at Hiro.

"No," Hiro said, and walked past Wufei, letting his words travel backwards. "We would have had thongs on."

Hiro and Wufei stopped at a Grocery store and bought more food for the impromptu picnic. They didn't have a basket, or a blanket, or anything else one might think of when one thinks of a picnic, except for the possibility of sandwiches. They walked the four blocks to the nearest park, with it's artificially planted trees, bushes, and pathways.

"This isn't a park," Wufei scoffed.

"It's not an ice skating rink," Hiro said evenly. Wufei snorted.

"No, indeed. It's not that." Wufei waved his hand at the trees. "But these aren't even indigenous to this region. They had to be imported. And these," he indicated the flowers, "are all just from a package. Real flowers don't have that spaced look, like someone scattered the seeds carefully. You want a real park, you have to go to China." Wufei looked up at the trees blocking the sunshine.

"Oh, China. Funny...I thought the real parks were in Japan." Hiro's voice came out completely neutral as he looked where Wufei was looking.

"Well, you're wrong."

The two men got back from the outing when the sun was setting, and their eyes were beginning to get tired. But, Hiro stopped at the grocery store and picked up coffee.

"I used to live off the stuff," Hiro confessed back in the hotel room. Wufei lounged on the couch, his feet thrown over one arm, his back against the other, and his arm stretched across his face. Hiro clicked on the machine and leaned over the counter. The white, cold tile pressed against his arms, but it wasn't entirely an unpleasant feeling. The park had been warm, and when they'd gotten into an impromptu race, both men had gotten sweaty and hot. Wufei sighed from underneath his arm.

"You know...I thought Duo was just being his usual asinine self, but...maybe he was right."

"What do you mean?" Hiro stayed still, but kept an eye on the coffee.

"Well," Wufei moved his arm off his face to behind his head and rolled his other shoulder back. "Maybe we did need this."

"This?"

"Yeah. This," Wufei swung his legs back normal and sat up in one motion. "This...what do normal people call it...vacation."

"Mmmm...vacation. I don't think I've ever taken a vacation before," Hiro said, in an even voice, implying nothing.

"Neither have I, not really," Wufei mused. "In fact, if you remember, it's when I have nothing to do that I run into trouble. God, I'll never live down Mariemaia."

"Well, at least you didn't ever do anything stupid like self-destruct." Hiro leaned over and poured the coffee carefully into the cup.

"It wasn't stupid, Yui. It was the best thing you could come up with at the time. It was also an order during a time when we lived by orders."

"Don't justify it Chang." Hiro walked to the refrigerator and pulled out the milk they'd bought. He returned and poured some into his. "Milk?" He asked Wufei, who only shook his head. Hiro put the milk back, grabbed the sugar box, and held it up as a question. Again, Wufei shook his head. Hiro shrugged and poured some into his cup. He used to take his coffee black until he'd realized there were other ways to drink it. He picked the cups up gingerly, and walked them slowly over to the couch. Wufei accepted his in silence, and Hiro sat in his chair. A few minutes passed where neither talked.

'I've never seen Hiro this open...this...honest. It's strange. Maybe we really are growing up.' Wufei thought to himself, sipping his coffee in quick intakes of breath. Finally, without warning, Hiro spoke.

"I sometimes wonder what else I could have done. I think that maybe that was the most damaging thing I did when I was younger. It's been 10 years and I can still remember the feeling of pushing that button, thinking my life would be over before it even started. I think I'll still know that 10 years from now, and 10 years from then. I don't think I'll ever really forget. I don't want that hanging over me, but there it is. I remember how my mind was so blank...it was like I was in a small room full of nothing but silence and this light that shone through everything. I felt like I could have killed anyone or anything, and it wouldn't have mattered. But..." Hiro paused. Wufei kept as still as possible, barely breathing, afraid that he would move and shock Hiro out of his thoughts. He'd never heard Hiro speak like this before, not ever. "But, some days I wonder what I would have done if I hadn't had that place to go to. What if I had been Quatre? Or even Duo?" Hiro looked up at Wufei, who swallowed and held his breath. "And some days, I wonder, what I would have done if had been you."

"Did you like being married?" Hiro asked, his voice growing rougher as the night wore on. Wufei stared at the bottom of his mug, at the remnants of the coffee.

"Can I get a refill?" Wufei held up his mug. Any other person would have accused him of avoiding the question, any other person would have said get it yourself, any other person would have scowled or rolled their eyes, but this was Hiro Yui and so he only quietly reached over, lifted the mug out of Wufei's hand, and went to the kitchen to refill the mug. Wufei sat and looked as his hands. He listened to the sounds of Hiro pouring the coffee, refreshing his own serving, and padding back over to Wufei.

"Chang?" Hiro said to get Wufei's attention. Wufei looked up, grabbed the mug, and thanked Hiro. Hiro moved and sat back down in his chair and took a demure gulp of his coffee. Wufei sighed.

"Did I like being married..." Wufei asked himself, and moved his tongue on his teeth. He moved his jaw around, and took a sip of coffee. "Yes and no, really."

"Oh?" was all Hiro said. Wufei waited for more questions asking for clarification, but again, this was Hiro Yui, and he didn't seem to possess a bone of curiosity in his body. Wufei set his mug on the table, and leaned back into the couch.

"I hated it at the time, but I think, looking back, that it wasn't so bad. I mean, it gave me status, responsibility, and a position of head of household."

"Power," Hiro said. Wufei looked up, nodding slightly.

"Yes, exactly." Wufei looked up at the ceiling. "So, did I like being married?" Wufei looked back at Hiro, his eyes tired and jaded. "Maybe I'll never know."

"Let's hope the pajamas are better this time, hm?" Wufei said as the two men made their way to the bedroom.

"Hm," Hiro said, and held up a pair of silk boxers that would obviously cling to his skin. Wufei groaned.

"I don't know whether to consider it a step forward...or back," Wufei curled his lip in disgust as he lifted his own off the comforter. "Are we really expected to wear these?" Wufei turned to Hiro to ask, to find Hiro already half stripped. Hiro shrugged and unzipped his pants. Wufei turned away, blushing, and stared at the boxers in his hands.

"Goodnight, Chang." Wufei heard Hiro get into the bed, and pull the covers over his body. Wufei took a deep breath, pulled his shirt over his head, and pushed down his pants. He stepped into the boxers, and moved to the opposite side of the bed.

"Yeah...goodnight, Yui."

Recently, I've received a review about my spelling of "Hiro's" name. I spell it as "Hiro" because the English "Heero" 1. looks funny to me, 2. is in no way shape or form how it would be spelled out in a translation normally, and 3. is simply easier to type. I mean, I see "Heero" and I think of "hero," as opposed to "Hiro" which looks right to me. Besides, when pronounced, it isn't "Hiiiiiiro," with an elongated "i" so I don't see the purposed of the double "e." Also, if it WAS elongated, it would make sense to write it as "Heiro" instead of "Heero" if you followed the traditional way of writing hiragana. Of course, that would make his name "Heero" as in "Heh-roh" which sounds funny. And, so, I decided with control of the characters, I'll make it "Hiro" and satisfy my own eyes. Thanks for the review! D

hope that the revision is meeting with everyone's joy and happiness. As you can see, I've added MANY, MANY, MANY new scenes that I just skipped over originally, because it was just a sort of spur of the moment, not meant to go anywhere, thing. Now that I want to finish it, I have plot devices, and full 24-hour days, instead of 2-hour days, like I did before. (Originally, after they get the list back, they pretty much walk in, read the list, and then get ready for bed. Err...time really does fly when you're having fun, eh?) 


	3. Pass the Butter

Pairings: 1x5, 3x4, 2xYuu  
  
Warnings: Yaoi, fluff, swearing, just plain ol' weirdness  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Notes: This is just a fic that I'm writing for the very hell of it. It's sorta AU, and it won't make a lot of sense if you haven't read Saikou no Shiawase (cause you won't know who Yuu is). Milly should like it. Well...maybe. ^_^  
  
Disclaimer: Now, since I am a poor widdle Chibi, you won't want to sue me. On top of that, I don't own Gundam Wing, nor do I claim that I do, (Well...does dreaming count? O_o) so you have no reason to. Yay. Me technically own this fic. No steal. If steal you be bad. Hate you forever. _  
  
'Think'  
"Talk"  
~~~time passes~~~  
***flash backs***  
  
###############################################################  
  
When Wufei woke up on the third day of the two weeks that he and Hiro were forced to take part of, he jumped up out of bed quickly. He had had enough fun with Starfish-Hiros in the morning to last him a lifetime, thank you very much. After eyeing Hiro to make sure that the other dark haired man wasn't going to make any sudden movements, Wufei backed up cautiously from the bed, and out of the room. Once he was completely clear of the bedroom, Wufei breathed normally again. 'Well, that could have been worse...' Wufei thought gratefully. He walked to the kitchen, and opened the mini-fridge. All of the supplies that they had used in the cooking expedition had been replaced sometime yesterday. Shoving aside bad memories of laundry, Wufei began to think of what to cook for breakfast...  
  
Whilst Wufei labored in the kitchen, Hiro Yui woke up. The first thing that he realized was that Wufei was definitely *not* in the bed. The second thing was that there was the smell of food in the air, and judging by his smelling techniques, it was something *good*. 'My guess would be that Chang is cooking...'  
  
Hiro sighed and climbed out of bed, and went groggily to the closet that held their clothes for the days they would spend there. Today's outfit was a button up deep navy blue long sleeved silk shirt, with a pair of black cargo shorts that reached past his knees. Hiro left the top four buttons on the top and bottom of the shirt undone purposefully, and wore the cargo shorts with the blue belt that he found hanging in the corner of the closet. He also noted that Wufei had left the room still in the "pajamas" from last night. 'Well, that will certainly be in-...was I just going to think "interesting"? Since *when* do I find other men in Speedo's "interesting"?' Hiro thought, frowning. Still lost in thought, he wandered out of the bedroom and into the living room/dining room where Wufei was placing their food on the table.  
  
"Good morning, Yui." Wufei said, inclining his head in Hiro's general direction, and he sat down at the table and waited for Hiro to join him before he started eating.   
  
"Morning Wufei." Hiro said without thinking, and Wufei's head snapped up. 'Did...he just call me by my first name?' Wufei asked himself, which doesn't do much good, cause if he has to ask himself then that means that he doesn't know, so asking yourself it sorta pointless...but, whatever. The point is that Wufei didn't believe that Hiro had just called him by his first name, since they almost *always* referred to each other by their last names. Hiro looked at Wufei questioningly after Wufei had raised his head so suddenly.  
  
"Something wrong Chang?" Hiro asked quietly. Wufei flushed slightly, and shook his head.  
  
"No, I'm fine." Hiro acknowledged Wufei's statement of his well being with a nod. As he silently continued on with his breakfast, he was inwardly kicking himself...repeatedly.  
  
'Yui, you are a moron. First, you start to think that seeing him in a Speedo is "interesting", and then you call him by his first name...yeah, Wufei isn't going to suspect *anything* is up...right. This is getting out of hand. I *refuse* to believe that I find Wufei, gah, CHANG is attractive, intelligent, etc.' Hiro said to himself, even though, he admitted in a very small and very quiet voice inside the deep depths of his mind that Wufei really *was* attractive and was *very* intelligent...and many of those other "etc.s" that Hiro had chosen to leave out. 'Great, that doesn't sound like I'm in denial or anything. Which, I'm not by the way. I'm just stating all these things to get my feelings straight. GAH. That wasn't poor phrasing or anything...' Hiro frowned and growled at himself. Wufei raised an eyebrow.  
  
'Umm...did Hiro, gack now he's got *me* doing it, Yui just growl at me? That is *not* safe if he did...oh, so very not safe.' Wufei thought warily, trying very hard to just focus on finishing his expertly prepared omelet.  
  
"Will you please pass the butter?" Hiro asked serenely. Wufei jumped. This time, it was Hiro's turn (they're taking turns now are they?) to raise an eyebrow.  
  
"Umm...sure." Wufei said, and handed Hiro the butter in such a way that their hands would be forced to touch. At skin-to-skin contact though, both dropped the plate with the slab of butter on it.  
  
"GAH!" Wufei yelled out and moved away from the shattering porcelain. Hiro remained motionless. That is, until Wufei doubled over in pain.  
  
"Wufei?!" Hiro asked concerned.  
  
"I'm...fine. It's just the bruises and stuff I got from yesterdays...thing." Wufei said, wishing he hadn't moved so fast. He winced in pain as not only one of the cuts on his legs started bleeding again, but also as he realized that he had a shard of porcelain in his right palm.  
  
"Let me see that." Hiro said, suddenly at Wufei's side, gesturing at Wufei's hand. Wufei grudgingly allowed Hiro to inspect his palm. After all, Hiro wasn't known for being gentle with wounds...  
  
"Uh...don't yank it out or anything..." Wufei said, belatedly.   
  
"I already did." Hiro said, showing the piece of porcelain to Wufei. Wufei was startled. 'Uhh...when did that happen? I didn't feel *anything*. Well, I felt Hiro poking around my hand...but, nothing that could constitute as removing a piece of plate.' Wufei thought, and then he started to flush slightly as he realized that Hiro still hadn't let go of his hand. As if on cue, Hiro let Wufei's hand drop down.   
  
"Are you injured anywhere else?" Hiro asked, looking pointedly at Wufei's leg. Wufei looked away, but nodded. He let Hiro explore the bandages that Wufei had hastily put over the cuts he had gotten from the day before. Hiro frowned at the numerous bruises, but all he did was change Wufei's bandages with more skill than Wufei had shown.  
  
"Umm...thanks." Wufei said, his face still a little warm from the close contact that had occurred with Hiro checking on his wounds. Hiro merely nodded. Wufei coughed nervously, and then stood up suddenly, Hiro backed away back to his seat.   
  
"I'll...go, get dressed." Wufei said, already half way to the bedroom. Hiro made a sound of agreement, and when he heard the door to the bedroom shut, he slapped himself.  
  
'HIRO YUI!! YOU BAKA. BAKA. BAKA. BAKA. BAKA. You should be shot. Killed. Murdered. Obliterated. Abolished. Destroyed.' Hiro went down the list of words that had to do with him departing from life quickly, finally stopping and taking a deep breath. 'What the hell was that? Why the *hell* am I suddenly *so* worried about Wufei, er, Chang. Even during the *war* I didn't care this much...in fact, I barely cared at all. Okay, yes, with the Preventer work that we both had to do, we got closer, and I'll have to admit, that he is a good partner...ACK. Wrong phrasing. Yeah, and I'll admit, that we are definitely friends, and I also have to admit that I'm glad that we are, but I refuse to adm-gah...to feel any...physical attraction, or otherwise, towards him.' Hiro was starting to blush even *thinking* about it. He had been a little *too* helping, if you know what I mean. If you don't, you have a horrible attention span and I'm afraid that you are going to have to re-read this entire chapter, possibly this entire fanfic. U_U  
  
Back in the bedroom, Wufei was contemplating what had happened. No, that's the wrong word. "Contemplating" is for calm, serious thinking that is at least mildly constructive. Wufei's thinking was none of those.  
  
'What the fucking shit was all that about? Since *when* does Yui care so much about a couple cuts, bruises, shards of thingies in my hand, etc?! He must be on drugs...very delusional, and mind-altering drugs. Yes. That is what it is. I refuse to believe that Yui is 1.A changed man or 2.He lik-er...no. I will *not* even *consider* that option. There is no way that it is possible. Yui's straight. Yes. Yui=straight. Straight. Straight.' A little voice that seems to follow people around and point out the weirdest things, said to Wufei that he sounded like he was in denial. 'I am *NOT* in denial. No. I'm not. If I was in denial, then I would be in denial. Which I'm not. So, hah. I'm not some sort of onna who jumps to conclusions. Yui is *straight*, and is on drugs.' Doesn't jump to conclusions? Since when is *Hiro* on drugs? The little voice said to Wufei, who made it into a chibi-Relena, and then smashed it with a giant hammer. 'I'm not jumping to conclusions. That's simply the only logical explanation.' Wufei said in his mind to the now Squashed-Flat-As-A-Pancake-That-Milly's-Mom-Makes-Chibi-Relena-Annoying-Voice-That-Tells-You-All-The-Things-That-You-Don't-Want-To-Hear.  
  
Taking a deep breath, to calm himself, Wufei waltzed over the closet with an air that said two things: 1. Wufei had just let loose some gas, and 2. He was obviously thinking 'Now that *that* is resolved. Although, in some ways, we don't necessarily know whether or not he was referring to the Hiro-Issue, the S-F-A-A-P-T-M-M-M-C-R-A-V-T-T-Y-A-T-T-T-Y-D-W-T-H, or the fart. So, pick one and let's move on. (Just so you know, I picked the Hiro-Issue, although the fart was in a close second, but that's just because the other one was too damn long.)  
  
Wufei's outfit was similar to Hiro's, but substantially different so it didn't look like they were dressing alike or anything freaky-odd. He had a dark maroon button-up T-shirt, with dark blue jeans that were on the baggy side this time. Wufei left the two top buttons undone, just for the hell of it. As he was looking in the mirror, checking his tight-ass ponytail, he could have *sworn* that he saw Duo's long braid. In fact, he did. Go figure.  
  
'I swear that I just saw Duo's long braid.' (See? What'd I tell you? If you can't remember, then just look up a couple of lines, you'll see it. I have complete faith in you. Well...sorta.) Wufei wrinkled his brow in confusion, because when he turned around, he saw nothing. Not a Shinagami in sight. Wufei narrowed his already narrow eyes, so really, you kinda have to wonder how he still saw out of them clearly, and scanned the room. Nothing.   
  
'Hmm...too bad he's not me, and me stripping off all my clothes really quick and then streaking around the room won't give him a nose-bleed from the sheer obscenity of the action, because then I would see the blood squirt out and find out where the suckers hiding.' Wufei thought regretfully. Even *thinking* about thinking about the act made him blush slightly. 'Tsuuu...the injustice of it all...' Wufei thought, walking back out to the living room. Unfortunately for Wufei, Hiro was entering the room at the time that Wufei was exiting. Did I fail to mention that Hiro pushed open the door and Wufei closed it?   
  
"Chang? Chang? Are you awake again?" Hiro asked, his voice barely rising enough to indicate that he was asking a question.  
  
"Whaaa?" Wufei managed to moan out. His head was killing him...much like he would like to do to the S-F-A-A-P-T-M-M-M-C-R-A-V-T-T-Y-A-T-T-T-Y-D-W-T-H, who was no longer squashed like a pancake that Milly's mom makes, so it's no just the: C-R-A-V-T-T-Y-A-T-T-T-Y-D-W-T-H, which, by the way, was screaming on and on about Hiro. Wufei was skillfully ignoring it.  
  
"Good. You're awake." Hiro said blandly, and he got out of the chair that he had been waiting in that he had dragged in from the kitchen after he realized that he had knocked Wufei thoroughly unconscious.   
  
"Whaaa?" Wufei repeated, his head throbbing and the C-R-A-V-T-T-Y-A-T-T-T-Y-D-W-T-H starting to wear away at his patience, which was already a *really* fuse anyways.  
  
"I knocked you out when I was entering the room and you were exiting. You had a nosebleed, why am I not surprised, and you also have a huge lump on your forehead. Sorry." Hiro said, ever so nonchalantly, as he picked the heavy chair up with one hand and carried it back to the kitchen. Wufei tried to absorb that, but the C-R-A-V-T-T-Y-A-T-T-T-Y-D-W-T-H was still getting in the way of his comprehension skills. So, finally, Wufei pulled out a GIANT boulder (the kind that I tend to use) and crushed the C-R-A-V-T-T-Y-A-T-T-T-Y-D-W-T-H again. Now it was the Crushed-Like-A-Little-But-Under-My-Shoe- Chibi-Relena-Annoying-Voice-That-Tells-You-All-The-Things-That-You-Don't-Want-To-Hear. It stayed quite for much longer this time. Which is a good thing, because writing those initials is giving my hands cramps. O_o Well, at least, it would if I wasn't both smart and lazy (oh, one has to wonder if that's a good combination or not) and using copy and paste. ^_^V  
  
"Yui?" Wufei asked groggily, sitting up.  
  
"Hn?"  
  
"What time is it?"   
  
"Eleven hundred hours." Hiro called from the other room. 'It's only 11:00am? Wow...then, we still have the whole day left. Good.' Wufei thought with satisfaction. It was never good to disobey orders from Duo, especially if he was watching you somehow.  
  
"Here. What can we do today?" Hiro said, coming back into the bedroom with the list. He seemed as if he was glaring at Wufei, but Wufei being the intelligent (oh, don't leave out S-E-X-Y) creature that he is, recognized that as Hiro's "this is my all purpose expression, possibly my only expression" face. All it meant was that Hiro was just looking at Wufei blankly. Intelligent-Wufei took the list from Hiro, who sat down on the bed, making Wufei flush slightly, and Wufei glanced it over.  
  
"Well, we have some requirements to meet today. Like #5 for instance."  
  
"Which one is that?" Hiro asked, carefully choosing not to lean towards Wufei to see the list. Wufei was grateful that Hiro knew him at least *that* well. God knows how many nosebleeds he had suffered from when they first starting working together. Duo had gotten Hiro into the habit of being close to people, and it had at first made Wufei *VERY* uncomfortable. In fact, it still did.   
  
"'Hold hands at least two hours a day starting the third day'." Wufei quoted the list. "Also, it would be good to get in #2 as well. 'Eat dinner in at least TWO fancy restaurants'." Wufei said, even before Hiro posed the question.  
  
"All right. Then, let's just get #5 over right here." Hiro said stoicly, holding out his hand. Wufei blushed and stuttered his next statement.  
  
"W-what? Here? N-now?" Wufei looked at Hiro like he was either going to deck Hiro (suicide in some respects) or run away and hide (in other words, pull a Duo). Hiro glared genuinely at Wufei now.  
  
"Would you rather have the entire world see us and have them thinking thoughts that I would personally prefer to *not* have them think. But, if that's what you *do* want them to think..." Hiro left off, shrugging, still not removing his outstretched hand.  
  
"NO! I mean, no. That's fine." Wufei said, and after collecting himself, he put his hand with great dignity onto Hiro's. Hiro closed his hand, and now, they were effectively holding hands. Hiro clicked the "go" button on the stopwatch he had with him.  
  
"Where did you get that?"   
  
"It was in the packaged Duo left for the two weeks. I'm sure he guessed that we would be the kind of people who stick to the rules, and not go any less or any more." Hiro said, completely and absolutely ignoring the not-so-small feeling of regret when he said "no more". So, he doesn't really know he just felt like that. But, we do. That's cause I'm writing this, and I'm foreshadowing stuff, and in order to foreshadow properly, I need to write stuff that maybe the *characters* don't know, but we do. In some ways, I'm just as bad as the C-L-A-L-B-U-M-S-C-R-A-V-T-T-Y-A-T-T-T-Y-D-W-T-H. ^_^  
  
"Uh...right. Anyways, um, come with me." Wufei said, getting out of the bed and walking to the kitchen. 'I'll make lunch...that is a nice and safe distraction. Yes. Not that I need one. I'm not affected *at all* by holding Yui's hand. No. See? I'm not in any of this "denial" crap.'  
  
"I really don't have much of a choice, Chang." Hiro said, arching his eyebrow slightly, hold up their linked hands.  
  
"I...ehe...*ahem* knew that." Wufei said, averting his face away from Hiro's, as the C-L-A-L-B-U-M-S-C-R-A-V-T-T-Y-A-T-T-T-Y-D-W-T-H stirred within the depths of his mind. Luckily it was still squashed like a little bug under my shoe, and so it didn't make a clear comment, just did that whole "oooohhh...I'm a stirring   
C-L-A-L-B-U-M-S-C-R-A-V-T-T-Y-A-T-T-T-Y-D-W-T-H, so, you better watch what you're thinking pal", which Wufei ignored. Not completely though, because that would as stupid as decking Hiro or letting Duo go without some action for a week.  
  
"What are you doing?" Hiro asked quietly as Wufei led him into the kitchen.  
  
"Making lunch." Wufei said, busying himself at the stove with his right hand, since his left was glued to Hiro's right.  
  
"I'll help." Hiro offered.  
  
"NO! I mean, maybe you shouldn't." Wufei said, remembering the *last* cooking "experience" that he had had with Hiro. Ohh, the memories were frightening enough.  
  
"I can still help you get things together. I won't cook anything. Unless it's water. That I can do." Hiro let a teeny, itsy, bitsy smile slip through the stoic glare expression, showing that he was making a small joke. Wufei snorted.  
  
"All right. Get that pot out, while I get these pans." Wufei ordered, and amazingly, Hiro complied without even a glace at Wufei for the commanding tone. 'Yep. Drugs.'  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Meanwhile...in an entirely different hotel, in a different place, two *other* men were facing a similar situation. I'm sure you can guess who they are. Whether or not you're right is completely up to how intelligent you are. (Quatre and Trowa people, Quatre and Trowa.) Now, for this story to make sense, let's flashback a week...in the next chapter. ^_~ 


	4. Games

Pairings: 1x5, 3x4, 2xYuu  
  
Warnings: Yaoi, fluffiness, swearing, just plain ol' weirdness  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Notes: Be prepared to be scared...  
  
Disclaimer: Me poor Chibi. Me no afford Good Charlotte CD. Chibi sad. So, in other words: I don't own Gundam Wing (cause then I could sell the G-boys that I'm not *totally* in wub with for a lot of money to people like yourselves), nor am I making any money off this. Now, me technically own my fic. Go figure. So, no steal. If steal, be bad. Hate you forever. -_-*  
  
'Think' (or at least try. :P)  
"Talk" (unless you're Duo...in which case, perhaps it better if you don't, safer that way...)  
~~~Time passes~~~ (oh, that it does...)  
***Flash back*** (Wufei's song...oh so nice...)  
  
###############################################################  
  
"He's already in there. He arrived early." Yuu said, trying to be encouraging. Quatre looked at Yuu with giant, sparkly blue eyes, and a pleading look in his eyes.  
  
"Um...did he look happy, or not?" Quatre asked, trying to make it seem like he was just asking for the hell of it. Yep. He doesn't *really* like Trowa...or anything. Right. Just like Wufei is *not* in denial.  
  
"He looked like Trowa, Quatre. Go on. He won't bite, promise." Yuu said, winking darkly. Quatre gulped, his throat tightening at the thought of Trowa biting him...in...ah...places. O_o  
  
"O-Okay." Quatre said, steeling himself for seeing Trowa again, after an entire year and a half of no contact.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Hey Trowa! Long time no see!" Quatre said, bubbly and happy. Trowa turned around, and Quatre gasped slightly, his polite training keeping him from dropping his jaw to the ground like a *certain* other male. O_o Trowa had cut his hair, and his hairstyle resembled Hiro's now. His bright green eyes seemed to have only gotten more and more green as the years had passed, and Trowa *definitely* had a tan. Oh yeah. He looked *very* nice sitting there on that couch without a shirt on. Hold on a sec, there. Let's re-cap. "No shirt on?" Oh...oh, that could be fun.   
  
"Quatre." Trowa said, his voice barely changing to indicate that he acknowledged Quatre's presence.  
  
"You cut your hair!" Trowa just looked at Quatre, which is just like saying "Yeah, I was *kinda* there when they did it, you know". But this is Trowa, and he is a man of few words. Very few. In fact, he actually might have a self-imposed limit to the amount of words he's allowed to say in one day. Like, no more than 10 or something. So far, he has said two: "Thanks." To Yuu, and "Quatre" to, well, Quatre. You were here for that one. Unless you Pulled A Milly, and just skipped over that.  
  
"It looks very nice." Quatre said politely. Trowa looked at him. Now, for our convenience, since we are not Quatre and *cannot* read Trowa like a book, I'll translate in parenthesis, okies? Okies. Let's go. Oh, just so you know, Trowa's look said: (Thanks.)  
  
"So...where should I put my stuff?" Quatre asked Trowa. Trowa looked towards a door. (Over there is where I put my stuff, you can do the same.)  
  
"Thanks." Quatre said, walking by Trowa and his position on the couch to the door that was the bedroom. It was a nice suite, the bed was spacious and the room commodious as well. Enough room for two young men, especially two 21-year-olds. Duo had been more considerate of Quatre's need for privacy, and Trowa's for space, than he had been with Wufei and Hiro.   
  
"What do you want to do today?" Trowa asked, startling Quatre, who didn't know that Trowa had followed him. (Oh boy, approaching the limit here, that's 9 words so far...)  
  
"Well...I'd actually just like to get accommodated. That is, if that's all right with you." Quatre added, blushing. He didn't want to boss Trowa around, that would be rude. Trowa looked at Quatre. (Hey, it's your life too, do what you want. If you need me, I'll be in the living room staring into space.) Quatre watched as Trowa started to walk out of the room, then, biting his lip, he decided that he and Trowa could find *something* to do.  
  
"Hey Trowa, do you want to play a board game?" Quatre said, or well, he would have if he had gotten to finish his sentence, he never got past the "Hey Trowa, do-" because he had forgotten that he had dropped the tiny duffle bag that he had brought with him behind him and when he walked forward suddenly he tripped over it. And landed head first into Trowa's wanna-be-an-ass-but-isn't.  
  
"MMPHH!" Quatre tried to say "SORRY" but it didn't come out well, with his head on Trowa's wanna-be-an-ass-but-isn't. Trowa propped himself on his elbows, since now they were both on the floor (Quatre had taken Trowa down with him when he tripped and fell). Quatre hurriedly got his face off a place that was never meant for his face, and scurried away on all fours. Then, ten feet away from Trowa, and hiding behind the bed, he tried to talk again, blushing almost as bad as Chirstmas-Tree-Lightbulb-Wufei.  
  
"I'm so sorry Trowa! Please forgive me! It was an accident!" Quatre said. Trowa got up and walked over to Quatre.   
  
"What were you going to say?" Trowa said, feeling a little nervous about going over his limit, but he didn't know how to convey that thought in a glance.  
  
"What?" Quatre asked, still a very interesting shade of scarlet, and Trowa frowned. He was *way* overtaxing his words-a-day limit, and he was getting that weird feeling you get when you try and break a habit you're had your entire life.  
  
"You were going to say something before you...tripped." Quatre blushed an even deeper red and rolled himself into a little ball.  
  
"Oh, I was going to ask if you wanted to play a board game or something." Little-ball-Quatre squeaked out, getting redder and redder until even the stoic Trowa raised his eyebrow. He hadn't known that humans could get that red and not explode, but then again, he hadn't spent much time around Wufei.  
  
"No." Trowa said, walking away. Little-ball-Quatre looked up shocked, he hadn't really thought that Trowa would say no. Then he rolled into a tighter ball. So now he's Basketball-Quatre.  
  
"Sorry..." Basketball-Quatre whispered. Trowa with his super-human hearing heard it all the way across the room. His little voice within was a miniature Dorothy, because he thought that she was the most annoying thing. Chibi-Dorothy-Annoying-Voice-That-Tells-You-All-The-Things-That-You-Don't-Want-To-Hear scolded Trowa for making Quatre feel bad, after all, Quatre had been kind enough to touch his wanna-be-an-ass-but-is-just-simply-not-there, and he should either repay the favor or play a board game with him. Trowa looked at the C-D-A-V-T-T-Y-A-T-T-T-Y-D-W-T-H. (But, I don't know how to play any board games. He wouldn't want to have to explain everything to me.) The C-D-A-V-T-T-Y-A-T-T-T-Y-D-W-T-H shook it's little blond head, and wiggled it's oh-so-very-very-creepy-freaky-odd-eyebrows at Trowa saying 'How do you know? Quatre's a nice guy. He'll help you out.'  
  
"Don't be." Trowa said, demolishing the C-D-A-V-T-T-Y-A-T-T-T-Y-D-W-T-H with a Chibi Heavy Arms that he piloted within his head.  
  
"No, I was completely out of line. Please, go on. I'll just stay here for a while." Quatre said, trying to smile up at Trowa, but he ended up smiling at Trowa's chest because he just *couldn't* meet Trowa's eyes. (Now, personally, I would be smiling at Trowa's naked chest for a totally *different* reason, but, hey, that is just me.) Trowa crouched down.  
  
"Duo's list says that we have to always be in the same room, unless we're showering, then it's optional. So, I can't really go anywhere without you. Also, the only reason I don't want to play a board game is because I have never played one before and I have no idea how to play one." Trowa said, nearly twitching with the effort of going so very far past his limit. He was however rewarded when Quatre brightened considerably and stood up lighting fast.  
  
"I'll show you! I'm good at teaching how to play games! It comes from have so many older sisters." Quatre said by way of explanation. Trowa looked at Quatre and got up from his position on the ground more slowly. (Oh. All right then, I'll let you teach me.)  
  
"YAY! Let's go!" Quatre said, grabbing Trowa's hand subconsciously. However, Trowa was a stoic rock and when Quatre's forward thrust of motion met with Trowa's unmoving tug, he was snapped back and hit Trowa's hard chest.   
  
"OW!" Quatre said, releasing Trowa's hand and using it to rub his nose. 'That hurt. Since when does Trowa work out so much?' Quatre thought, marveling at how tight Trowa's chest and stomach were, without looking at him directly. Then, he felt vaguely sad that he wasn't the same; he had been forced to give up his athletic time when his business had picked up. 'Now, there isn't even a chance that he would be attracted to me...' Quatre thought forlornly, but he brightened when he remembered the board games. He had brought some for the long car ride to the hotel. Rashid was a horrible opponent though, because even though he swore that he wasn't letting Quatre win on purpose, there had to *some* sort of explanation as to why Quatre *always* won.  
  
"Let's go!" Quatre said, grabbing his duffel bag and going back into the living room. Trowa followed silently.  
  
The first game that Quatre pulled out was Candy Land, so they played that. At first, Trowa seemed as if he was purposefully making things difficult for Quatre, because he asked so many damn "whys". However, after the game really got started, Trowa proved that he could even form a strategy for Candy Land. While they played, Quatre asked Trowa questions about his life.   
  
"So, are you still in the circus?" Quatre asked, going to a blue square, passing Trowa. Trowa shook his head.  
  
"Is Catherine?" Another no.  
  
"Are you living in a house?" (No.)  
  
"An apartment?" (Yes.)  
  
"Are you seeing anyone?" (Hell no.)  
  
"Have you been out on any dates lately? Good or otherwise?" (No.)  
  
"I have, actually. All of them but one has been horrible!" Quatre said, remembering the bad-dates that he had had within the past six months. That was all he could remember, because he had scoured the rest out of his mind very thoroughly. Trowa looked up from the board to look at Quatre. (Keep going.)  
  
"Well, the one that was good, was...well...her name was 'Milly'. We went out to this local mall, and just hung out all day. It was nice, in a way. Oh, we got pictures taken! See?" Quatre said taking out his wallet and fishing out a tiny picture booth photo. Trowa looked at it quickly and passed Quatre through the Lollypop Forest.  
  
'So...he *is* straight. Go figure. Oh well. Not like I ever had a chance either way.' Trowa thought as he drew a red square card.  
  
"Yeah, anyways. Have you seen any of the other guys lately?" (Yes.)  
  
"Oh, I mean, before all of...this." Quatre clarified, his cheeks getting a little brighter. (Yes.)  
  
"Oh. Was it Duo?" (Yes.)  
  
"How about Hiro?" (Yes.)  
  
"Wufei?" (Not really.)  
  
"Oh...well, I know that I haven't seen you in, what, a year or so?" Quatre said, taking the lead once again. (Yes.)  
  
"Um...so...are you working?" (Yes.)  
  
"As a laborer?" (Yes.)  
  
"I thought so, that would explain your tan, huh?" Quatre said smiling, as Trowa passed him again. (Hn.)  
  
"I've been really busy myself. I'm afraid I may have gotten whiter from staying indoors so much." Quatre said, holding out his arms for examination. (Yes, you have.)  
  
"Um...is there anything that you want to ask me?" (Yes.)  
  
"Am I still working at WEI?" (Yes.)  
  
"Yes I am. Am I also living alone in an apartment?" (Yes.)  
  
"No, I'm not living in an apartment. I have too many houses as it is. Do I have any more of these games?" (Yes.)  
  
"Yes, I do. Do you want to play more after you beat me at this?" Quatre asked, watching as Trowa took a very distinctive lead, only eight spaces away from winning. (Yes.)  
  
"Okay. How does Checkers sound?" (Sure...what is this alluded "Checkers" that you speak of though?)  
  
"Oh, Checkers is...well, I'll explain it when we get there, okay?" (Fine.)  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Trowa...it's 11:00pm already. No more games...please..." Quatre begged, Trowa looking up, almost pleadingly. (One more game, that's it. I swear. Just one.)  
  
"Oh, fine. *One* more, and that's all! Okay?" Quatre conceded. (Yay.)  
  
"Which one?" Quatre asked wearily, trying to push some sort of enthusiasm into his voice. Trowa pointed, and Quatre frowned. Twister, Travel Size.  
  
"Trowa, we can't really play that, you need at least 3 players to play it well." (Why?)  
  
"Well, because one person has to spin the Spinner, and the other two get to play on the mat." (Can't we just both be on the mat and spin it with one hand?)  
  
"Well...we could...I guess..." Quatre said, dubiously. 'This takes so much effort though...and I'm so very tired.'  
  
"Okay...right hand yellow." (What?)  
  
"See how the pointer is pointing to the right hand section and the yellow dot? That means 'Right hand on the yellow dot'. See, put your right hand like so." (Oh. Gotcha.)  
  
"Okay, and...left hand yellow." (This is so easy.)  
  
"Just wait. Left foot yellow." (We're running out of yellow.)  
  
"Right hand blue." (I thought it was on yellow?)  
  
"It changes throughout the game. That's why it's tricky staying upright. Okay, now...left hand green." (Hmm...easy.)  
  
"Right foot red." (I don't know if I bend that way...oh, no, I do.)  
  
"I don't know if *I* do though!" Quatre said, swaying as he struggled to reach to the other side of the mat. (Hmph.)  
  
"Okay...right hand yellow." (Interesting...)  
  
"Left foot red." (More interesting.)  
  
"Right foot green." (I know I don't bend that way...oh, no, never mind. I do.)  
  
"Left hand red." (Hn.)  
  
"Right hand green." (Right. Now...how do I do *that*)  
  
"Like...this. Hah. Okay, left foot yellow. Ack, Trowa, move." (No. This is too difficult already. Okay, fine. Jeez. No need to get pushy.)  
  
"Right foot red. Ack. The only one that I can reach to bend that way is...this one." (Hm...I feel vaguely like a pretzel.)  
  
"HAHA! You look like one! Anyways, hmm..." (What?) "It's left foot green." (Ah. Interesting.) Trowa watched as now half of Quatre's body was under his.  
  
"Okay...and...oh, no. Right foot red." (Hmmm...I don't bend that way. ACK! Don't *make* me bend that way! OW. Fine. Jeez...)  
  
"...!"  
  
"I'm sorry, but move it or lose it pal." Quatre said, looking at Trowa between his legs. Then, as he lifted one hand to spin the Spinner, Trowa lost his grip on his left side and fell on top of Quatre, and Quatre cracked up at Trowa's expression.  
  
"..." (All this vaguely amuses me...)  
  
"HAHAHAA!! Need...to...breathe!" Quatre gasped out. Quatre was lying with his back to the mat, and Trowa was now supporting himself above Quatre on his hands and knees. He looked down at the hysterical Quatre, and almost without knowledge of what he was doing; he picked up his left hand and put it on the circle beneath Quatre's head, which was a blue circle. He was now, in effect, holding Quatre's head. He lowered himself slowly down onto the now serious Quatre, giving Quatre plenty of time to say no. Quatre just looked Trowa in the eyes unblinking.   
  
"Left hand blue." Trowa whispered, mere inches away from Quatre now. Quatre closed his eyes.  
  
"Trowa face blue." Trowa said, and a slight smile crossed Quatre's features just as Trowa's mouth descended upon his own.  
  
###############################################################  
  
Hehehe...awww...how sweet. Not as funny as Wufei and Hiro, but they are sweet together. Yayness. Let's keep going, people.  
  
~*ATHENA*~ 


	5. Dirty Jokes

Pairings: 1x5, 3x4, 2xYuu  
  
Warnings: Yaoi, fluffiness, swearing, just plain ol' weirdness  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Notes: Be prepared to be scared...  
  
Disclaimer: Me poor Chibi. Me no afford Good Charlotte CD. Chibi sad. So, in other words: I don't own Gundam Wing (cause then I could sell the G-boys that I'm not *totally* in wub with for a lot of money to people like yourselves), nor am I making any money off this. Now, me technically own my fic. Go figure. So, no steal. If steal, be bad. Hate you forever. -_-*  
  
'Think'   
"Talk"   
~~~Time passes~~~   
***Flash back***   
  
###############################################################  
  
"So...um...about last night..." Quatre said, vaguely uncomfortable.  
  
"Hey...I understand, it was your first time." Trowa said nonchalantly and understanding, waving his hand back and forth.  
  
"GACK! THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT!!!" Quatre said, outshining even Christmas-Light-Wufei.  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Jeezus Kraighst...I just wanted to say..." Quatre trailed off. (What? Come on, out with it. Literally.)  
  
"That's not funny Trowa!" Quatre said, getting so red in the face that even Trowa Barton, the emotionless bastard, frowned in concern. (Don't blow up on me! Hehehe..."blow" up.) Catching the look on Quatre's face, Trowa held up his hands. (Okay, okay. I'll stop with the sex jokes...geez...)  
  
"Look...I never really got a chance to tell you last night...but...well...I want you to understand that...well...I've loved you for a very long time. And...if...well...I don't want to sound like a brat...but...if you don't love me...then...I..." Quatre never finished, because Trowa silenced him with a kiss.  
  
"For me, the act and the emotion go hand in hand Quatre. If I didn't love you then you wouldn't see me here, I wouldn't have came here." Trowa hugged Quatre to his naked chest. "Don't ever doubt my love for you...or I'll self-destruct. You know how I get when I have no more ammo left." Trowa said, and Quatre giggled.  
  
"Trowa..." (What?! WHAT?! It's true isn't it?) "Still...don't be so goofy. It's supposed to be a SERIOUS moment." (Bah. I'm already too serious. Look what happens when you're so serious! Look! I have no ass!!!!)  
  
Quatre's laughter echoed off the wall for many a moments  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"So...what do you want to do on the list?" (How about number 10 again? That was fun...)  
  
"GACK! TROWA! Stop with the dirty jokes!!" (Okay...okay...I'll try.)  
  
LIST:  
1. Eat out at a restaurant at least five days  
2. Go to an amusement park for two days  
3. Go see a lovey-dovey concert  
4. Kiss as often as possible  
5. Hold hands  
6. Sleep in the same bed all nights  
7. Go see a coupla movies  
8. Talk for at least 4 hours a day (I know I'm asking a lot Trowa)  
9. Go to a coupla clubs and stuff  
10. Do IT. At LEAST once. Maybe twice...come on...you KNOW you want to...yes you do...I am not being rude Yuu! No I'm not! HEY! Why is this thing typing what I'm saying? HEY! You know what, I'm just going to shut up then.........it's even putting my dot dot dots on it! DAMN IT!!!! YUU!!!!!  
  
"That's funny! Poor Duo!" Quatre said, laughing so hard that tears came to his eyes. (Remind me not to eat or drink when presented with something written by Duo.)  
  
"Yes...so...what will we do." (I'm still all for number 10 again...but, #4's looking good too...)  
  
"TROWA!" (Okay...fine...prude. How about we do number 1? I'm hungry...)  
  
"Okay. Where do you want to go?" (Dude...I would have thought you'd have picked up on it by now: #6.)  
  
"TROOOOOOOWWWWWAAAAAA!!!!" (GACK! OKAY! That was the last one! I swear! Well...for today anyways...)  
  
"HEY! I read that!" (Oh...shit. Ah well. Whatever. I'll make up for it, I promise.) Trowa "said" nibbling on Quatre's earlobe.  
  
"Hehehehehe...ACK! No! Stop it! We have to be serious!" (Why? I showed you what happens when you're too serious...your butt melts away...)  
  
"Hehehe...No. Must be serious! Okay then...let's go to a restaurant nearby. Okay?" (Okay...) Trowa said, hugging Quatre and letting his hands slip downwards. (I see you haven't been too serious...) Trowa said, squeezing *something*. ^_~  
  
"EEP! TROWA!!!!" Quatre screamed out, and chased a chibified Trowa around the room with a giant hammer. "You PERVERT!!!"  
  
"Hehehehehehe...." Trowa...er...chuckled? as he ran around the room.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Quatre...everyone's staring." Trowa said, as he glared at the heterosexual couple at the bar and gripped Quatre's waist even firmer. (Oh, you gotta problem with this you freaky line-thingies?? HUH??? HUH?!?!? Don't make me bust out my chibi-heavy-arms!!!)  
  
"Trowa...they can't read your eyes..." Quatre whispered, trying hard not to crack up randomly. (Oh...right. Ah well. I guess I'll have to amuse myself by once again destroying the C-D-A-V-T-T-Y-A-T-T-T-Y-D-W-T-H...)  
  
"What?" Quatre whispered. Trowa tugged playfully at Quatre's hair, although, he didn't smile, so only Quatre knew he was doing it playfully. (Never mind. It's a long story and it will only increase your confusion.)  
  
"Oh...okay. Oh, there's the waitress." Their waitress came up to them smiling hugely. (Oh my god...the waitress looks like she's going to explode...)  
  
"HELLO!" The waitress said loudly. "My name's Mina! I'm here to serve you food! YAY! You ARE a couple, right?" Mina said eagerly.  
  
"Yeah..." Quatre said, vaguely frightened.  
  
"WHEE! You guys are so cute! Not as cute as Duo and Hiro, but still very cute together!"  
  
"What?" Quatre said, not sure that he heard the girl right. (Is she high or something?)  
  
"Never mind." Mina said evilly, "May I take your order please?"  
  
"Sure..." Quatre said, still a little afraid of the Afghani-black-haired-waitress...I would be too...even though I'm writing this fic and therefore theoretically have control over all the characters within...theoretically mind you.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
(So...full...gonna...die...happily...) Trowa "said".   
  
"Yeah...I'm not surprised. After eating an appetizer of onion rings, then your salad, a 20oz. Steak, mashed potatoes, broccli, the rest of my chicken, and then two sides of desert, I'm surprised you're still breathing."  
  
(I'm not...I'm still vaguely hungry...but, to me, that's full.)  
  
"You're a freak. I'm in love with a freak." Quatre said, jokingly serious.  
  
"Yes. Well...maybe." (Maybe I'm normal and YOU'RE the freak. It's possible. I saw it in a movie once.)  
  
"Heehee...maybe. Uh-oh. Not good. Here comes that waitress again..."  
  
(She scares me...)  
  
"She reminds me of Milly..."  
  
"Hey guys, wassup? I heard the name Milly? Do you know Milly? Milly Martinez?"  
  
"Yeah...I dated her...but it didn't work out."   
  
"Well DUR. If your gay, it's a little hard to date a Milly, but not THAT hard. Just hard." Trowa burst out laughing...actually, he went "ha", which is the equivolent of busting out the laughing for Da Trowa Dude. (HARD...hard to get HARD around a Milly if you're gay!!! HHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!)  
  
"TROWA!! YOU SWORE!!" (I lied. I'm not Duo, I can do that.)  
  
"Um...yeah...I had to come and tell you that we're closing. I'm sorry." Mina said, all sad and depressing like, since now the cute widdle couple was leaving. They were so K-A-W-A-I-I together! Being all social...well...okay, Quatre would ask questions and read it off Trowa, then Trowa would ask questions Trowa style and Quatre would either start laughing or answer.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~back in the hotel room~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"So...Trowa, I meant to ask earlier, how DID Duo get you to agree."  
  
"It's a long story. And I've already broken my 10-words-a-day-limit to pieces, thank you very much." (I'm not talking anymore today. All this outloud talking has tired me out...look, I'm all sleepy now. I think that we need to go to BED...if you're getting my drift.)  
  
"Bah. You sex-fiend." (So?)  
  
"GACK." (Don't make me bust out my Chibis. They can really do damage.) Trowa walked forward with his arms open. (Come on...like Duo said, you KNOW you want to...)  
  
"AH! It's an insatiable Trowa! RUN AWAY WIDDLE QUATRE RUN AWAY!!!" Quatre teased as he ran away from Trowa, chibi. Trowa focused and went chibi, then proceeded to chase Quatre.  
  
(How come I don't get a hammer?!? What's up with that?) I'm sorry Trowa, but I've already used a hammer too much...I have to start being more originall. Here. Have a glass of water. (What the hell can I do with a glass of water?!?!) Uh...wet-T-shirt-effect? ^-^V Quatre IS wearing a white T-shirt, you know. (Oh...oh this can be too fun...)  
  
"AAHHHHHHH!!! COLD COLD COLD COLD!!!" Quatre yelped as the cold water hit him. (More water please...) No problem.   
  
"AHH! TROWA! WHY YOU HIT CHIBI QUATRE WITH COLD WATER?!?!"  
  
(Wet-T-Shirt-Effect...)  
  
"Oh...hehehehe...can I have some water too?" But...I said I was going to be more oringinal. "I'll de-chibify!" Oh...how sad...okay. Here you go.   
  
"GAH!" Trowa shouted as the cold water hit him. He threw his water at Quatre.  
  
"AH! WHY IS IT ICE WATER!?!?!" Well...cause...uh...I dunno.  
  
(Hey...I think we need to warm up...what do you say we take a nice hot BATH?) Trowa grinned at Quatre...well, his mouth twitched, but same thing.  
  
"Hehehehehe..." That was all that Quatre said as he followed Trowa into the bathroom. I didn't follow cause this is only a PG-13 fic, and that's DEFINITELY NOT PG-13 in there...so, I guess I'll have to end this here...how sad. It's only 5 pages. Ah well. You'll live. Stick around!  
  
~*ATHENA*~ 


	6. Let's Recap!

Pairings: 1x5, 3x4, 2xYuu  
  
Warnings: Shounen ai, my twisted sense of humor, Trowa, Duo, etc...  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Notes: Please, for your own sake, don't eat or drink while reading these, unless you have no sense of humor or great control over your mouth. I have seen enough food/drink-encrusted screens for one lifetime thank you.  
  
Disclaimer: Chibi own GW=NONONONO Chibi own fanfic=YESYESYES Chibi own Yuu-utsu=YESYESYES  
  
'Think'   
"Talk"   
~~~Time passes~~~   
***Flash back***   
  
###############################################################  
  
"This Shinagami speaking...come in Depression." The young man in all black, with a braid down to his knees said into a walkie-talkie, the shadows from the building casting a mask over the top half of his face.  
  
"Duo...I'm right here." Yuu said, raising her eyebrow at Duo as she came up behind him.  
  
"Aww...come on Yuu! Use the code names...they're fun!" Duo whined at Yuu as she turned on the light, revealing who Duo was. (He's Duo by the way, if you didn't catch that one.)  
  
"Duo, I am NOT using those nicknames." Yuu said firmly, as she came up and gave Duo a big hug and a kiss.  
  
"Mmm..." Duo murmured.  
  
"What?" Yuu said, pulling away from their lip lock.  
  
"No..." Duo said and pulled Yuu back.  
  
"Oh..." Duo reached up and undid Yuu-utsu's long red hair from its prison of a ponytail. Yuu clamped her arms firmly behind Duo's back and let her body wash over his like a wave upon a rocky shore as they fell to the ground. Duo smirked.  
  
~~~~~~~~20 Minutes later~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Okay, now that that's done..." Yuu said, standing up and gathering her scattered clothes.  
  
"Hey! Don't make it sound like you didn't have fun!" Duo grinned manically; Yuu raised an eyebrow sardonically and threw Duo's pants at him.  
  
"Now, about my assignment. I want to switch. You're right...Trowa and Quatre ARE boring beyond all reasoning. They don't DO anything. They're just full of sickening gooey sweetness...it's just...ugh. Too cute." Yuu said, disgusted. Duo couldn't contain himself, and he exploded with laughter.  
  
"HAHAHAHA! I TOLD YOU!" Duo said, rolling around on the ground. "You should see Wufei and Hiro! They're hilarious together. Although, Wufei almost caught me...I was a little too careless." Yuu tugged on Duo's braid.  
  
"Please...for the love of nightly activities...let me switch."  
  
"Nightly activities?"   
  
"Remember, this is the censored FFN version."  
  
"Oh...yeah, right. Sorry, forgot for a while."  
  
"Well, you should be more careful! You're such a moron at times...I don't know why I'm even with you."  
  
"Because you LOOOOOOOVE me." Duo licked his lips seductively. Yuu-utsu snorted.  
  
"HEY! Don't make me glomp you!" Duo grinned, latched onto Yuu's legs, pulled her to the ground and proceeded to transform into Starfish-Duo.  
  
"Duo...I...require...air...to...LIVE..." Yuu struggled out as Duo cut off her oxygen supply.  
  
"Oh...hehehehehe...sorry! EEP! Don't kill me!!!!" Duo said as Yuu death glared him and pulled out four throwing knives from various places in her body.  
  
"...If you switch with me I won't bite you." Yuu smiled wryly and spun one of her throwing daggers like a basketball. You know, I've always wanted to learn how to do that...one of these days I'm going to get someone to teach me and I'm gonna do it! YES! I will SPIN!!! SPIIIIN!!!! Yay...whee...I wish I was a spinning basketball, that would amuse me...^_^  
  
"HEY! Pay attention! You just totally missed me saying 'yes' to switching 'Fei and Hiro for Q-Tip and No-Ass." Oh...are you serious? *Looks at original script* by golly, you're right. Hehehe...I smell a flashback coming on!  
  
"Wait, what?" Yuu said, reading over the author's comments. Oh, I can just feel one coming. So, please, finish up here people. Chop chop.  
  
"Er..." Duo started. Okay, time's up.   
  
"Hey! Wait a second!" What? Look people, I've gotta move on.  
  
"Wait just a second." Duo said defiantly. Fine, but let's do this quickly. "Well, what do you say that we collaborate? You know, we'll scratch your back and you'll scratch ours." Er...why? "Well, it's more fun that way." But, you'll have to be MY lackeys, not vice versa. "Eh...well...Yuu, what do you think?"  
  
"I think this conversation shouldn't have been added."   
  
"But why not? Now we can be a bigger part of the story!" Duo exclaimed, waving his arms. Well, yeah, you can...I guess. And of course, I can help you out with keeping you generally free from weird accidents.  
  
"Wait a second. No weird accidents?" Yeah, that's what I said Yuu. "We'll do it."  
  
"YAY!" (They have NO idea what they're getting themselves into...^_^')  
  
***FLASH BACK THREE DAYS...(1st day of the 1st week)*** (Ha. I have a good nose...and a strange personality. O_o Is that a good combination?)  
  
"Duo, I want the easiest couple, I don't want to have to work at all at this." Yuu said as she flipped through a book, looking for her favorite part.  
  
"Well, Trowa is pretty hard to get around...but so is Hiro. So either way you're sorta gonna hafta work." Duo was lounging back in his chair, one of his legs thrown over one of the chair's arms, and hands hanging limply by his sides.   
  
"Then who's EASIER?" Yuu asked, glaring without raising her head so that she looked at Duo through her eyelashes.  
  
"Well...I guess Trowa and Quatre are easier..." Duo put one finger to his lips, as if in thought. He then smiled sweetly at Yuu, who rolled her eyes back to her book.  
  
"Fine, I'll take them." Yuu said nonchalantly.  
  
"Well, I should warn you though Yuu, they're REALLY boring. They'll probably end up getting together by the first day." (Man, is he psychic or something??)  
  
"Whatever..." Yuu said as she began to read the passage she was looking for. Duo considered for a moment the consequences of his next action, and decided to just go with it. Duo threw a dirty, spit encrusted sock at Yuu and ran away laughing as Yuu left her novel to chase Duo around the living room.   
  
"DUO!" Yuu yanked out a giant bazooka Chibi-Style and started firing at random like some sort of crazy mushroom that got a hold of a bazooka and had finally had enough of chewing on dead and rotting things.  
  
"Hehehehe....ACK ACK ACK ACK ACK ACK ACK ACK ACK ACK!" Duo exclaimed as the missles nearly hit him. His braid flying behind him like a lost snake with schizophrenia, Duo scampered from one room to the next in order to try to avoid Yuu-utsu's flying missle assault.  
  
"I'm going to get you back for that-GAH!" Yuu slamed right into Duo's chest as he stopped randomly in a doorway. Yuu's momentum made them fly into the kitchen counter and as Duo was about to hit the counter Yuu hurriedly shoved him away and hit the counter with full force in her gut.  
  
"AH!" Yuu said as the wind flew from her diaphram and out of her lungs. She gasped for breath and collapsed on the kitchen tile floor.  
  
"YUU!" Duo yelled out, they were just playing around. He hadn't meant for Yuu to get hurt! 'No, Yuu...geez, I'm such a moron. This is all my fault...'  
  
"Duo...I'm...fine..." Yuu gasped out. Duo fell onto Yuu's chest sobbing.  
  
"I'M SORRY!" Yuu rose an eyebrow and patted Duo's head awkwardly.  
  
"I'm...fine." Yuu said, still not breathing totally normally. Suddenly, Duo stopped crying, and swept Yuu of the floor. (Man, Duo's STRONG!)  
  
"I'll make it up to..." Duo said into Yuu's ear, and he nuzzled her neck. Even Yuu, who is always calm and collected, melted in Duo's arms. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him softly. Unfortunetly, this meant that Duo wasn't watching where he was going...  
  
"ACK." Yuu exclaimed as Duo walked her head into a wall. Oh, he's in trouble now. ^_^V  
  
***FLASH BACK A DAY BEFORE THAT***  
  
"Yes! I finally got it!" Duo slapped his hand down on his palm.  
  
"Got what?" Yuu asked, not really seeming to care. Duo scampered up to her chair, and sat on his knees directly in front of her, his body poised as if he were holding back the Hoover Dam with a band-aid.  
  
"I know how to get Wufei into this." Duo bounced his body to each and every word, which reminded Yuu vaguely of a cockatiel.   
  
"How?"  
  
"Remember how two years ago I threw that really big party?"  
  
"Yeah..." Yuu said, acting as if she were engrossed in the newspaper, although she was completely aware of every breath that Duo took.  
  
"Well, we played Truth-or-Dare, right?"  
  
"Uh-huh..."  
  
"Well, I challenged Wufei and he choose Truth, right?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
"And...he told me that he and ***** were ******* and **** in the **** with ******* *****, and even **************!" (FFN censored version)  
  
"HOLY SHIT!" (If I didn't censor that, you can imagine what I *had* to censor. O_o) Yuu exclaimed, blushing a bright red.  
  
"I know, I nearly passed out. Luckily, I had been drinking heavily that night and didn't care as much. There was more to it, but-"  
  
"DUO! DON'T GO THERE! Even *we* don't do that...and we've been married for two years now!"  
  
"I know...scary huh? So yeah, I blackmail him." Duo mentally ticked off the little chibi Wufei in his mind with an indelible ink pen, and promptly deleted the corresponding thing on his Things-To-Do-List.  
  
"I thought you were also blackmailing Trowa?" Yuu said, once again returning to her newspaper, permanently scarred with images of Wufei and ***** while they ******* in the **** in the **** with ******* *****, and a **************...oh, the horror! Yuu shuddered slightly from the mere memory of the memory.  
  
"I am! And Quatre...hehehe, they were the easiest to snare. All I had to do was blackmail them with revealing two tapes to the other one."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Well, I snuck into Trowa's apartment and hacked his computer. Then, when he came home, I sent him lots of p*rno with the main star always a blond-haired-blue-eyed male who at least resembled Quatre in some way. Then I taped his reactions. Then, when he went to sleep that night, I slipped him some sleeping pills, and gave him a blow-up doll. Hehehehe...then I taped that. And I threatened to send it to Quatre if he didn't agree to my plan. I hadn't even finished my sentence before he said okay. I still have the tapes. Wanna watch?" Duo wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. Yuu flushed and threw her newspaper at Duo.  
  
"You are a sick, sick, sick young man." Yuu shook her head disapprovingly.   
  
"HEY! Just because I'm bi!" Duo crossed his arms and held up his head high.  
  
"I'm bi too you moron." Yuu said, throwing her sock at Duo, which flew in a straight (hahaha, STRAIGHT) line into his mouth (it was open for protest of being a moron).  
  
"ARSHUAGOHSHS!!!" Duo exclaimed, and tried to claw the dirty sock out of his mouth quickly. (You know what I find amusing? The fact that spell-check doesn't find that that word wrong...it's actually a word of some sort...interesting...)  
  
"Hehehe..." Yuu let out a small laugh as Duo gagged, and made some of the most ridiculous faces, much like Milly does.  
  
"You...I'm going to get you back for that one..." Duo said, stuffing the sock into his voluminous pockets without Yuu noticing.  
  
"Yeah, yeah, yeah..." Yuu said, Duo grinned evilly.  
  
***Flash back another day***  
  
"Well, that settles Quatre." Duo put down the phone.  
  
"What did you do to him?" Hiro asked Duo. Hiro was staying with Duo and Yuu until Duo finished with the other men. Hiro had been the first to buckle, on the simple grounds that he owed Duo a huge favor when Duo had saved his life from Relena when he and Duo pretended to be gay. Well, Hiro pretended, Duo just acted like Duo. Without Duo's help, he would have been snagged into marriage to a now more-than-slightly-crazy Relena. The horror of it was almost as bad as Wufei and ***** while they ******* in the **** in the **** with ******* *****, and a **************. Almost.  
  
"Oh, just blackmailed him with the e-mails."  
  
"You are a scheming, conniving, evil Duo."  
  
"Hey. Only on Tuesdays." Hiro looked at his watch.  
  
"It is Tuesday."  
  
"Well then! I have an excuse." Duo stuck his tongue out at Hiro, who emotionlessly shrugged and left the room. Sometimes Duo gets to the point where he's had too much fun and needs to take it out on someone. Time to sic him on Yuu. No, you know what, Duo will probably seek out Yuu on his own today. 'One...two...and...three.' Hiro thought. On cue of three, Duo yelled out Yuu's name.  
  
"YUU-UTSU! YUU! WHERE ARE YOU, YUU?" Duo yelled gleefully as he pranced into the next room. Hiro shook his head.   
  
~~~~~In Hiro's Room~~~~~  
  
'It is so dangerous here...my life is in constant peril...ah well. Don't care. If I'm lucky, maybe I'll self-destruct randomly and won't have to go through with this...I can't believe that I'm partner...er...with...ack...I need a way of saying this that doesn't imply that we're lovers.' Hiro thought, not showing any outward signs of his thoughts. Let's see, how about, you can't believe that Duo stuck you with Wufei? 'That'll work. I can't believe that Duo stuck me with Chang. I can't believe it. It's not even like we have any feelings for each other or anything. It's just going to be an awkward two weeks that will probably mentally scar us for the rest of our lives. Hmm...could be interesting.' Hiro smiled that smile that he gives people before he tries to kill them.  
  
And so ends Hiro's monologue...speaking of Hiro and Wufei, let's move on back to our lovely Asian couple~~  
  
***First Week-Third Day-5:11pm (17:11pm)***  
  
"So...do you wish to eat out tonight, Yui?" Wufei asked, not looking up at Hiro.  
  
"Sure." Hiro said absent-mindedly. Wufei frowned, he really had a thing with passive people; they reminded him of weak women.  
  
"Where do you want to eat?" Wufei asked, his Chinese training allowing him to ask the question serenely and with patience.  
  
"Anywhere's fine." Hiro shrugged. Wufei snapped, as he is prone to do when aggravated.  
  
"YUI! What is with you, huh?! Can't you even assert yourself to this one problem?! You have a will, so use it! Don't just assume the role of a weak woman! Your attitude towards even this trivial situation is an injustice to your sex! Stand up for your opinions!" Wufei ranted, Hiro looked up. 'Wow...he looks like he's having fun. I wonder if that's really as fun as it looks...maybe I'll try it sometime. I'll probably freak people out though, I don't know if they could handle me showing that much emotion. I don't think *I* can handle showing that much emotion. Maybe I should just blow myself up? Hmm...that's always an option. Oh, woops. I missed most of Chang's rant. I hope I'm not just coming in at a weird place...my opinions? What? Oh, crap, he stopped...now I have to respond...wait! No I don't! I'm Yui Hiro! I can just blink and that's okay.' Hiro thought without emotion.  
  
"..." Hiro blinked at Wufei. Wufei took a deep breath and kept repeating to himself a warning to *not* slap Hiro, because he didn't have a death wish.  
  
"Yui, don't let me push you around. Look, don't go blabbing this to anyone..." Wufei cut himself short as Hiro lifted an eyebrow and looked at Wufei as if to say "And just *who* would I tell. Besides do I look like someone who tells *anyone* *anything*?"  
  
"And just *who* would I tell? Besides, do I look like someone who tells *anyone* *anything*?" Hiro said out loud. Go figure.  
  
"Well..." Wufei sat back down and stared at the table. "I know that I tend to be...bossy and...I've been called 'chauvinistic pig' enough times to understand that I have a problem with women and my past...and I also know that when I see anyone who's weak willed, I tend to snap. So, it just...well...it's hard to explain...I don't even know what I'm talking about." Wufei said angrily. "Just forget it!" Wufei stood up as if to leave, his face contorted in a snarl.  
  
"Wait." Hiro said, without any inflection in his voice. "Chang, sit back down." Wufei looked over his shoulder at Hiro dangerously, but did as he was told.   
  
"What do you think you're doing Yui, ordering me around, huh?" Wufei said angrily.  
  
"Listen. We're stuck in this together, all right? So, if I annoy you *that* much, then just tell me and we'll work something out. I had a crappy enough life already, and I'd prefer not to make an enemy of one of the few friends that I have." Wufei's jaw dropped.  
  
"Thit." Wufei exclaimed ('shit' for you simpler folk), and Hiro snorted.  
  
"How do you continue to do that?" Hiro asked, as Wufei shoved his jaw back into place.  
  
"I have no idea...more importantly, did you...er...call me a friend?"  
  
"That's what we are, right?" Hiro glared at Wufei, Wufei recognized the glare to be Hiro's general expression glare, and therefore, Hiro was hiding whatever emotion was plaguing him on the inside.  
  
"Well...sure."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Sure. I'll end it there. Now, this chapter wasn't as amusing for good reasons. I wanted to re-cap and show what was happening before we started this story. The next chapter is going to get even weirder.  
  
~*ATHENA*~ 


	7. When in Doubt Beware the Bed

Pairings: 1x5, 3x4, 2xYuu  
  
Warnings: Shounen ai, my twisted sense of humor, Trowa, Duo, etc...  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Notes: Please, for your own sake, don't eat or drink while reading these, unless you have no sense of humor or great control over your mouth. I have seen enough food/drink-encrusted screens for one lifetime thank you.  
  
Disclaimer: Chibi own GW=NONONONO Chibi own fanfic=YESYESYES Chibi own Yuu-utsu=YESYESYES  
  
'Think'   
"Talk"   
~~~Time passes~~~   
***Flash back***   
  
###############################################################  
  
"Excuse me, I'll be right back." Hiro excused himself from Wufei's presence, the air practically singing with tension. Neither had said anything since Wufei's affirmation to Hiro's question of friendship, and it had become decidedly awkward.   
  
'I feel like I'm back in school sitting in a history class and I've suddenly been presented with a pop-test that's worth 99.99% of my grade and it's on gummy bear flavors and their corresponding colors...' Wufei thought as he watched his "friend" Yui walk to the bathroom. As he silently smacked his forehead for such a bizarre thought, his ears perked up (think: Puppy Wu-wu) as he heard Hiro talking to himself as he entered the suite's restroom.  
  
"I can't beli-" That was all that Wufei heard before the door shut. 'I know I shouldn't listen in...he's probably having a conversation with himself, because he's stoned, like I've established...well...I'm not *really* eavesdropping...I'm just checking to make sure he's okay in there...' Wufei scurried, quietly mind you, up to the door and pressed his ear against the cold wood.  
  
"I really can't believe that I said that." Hiro's monotone voice was even and controlled, contrasting strangely with his words, kind of like you were peeling a banana and discovered that an orange was inside instead.  
  
"Wufei, I mean, Chang must think I'm a total freak. I can understand why though...I agree." Wufei could hear Hiro unzip his fly as he spoke, and, naturally, Wufei blushed. "I can't help but feel --------- towards him...he's just so --------------------" Hiro said, his words getting interrupted by his...well...pissing noises. Wufei crushed his nicely tanned, Chinese ear into the door, trying desperately to make out Hiro's voice. However, it seemed that every time that Hiro went to say something important, he would say it more quietly than the other words, so his...urine overcame his voice.  
  
"I...don't really want to ------------ him, but I think that I may...well...I may ---------- Chang...and ------- might have known that." Wufei was having a...well, "fun" might be too strong of a word, but let's just say that Wufei was playing "MadLib" with Hiro's sentences (you know, the game where it says to give it a noun, a verb, etc and then places those into a funny story?), and he was getting deeper and deeper red. 'I wanna know why the hell my mind's in the gutter today! I...I keep putting in dirty words, and such. I have to remember that Hiro is stoned out of his mind now and therefore may have some weird sentences...' Wufei thought, and suddenly he was thrown backwards three feet as the Chibi-Relena-Annoying-Voice-That-Tells-You-All-The-Things-That-You-Don't-Want-To-Hear whacked him so hard with a humongous Nerf-bat in his *mind* that it actually seemed to connect in real life. Wufei was blinking dazedly, as his head swam through chocolate milk. Why chocolate milk? ^_^ Because I LIKE IT.  
  
"Chang?" Hiro asked as he came out of the bathroom and Wufei staggered into him. "Are you stoned?"  
  
"Hehehehehehe...NAW! You're the one who's stoned!" Wufei said, like someone on a high. Hiro looked at the screen, his eyebrow raised, then he shook his head and looked down at the Wufei who was now sliding down his loose grip like a...a...really slippery thing. O_o  
  
"Right. Chang...I think you need to go lie down..." Hiro said slowly, pronouncing each word very slowly and carefully, as if Wufei were a foreigner.  
  
"Nononono...call me Wufei...Wu-man...Wu-baby...Fei...call me Dung-Beetle..." Wufei said, after slapping Hiro's face gently. Hiro felt two emotions stir within his mind. One was utter confusion, for he thought that Wufei must have broken *some* record for getting *so* stoned *so* quickly. The other was ****** ***** ******** ********** ***** ****. HEY!!!! How come it didn't print out!!!   
  
'I refuse to acknowledge that emotion. I don't have emotions. I am Hiro. Yui Hiro. No emotions. Perfect soldier.' Hiro repeated over and over in his head, while a Chibi...well...Chibi (O_o) smacked him...repeatedly.  
  
"All right, Wufei, you need to go lay down." Hiro grabbed Wufei's waist swiftly and threw him over his shoulder, like a Continental Soldier (do your ears hang low?)[1] and walked him in to the bedroom. These days were definitely passing with some twists, turns, and laundry escapades. Hiro shuddered at the mention of laundry, and Wufei giggled like a Drunken-Pirate-Duo-In-Drag (2), still a little off from the C-R-A-V-T-T-Y-A-T-T-T-Y-D-W-T-H hitting him with such force from his stupid insistence of Hiro's drug addiction.  
  
"YAY! VIBRATER!" Wufei giggled and kicked his feet in response to Hiro's shudder. Hiro rolled his eyes. He kicked open the door and threw Wufei onto the bed. Immediately, Wufei tried to crawl back off. Hiro frowned and shoved him gently back onto the bed. It would do neither of them any good if Wufei went out in public like that.  
  
"NO! Bad Hi-chan! Bad!" Wufei smacked Hiro, a little hard for just playing around, and giggled insanely. Hiro nearly decked Wufei from instinct, but managed to hold onto his hand by...well...grabbing his own wrist. He then took a deep breath and tried to turn off his mental switch that had turned onto "KILL" mode. Suddenly, Wufei launched himself forward onto the unsuspecting Hiro (I mean, dude, who would expect Wufei to be so WEIRD???). Hiro fell back a bit, and Wufei slid down to Hiro's waist, and Hiro pushed Wufei off him and back onto the bed.  
  
"And STAY there!" Hiro said, with a miniscule amount of emotion in his voice, which is a lot for Hiro Yui, you know? Wufei grinned manically, reminding Hiro strongly of his best friend...Duo. Wufei rolled to the other side of the bed and came inches away from rolling onto to the floor, which could have inflicted more damage on Wufei, and therefore make him even WEIRDER. However, Hiro had seen what Wufei was planning on doing and had scampered (hehehe...can't you just see an older Hiro Yui *scampering*) to the other side of the bed and caught Wufei before Wufei spilled off the edge.  
  
"Heeheehee!!" Wufei said, as Hiro's hand accidentally touched Wufei's unmentionable as he tried to get the resistant Wufei back onto the bed. Even Hiro had the grace to blush...okay, his cheeks turned a very mild one shade pink that you would only be able to see under a microscope, but to him, that's blushing.  
  
"Wufei, please, stay on the bed." At Hiro's weary request, Wufei grew very serious, which relieved Hiro greatly. He wasn't having as much fun as Wufei was obviously having. Wufei reached up unnaturally quickly and grabbed Hiro's open collar and yanked him about a foot forward. Hiro lurched (go figure) forward and only managed to not put his face into...ahem, Wufei's unmentionables, by thrusting his arms before him. Wufei laughed hysterically. Hiro could feel his temper rising, this was starting to drive him crazy. He climbed onto the bed, after shoving Wufei aside and sat cross-legged on the bed, and he glared intensively at Wufei. Who, being Giggling-Wufei, giggled. Hiro lost it. He launched his body forward and held Wufei in a cage with his body. His knees were on the outside of Wufei's thighs, his elbows locked, and his hands near Wufei's shoulders. He looked he was climbing on top of Wufei. However, even so, his plan worked. Wufei was immobilized.   
  
"Hehehehe..." That was all that Giggling-Wufei would say to this predicament. Then, he became almost serious, and Hiro frowned deeply. This time, Wufei caught him by total surprise. Wufei grabbed Hiro's shoulders roughly with both hands and pulled Hiro forward, onto himself. By the time that Hiro realized what had happened, he also realized that he and Wufei were kissing. His eyes widened and his pupils contracted in surprise. However, it wasn't from the shock of Wufei yanking him downward, it wasn't even Wufei kissing him, it was the feeling he was getting as his lips pressed against his.  
  
And it was just about then that Wufei finally really woke up from his delusional state.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
In another hotel room, on the same day (week 1, day 3), another couple was having similar problems with the bed...but, before we get that far, let's back it up a wee bit.  
  
At six o'clock that morning, Quatre had awakened, and immediately noticed that he was pleasantly warm. Trowa had wrapped his entire body around Quatre's, bending in ways that could only be accomplished after years of training in the circus. Quatre smiled and nuzzled his face into Trowa's chest, which happened to be facing him at the moment. Trowa smelt *really* nice, kind of like a mix of cinnamon, men-style-soap, and himself. Trowa's smell was something that reminded Quatre of this one worker that he had once seen. The man had been at a carnival, and was forging steel the old fashioned way. His muscles slid perfectly, without a hitch, as his body contorted itself over the steel, over the fire, and the fire's light hit his face at angles that made one see first the man, then the anger behind the eyes. Trowa smelt how that man had looked.  
  
Quatre was just settling down again, when suddenly, his alarm went off. It was set for 6:05am. Quatre sighed, but pulled himself away from Trowa to get ready. Or, at least, he *tried* to do so. However, Trowa had different ideas. Trowa reached over behind him, grabbed the alarm clock, and thrust it with such force into the wall, that it's fiberglass covered shattered into crooked pieces. He then pulled Quatre back and continued to sleep. After allowing himself a small laugh, Quatre became serious again. He firmly pushed Trowa away, who merely forced Quatre back. Quatre frowned and pushed Trowa backwards, only to have Trowa pull Quatre with him. Soon, it had progressed to a bizarre form of tug-of-war between them. However, whilst Quatre was focused on getting Trowa and him detached, he forgot that beds do not go on forever. Trowa neared the edge, and fell backwards onto the floor, almost pulling Quatre with him.  
  
"AH!" Trowa exclaimed as he hit the floor, and was, literally, jolted awake. He sat up and rubbed the space where his ass would have occupied if he had one, and looked up at Quatre, who was holding back his laughter so fiercely, that tears were springing up in his eyes.  
  
"Are...you okay Trowa?" Quatre managed to say, with only a small giggle. Trowa glared.  
  
"Hmmph." (Yeah, I'm FINE. Why the HELL did you shove me off the bed?) Quatre looked surprised.  
  
"Trowa! I was trying to detach myself from you! I didn't *mean* to push you off! Weren't you awake?"  
  
"..." (Obviously, no.)  
  
"I'm sorry!" Quatre said, genuinely sad. Trowa shook his head, stood up, motioned for Quatre to scoot over, and returned to his position under the covers. He hugged Quatre to his tanned, muscled, free-of-gross-hair-chest, and breathed his golden haired angel in.  
  
"You're forgiven." Trowa said into Quatre's hair, and Quatre felt moved by Trowa's actions. That is, until Trowa's hand reached down and gave *something* a squeeze. "And I know just how you can make up for your mistake..." Trowa pulled the covers over them.   
  
"TROWA! NOW?!" Quatre's voice could be heard through the covers. Only a deep laugh answered. Then a giggle from Quatre. What followed the giggle I can't say, not because I don't know, just because this is FFN and I gotta keep this PG-13 people, and the doings of our two little G-boys is no where NEAR PG-13. More like, NC-17 or so. O_o  
  
~~~~~~Two Hours later~~~~~~~~  
  
"I need to shower Trowa..." Quatre said, nuzzling Trowa's neck. Trowa groaned.  
  
"Come on...just one more time." Trowa said, almost playfully, as he leaned over to give Quatre a hickey. Quatre swatted him.  
  
"That's what you said the last 14 times!" Quatre said indignantly. Trowa looked thoughtful, then he shook his head.  
  
"13." Trowa said unsmiling. Quatre threw his hands up.  
  
"Same thing!"  
  
"..." (13 is not equal to 14. At least, that's what second grade math taught me.) Quatre glared, in a Quatre way, which is just about as scary as a three-week-old-kitten hissing. Oh, are you afraid? I am. Really. -_-  
  
"I'll see you in five minutes." Quatre climbed out of the bed, and after a brief moan, Trowa got up too.  
  
"Hey, wait for me..." Trowa said dully, catching up with Quatre in a few steps. Quatre tried his very best not to glow with happiness. It didn't do much.  
  
"...hehe..." Trowa "laughed". (Look! It's a Light-bulb-Quatre! I bet that you're actually emitting light here.) Quatre blushed and that made Trowa smile a little. (Now you're a RED light...) Quatre socked Trowa in the arm, which hurt as much as a daisy brushing against your leg from a gentle wind. That's gonna leave a bruise.  
  
~~~~~~~~1 hour later~~~~~~~  
  
"Okay! Now that the morning activities are done! Let's do something from the list!" Quatre snatched up the list eagerly, and began mentally checking things off. Trowa walked up behind Quatre and hugged him around the waist and put his head on Quatre's shoulder.  
  
(But...we already *did* stuff from the list...I think we've got #10 so checked off that Duo might send a new list of restrictions that prohibits it...) Trowa "said". Quatre turned his head so that he could see Trowa.  
  
"Did you say something Trowa?"   
  
"..." (Only something with my eyes, so it doesn't really matter.)  
  
"Well, okay then. Well, I've discovered two things. First off, Duo left this new one recently. It says that our restrictions have been eliminated, which means that we no longer *have* to stay in the same room, and our time limits are now far more flexible. AND, I decided on what I want to do for the day!" Quatre said happily.  
  
"..." (What?) Quatre pointed. Trowa's eyes widened and he let go of Quatre quickly. He stepped backwards.  
  
"Trowa?" Quatre asked, concerned, and Trowa then sprinted from the living room back to the bedroom. Quatre, shocked, ran after him. "TROWA?! What's wrong?" Quatre asked as he ran. He found Trowa huddled in a little ball on the bed.  
  
"..." Trowa shook a little. Quatre looked on with disbelief. Here was the man who could look death in the eye and then ignore death because he didn't find it important. Here was the man who could stand to be strapped to a board and have knives thrown at him and not flinch. 'And here," Quatre thought, slightly amused, 'here is the man who is obviously afraid of carnivals.' Quatre went up to the bed, and gently eased the covers off of Trowa. Trowa had managed to form such a ball shape that it even put Basketball-Quatre to shame.  
  
"Trowa? Love? Come on, it's not that bad." Quatre said, encouragingly. Trowa shook his head.  
  
"No freaking way. No way. No." Trowa was as close to hysterics as Trowa can get. Which is as close as the 99th floor of a building is to the ground.  
  
"What's wrong with the carnival, Trowa? Come on, it'll be fun!"  
  
"No. I-I-I can't."   
  
"Why not? Don't tell me that you're afraid!" Quatre laughed happily, after all, what were the chances of TROWA BARTON being SCARED of something? I'd say maybe one in a bazillion.  
  
"I'm afraid." Okay, okay, okay. Remember that whole one in bazillion chance? This is that one. O_o  
  
"Of...WHAT?!" Quatre asked incredulously.  
  
"Of........." Trowa said, and Quatre leaned forward.  
  
"What did you say? I didn't hear you."  
  
"I'm afraid of .............." Trowa mumbled.  
  
"I still can't hear you!"  
  
"CLOWNS! OKAY? I'M AFRAID OF CLOWNS!!!!" Trowa nearly shouted. Quatre was absolutely still for about three seconds, and then he cracked up.   
  
~~~~~~15 minutes later~~~~~~  
  
"Are you done laughing at me yet?" Trowa glared at Quatre, who was collecting himself off the floor.  
  
"Hold on...I gotta go change my pants." Quatre gasped out, lurching and reeling as he walked to the closet. He had peed his pants from laughing to hard.  
  
"..." (I can't believe that you laughed at me like that! I'm serious! I *know* what goes on in those clowns' heads, and it's SCARY! I'm scarred for life from clowns, because they allow people like ME to be CLOWNS!!!!!) Trowa shouted with his eyes. Quatre resisted the urge to laugh...unsuccessfully.  
  
"But, Trowa! You...you're being ridiculous! Come on...let's go. You need to get over this paranoia!" Quatre laughed happily as he walked back over to Trowa, who was sitting on the bed still. As Quatre reached for Trowa's wrists, Trowa reacted quickly. He spread himself out on the bed and gripped the mattress with his hands, and yes ladies and gentlemen, with his toes.  
  
"TROWA!" Quatre shouted out, extremely amused. He grabbed Trowa's shirt and tried to pull Trowa off the bed. His smile transformed into a frown as he realized that Trowa was really *stuck* on the bed. So, much like Hiro was challenged to keep Wufei *on* the bed, Quatre now braced himself for the task of getting Trowa Barton *off* the bed.  
  
"No." Trowa said, and he hugged the mattress even tighter. Quatre focused and decided that Trowa's feet would be weakest. He grabbed Trowa's left leg, and pulled. Amazingly, Trowa was actually *gripping* the bed with his toes. Quatre didn't have enough strength to pull his foot off instantaneously. After struggling with a Trowa-Foot, he finally got it freed, and he pulled with all his might. Trowa moved 1/16 of an inch. If even that.  
  
"Trowa! Come ON!" Quatre begged, as the second that Quatre relaxed his grip Trowa snatched his foot away and re-grabbed the mattress.  
  
"No."  
  
~~~~~20 Minutes Later~~~~~  
  
"I...am...so...TIRED!" Quatre gasped out, as he finally stopped tugging on the not weakening arm of Trowa. He took a step back to admire his progress. He didn't see much, since there wasn't any. Quatre sighed. "I'm going to go get a drink." Trowa merely nodded.  
  
Quatre went to the refrigerator and grabbed a water bottle. He took a drink and replaced it to keep it cool. As he did so, a hand clamped around his mouth. Then a voice whispered in his ear.  
  
"Hey, don't worry Q-tip! It's me, Duo!" The mysterious voice said. Quatre was released and he smiled happily when he saw that the person was, *gasp*, DUO!  
  
"HEY!" Quatre shouted while whispering. Duo opened his arms for a brief hug.  
  
"Hey buddy. I would ask, what's going on, but I already know." Before Quatre could say something, or blush, Duo continued. "AND, I have the solution to your problem..."  
  
~~~Back in the Bedroom~~~  
  
"Trowa! You either come with me to the carnival, or I won't have $*X with you for three weeks!" Trowa was up and by Quatre's side so fast, I could swear that he orbed.   
  
"What are we waiting for? Let's go. Now. Right now. Why are we still standing here? We should already be gone! Come on, chop chop!" Trowa yanked on Quatre's hand and pulled him out of the door, only stopping to shove the room key in his pocket and grab the keys to his rental car. Quatre laughed hysterically, as did Duo, after they had left the room.  
  
'And Yuu says these guys are boring!'  
  
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Well folks! There's chapter seven. ^_____^ I hope you were amused.  
  
(1)-This is me poking a little bit of fun at that one song that goes: "Do your ears hang low, do they wobble to and fro? Can you tie them in a knot? Can you tie them in a bow? Can you *throw them over your shoulder like a Continental soldier*? Do your ears hang low?"  
  
(2)-I once had Milly over at my house and I was playing around in paint with this one Gundam Wing pilot picture (okay, this is amusing because I originally forgot to put "picture" at the end so it read that I played around in some paint with a Gundam Pilot. ^_^). I was trying to make her see how incredibly nice looking Wufei is (she now recognizes this fact, like all sane people do) by making her two current Gundam loves (Duo and Quatre) REALLY ugly. Eventually, it ended up making Duo look like a drunk-pirate-drag-queen. Yeah. Good times, good times. ^______^ 


	8. Lover Spats Dangerous Things On Tuesdays

Notes: Please, for your own sake, don't eat or drink while reading these, unless you have no sense of humor or great control over your mouth. I have seen enough food/drink-encrusted screens for one lifetime thank you.  
  
Disclaimer: Chibi own GW=NONONONO Chibi own fanfic=YESYESYES Chibi own Yuu-utsu=YESYESYES  
  
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Wufei opened his eyes to find Hiro's lapis lazuli eyes staring back at him. He felt a warm pressure on his mouth that was sending strange tingling shocks through his body, focusing in his unmentionable regions. However, his mind quickly cleared when he realized that the warm pressure was none other than Hiro's mouth! Moving as fast as an uncoiling snake Wufei thrust his body upwards to disengage Hiro's body from his and then did a roundhouse kick from his reclining position on the bed. No small feat mind you, but it wasn't very impressive, although it did send Hiro flying towards the wall. Something within Wufei's heart gave a lurch when he saw Hiro's body about to slam into the wall, and he reached out his hand without his knowledge and grabbed onto a wrist before his mind consciously acknowledged his decision to help Hiro.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"So...you're trying to tell me that *I* kissed *you*, even though you were on top of me?" Wufei growled out, clenching his fists and frowning so hard that there was this little squishy bit of skin in between his eyebrows that feels like Jell-O when you poke it.  
  
"Yes. You were acting strange, like I have already told you, and so in order to prevent any further damage to you I restrained you using my body. However, you were not in your proper mind and decided that it would be hilarious if you kissed me. Or whatever was going through your deranged mind at the time. This is the last time I'm explaining it." Hiro said emotionlessly.  
  
"So...you're trying to tell me that *I* kissed *you*, even though you were on top of me?" Wufei growled out, with that bit of squishiness still appearing. Hiro rolled his eyes. They were getting nowhere. Fast.  
  
"Okay, look. Think of it this way Wufei, we've one less thing to worry about on the list." Hiro said, getting up from the couch and walking past Wufei. Wufei growled and stuck out his leg.   
  
"Grrr..."  
  
"ACK!" Hiro said as he fell to the ground. Wufei pounced on Hiro like......a pouncing thing. Wufei snarled like a wild animal, or Duo without coffee at 2:33am in the morning, same thing.  
  
"YUI!" Wufei screamed like a battle cry. Hiro deftly blocked all the blows that Wufei was trying to deliver. Obviously, Wufei was on drugs. 'I wonder what he decided to go on...there are so many options these days.' Now...why does that remind me of someone?  
  
"Wufei...what are you doing?" Hiro asked calmly. Suddenly, the murderous light that had been shining in a very, very creepy and scary way from his black Asian eyes died out because the C-R-A-V-T-T-Y-A-T-T-T-Y-D-W-T-H finally found that damn light switch. Wufei picked himself off Hiro and after a moment hesitation, extended his hand to help up Hiro. Hiro eyed Wufei suspiciously, especially noticing that Wufei looked really, really nice today in those pants, well until he mentally blew up a piece of his mind, and then grabbed Wufei's offered hand. Wufei yanked up on Hiro's hand, but had forgotten that Hiro Yui is a very light man despite his inhuman strength. His over-enthusiastic pull up ended up flinging Hiro into Wufei and back onto the ground, only now with Hiro on top. Oh boy.  
  
"Wufei, no offense, but this isn't really working out for me. We just can't keep meeting like this." Hiro said, arching an eyebrow and smiling slightly. Wufei laughed, then started forward when it occurred to him that Hiro Yui, HIRO YUI, just told a joke. And not just any joke, a FUNNY joke. Someone, get a goddamn camera!   
  
Unfortunately, that starting forward ended up pressing his lips to Hiro's for the second time that day...  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Trowa! Get out of the car!" Quatre pleaded to the other man who was currently huddled in a little ball in the back seat. He had managed to drive to the carnival without so much as a twitch, but after he had parked, Trowa had simply snapped and ran to the back seat where he huddled into a little ball and refused to budge. Suddenly, after 20 minutes of imploring Trowa to leave the car, an idea struck him. Literally.   
  
"OW!" Quatre said in response to the ball that had hit him on the back of his head. An idea occurred to his cute, little, blond mind as he threw the ball back to the young children who were playing catch. Quickly Quatre threw off his pants and ripped off his shirt and shimmed out of his underwear and did a little dance in front of Little-Huddling-Ball-Trowa. Now, this was too much for even Trowa, and he developed a life-threatening nosebleed. However, this is Trowa, so he ignored the nosebleed and ran out of the car. After dragging Streaking-Quatre back into the car for a bit of "fun", if you know what I mean (if you don't, that's why I made this fic PG-13, for people like you), Trowa decided that he was ready to actually attempt going on to the carnival.  
  
"Now, Trowa, remember, if you get scared, just hold my hand, okay?" Quatre said reassuringly. Trowa looked at Quatre.  
  
"..." (Look, if I'm going to grab anything, it's not going to be your hand.) Trowa winked and licked his lips at Quatre in an overall seducing/sexy way, and Quatre blushed bright yellow. Okay, he blushed red like he always does, but I wanted to type something different for once...  
  
"Behave yourself Trowa!"  
  
"..." (This *is* me behaving! I could be worse you know...) Trowa leaned over quickly and nipped Quatre on the neck, running his tongue over Quatre's flesh before pulling away. (See?)  
  
"TROOOOWAAA!!!!" Quatre grabbed his neck and pulled out a copy of War and Peace and began to chase Trowa around in tiny circles. However, before they could get a proper pace going, Trowa stopped.  
  
"UN!" Quatre exclaimed as his Chibi-self bumped into Trowa's still form. After getting back up from the ground (sadly, no longer chibi-fied), Quatre walked over to Trowa.  
  
"..." (It's...one of *them*...) Trowa "said".  
  
"Trowa, it's okay. Don't worry, I'm right here and YELP!" Quatre didn't finish his sentence properly because at that moment a giant (at least seven feet tall) clown jumped out at them and Trowa had reached over and grabbed *something* of Quatre's.   
  
"..." (SO SCARED SO SCARED!! SCAREDSCAREDSCAREDSCAREDSCAREDSCAREDSCAREDSCAREDSCARESCAREDSCAREDSCARED SCAREDSCAREDSCAREDSCARED!!!!!!) Trowa "exclaimed", squeezing *something* with increased ferocity. Quatre was beginning to lose feeling in his unmentionables.  
  
"For the love...of...nightly activities...let go!!" Quatre squeaked out. Trowa turned to Quatre.  
  
"...?" (Nightly activities?)  
  
"F...F...N...censored version!" Quatre gasped out. Trowa looked thoughtful.  
  
"..." (Ooh...is that why you're --------- is always called *something*?)  
  
"YES! Now...let...go..." Quatre moaned out...Trowa had a good grip.  
  
"...!" (Oh! Sorry. Wouldn't want to damage that...) Trowa winked again. The clown was a very, very big homophobic and ran away screaming. Trowa laughed in a very Insane-Gonna-Kill-You-All-Quatre-like way. Quatre didn't even look surprised. Well, who would after getting his unmentionable squeezed in such a manner with no warning what-so-ever. Oh, come on people! The clown jumped outta nowhere! That's not a warning! Okay...maybe a little one, but Quatre couldn't have seen that one coming!  
  
"So..." (Can we go get some cotton candy? I'm kinda hungry...all that squeezing made me tired.) Quatre glared as best as he could, looking as frightening as a bunch of popcorn smothered in butter and salt next to a Hindi movie starring Hrithik Roshan, Salaam Khan, and Shahrukh Khan. [1] Oh, I'm shaking in my sandals. Look at them shake. Shake shake.  
  
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"Wufei, this was entirely your fault. Admit it." Hiro said, back on the same couch, in the same position, talking in the same way he had before.   
  
"So...you're trying to tell me that *I* kissed *you*, even though you were on top of me?" Wufei snarled at Hiro from his position on the chair opposite Hiro's. He knew that he was being ridiculous, but he refused to admit that he had kissed Hiro Yui (twice mind you), even though both were sort of accidental, without a fight.   
  
"Wufei, stop being idiotic. Look, let's just move on from here, okay? It's no big deal. Pieces of my flesh touched pieces of yours, it's no different than our hands touching, all right? Let's just leave it at that and move on with our lives." Hiro said tonelessly. He got up and crossed the room, this time avoiding anywhere that Wufei could trip him. Wufei's voice stopped him.  
  
"Yui, I mean, Hiro. Look, I'm sorry. I have no right to act like this. How about we just pretend that none of this happened, and we just go back to how we were? Well, no, wait a sec. I don't really want us to be like how we were." Wufei said, and Hiro felt his heart thump oddly as Wufei spoke that sentence.  
  
"What do you mean Wufei?"  
  
"I mean, well...can we be friends Hiro? For real? I mean, I respect you, and I think that until recently you respected me...you called me friend before, and now I'd like to...well...you know. How about Hiro? Friends?" Wufei said, walking over to Hiro and holding out his hand. Wufei was frowning in his usual manner, and he had his head cocked at a very arrogant angle, but Hiro knew from years of working with Wufei that that was just Wufei's usual composure. Hiro extended his hand and grasped Wufei's firmly.  
  
"Friends."  
  
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"So...how are Hi-chan and Wu-wu?" Duo asked Yuu over the phone.  
  
"They're...well, it's actually a long story." Yuu said, thinking over the days past activities.  
  
"Well...tell me it!" Duo exclaimed happily.  
  
"No...it's too long. Just read Chappy Eight of Yaruki." Yuu said wearily. She didn't feel like explaining it all.  
  
"Oh, is that out? 'Bout time..." Duo said thoughtfully, thinking that he'd have to go online sometime soon to read it.  
  
"Yeah. Anyways, the main thing is that...well...Hiro and Wufei are now...FRIENDS." Yuu said, putting extra stress on the word "friends".  
  
"Is that so?" Duo smirked.  
  
"Yes. I think that they might soon become more, Duo."  
  
"Yep yep."  
  
"Oh, I have to go now. Hiro and Wufei are going out to eat tonight."  
  
"Excellent..." Duo said and then put down the receiver. Everything was going as planned.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Come on Quatre! It wasn't that big of a deal!" Trowa said, jogging to catch up to his lover, who was walking at a freakishly fast pace.  
  
"It was too! I can't believe you got us thrown out of the carnival Trowa! Do you know how bad that is for my reputation?!" Quatre retorted angrily.   
  
"Well, you're the one who said it!"  
  
"You knew what I meant!"   
  
"Come on Quatre! I have a ten-words-a-day limit! This is hard for me! Just look at me, please?"  
  
"No! Trowa, a common laborer like you wouldn't understand what someone like me has to do. I have to keep up a certain appearance!" Quatre shouted.  
  
"..." Trowa's eyes darkened, and his whole appearance grew cold. He glared at Quatre, and when he spoke, his voice was harder than a concrete wall. "Then I guess you wouldn't want to be seen with a 'common laborer' anymore. Well, that's fine."  
  
"Trowa-" Quatre started, but Trowa cut him off with a gesture.  
  
"Come on, I'll drive you home." Trowa moved in front of Quatre and stalked to the rental car. He did not speak again that night.  
  
"Trowa..." Quatre whispered, but he remembered his anger and followed Trowa silently.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Yuu?"  
  
"Yeah? What is it Duo, I'm in the restaurant right now." Yuu asked hurriedly, her cell phone pressed to her ear.  
  
"Look, we may have to call this off. Quatre and Trowa just got into a huge fight. I've never seen Quatre this mad before..." Duo actually sounded scared. Apparently, really mad Quatre's are scarier than three-week-old-kittens.  
  
"Duo, don't be ridiculous. All couples have their big fights. Remember ours?"  
  
"No." Duo said after thinking briefly. Yuu rolled her eyes.  
  
"Yes, you do!"  
  
"I do?"  
  
"Yes!"  
  
"...Are you sure?"  
  
"Yes! Remember how we were at my apartment? We were talking about moving into a house, just the two of us, and we couldn't agree which colony we would go to live in?"  
  
"Ohh...yeah...you wanted to stay on Earth..."  
  
"And you wanted to move to L2. And I said..."  
  
" 'No way I'm living in that piece of shit colony, I don't want to be around all that filth.'" Duo said, remembering how much that had stung.  
  
"And then you replied, quite angrily if I remember correctly: 'Fuck you, bitch. You're the piece of shit Yuu.'" Yuu said it smiling wryly. Duo had always had a very, very short fuse.  
  
"Ahh..." Duo said nervously. "I don't think that I said that...hehehe...okay, yeah...so?"   
  
"And then I said: 'Duo, calm down, you're overreacting.' And you said: 'No I'm not! Shut up! You don't know anything about me bitch! Get out!' And I said: 'Duo, this is my apartment...' And you looked all flustered and said: 'Well...then...I'll get out then!' And I rolled my eyes and said: 'Duo, where would you go? It's 11:30pm. You'll get hurt if you go out this late at night.' And then you said:"  
  
" 'Shut the fuck up! I'll do what I want!'" Duo said ruefully. "Yeah...I remember. You had to spend the next two hours following me around town until I finally agreed to come back with you and argue this out like two responsible adults."  
  
"Yeah. And look what happened?"  
  
"I ended up proposing not soon afterwards...I learned a lot about you that day, Yuu."  
  
"So, then, understand that Trowa and Quatre can handle this. They're big boys now."  
  
"Yeah...all right..." Duo said. Yuu was always so calm and collected. Well, almost always.  
  
"Shit."  
  
"What?"  
  
"I'll tell you later." Yuu said, and hung up.  
  
"Yuu? Yuu?!" Duo asked into the phone.  
  
Beep beep beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep..........  
  
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[1]=Hindi actors...very very very cool....  
  
Well people...you'll have to wait till chappy 9 to find out why Trowa and Quatre are arguing, and what's got our lovely Yuu saying "shit". Adios... 


	9. Quite A Few Bad Thingys Happen All At On...

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~~Flash Back to Quatre and Trowa's arrival at the carnival~~  
  
"All right...cotton candy it is!" Quatre said, laughing gleefully and grabbing Trowa's hand.  
  
"...?" (Are you okay with this Quatre? I mean, holding hands and everything. I mean we're in REAL public now...I don't want your career to be...well...hurt, if you know what I mean...well...you know how people talk.) Trowa faltered as he tried to explain what he felt...he just couldn't take it if Quatre's career as the Winner heir was damaged because he was seen with another man. The paparazzi would go crazy. As he spoke, the light dimmed as the sun went behind a cloud.  
  
Quatre stopped, and did an about face to look at Trowa. Quatre reached out and pulled Trowa's other hand to his chest; the one he had already held to his cheek.  
  
"Trowa..." Quatre said gently, "I would never be ashamed of holding your hand! Never. I'm ashamed that you would say something like that! People may cause a little stir if they see me out walking with another man, but nothing to big! Don't worry about it Trowa. I love you." Quatre smiled brightly. Just as he spoke those three words, the sun came away from its hidden veil of vapor and light poured down upon the couple like rain. The concrete they stood upon heated up once again and the bottom of their shoes began to melt as they stood there, looking into each other's eyes. Nothing like the smell of burnt rubber and sunburn to really put you in the mood! O_o  
  
"......" (Good to know...) Trowa grimaced, and stepped backwards a little. Quatre took this as a sign that Trowa obviously doesn't love him! No, he must hate him now! How stupid of Quatre to ever think that Trowa could love him! Trowa must hate him for saying that! HATE HATE HATE!!!!! Quatre dropped Trowa's hands and his eyes filled with tears. The real reason why Trowa was squinting and puckering up his face much like he had just swallowed a lemon (or some of Hiro's cooking...same expression), was that when the sun had come out, it had shown on both of them. However, Quatre's light blond hair was causing Trowa to go near blind, because it was reflecting the sun! Suddenly, Trowa had a bright...oops...hehehe, pun...an idea occurred to him. He reached behind to his Gosh-I-Really-Wish-That-I-Could-Be-An-Ass and pulled out a pair of sunglasses, dark ones mind you, and put them on. Now, with the help of the sunglasses, Quatre was bearable to look at and Trowa saw that Quatre was getting dangerously near to bursting out in tears and running like a maniac for the nearest teddy bear.   
  
"Sorry, Quatre. But, you really could have blinded me there. Maybe you should stay closer? Like...this?" Trowa said out loud (cause Quatre wasn't looking at him), and pulled Quatre to his chest. After giving Quatre a brief kiss on his forehead, Trowa intertwined their fingers and gave a small smile to Quatre. Quatre's entire expression changed and he was back to normal lickedy split. Hmm...perhaps not the best expression to use while around Trowa, but...whatever.   
  
After a full day spent with licking Cotton Candy off each other's fingers suggestively, to winning the other one identical bears and key chains, the two men decided to actually go on some real rides! Trowa suggest the Ferris wheel. Quatre looked absolutely jubilant.  
  
"Okay! Come on, it's Ferris wheel time!" Quatre once again pulled on Trowa's hand towards the entrance to the carnival. Trowa went willingly.  
  
"......" (Cool. Ferris wheel...lot's of things that you can do in Ferris wheels...heh heh heh...) Trowa "said" to the back of Quatre's head. Quatre turned around, only in time to see the laugh.  
  
"What? Why are you laughing Trowa?" Quatre asked suspiciously. Some poor, innocent bystanders raised their eyebrows at this (well, those that could), because Trowa wasn't laughing out loud. I, personally, always end up hearing all the wrong/weird things that people say and I can safely say that I would have been one of those people raising an eyebrow. I would also be very, very, very, very frightened if I had heard this. But, hey, that's *just* me.  
  
"Oh...nothing..." Trowa said carefully, not altogether pleased with all the looks both of them were getting. Well, no, that's not right. He was pissed off at how other people were looking at Quatre. Starring really. Openly. Well, hey, who wouldn't? Trowa was easily holding his own with his dark, olive skin, his shorn deep brown hair, cold and hard emerald eyes, and his earring (right ear lobe, little stud with a cross dangling from it, both the stud and cross very small). Quatre was just stunningly beautiful, with the blond hair that was dangerously reflecting the sunlight (making him look suspiciously like he was glowing), creamy white skin (also making him glow and look like a very gay angel, which was close enough to the truth anyways), and oddly creepy sapphire eyes that were dancing with absolute joy and yet a strangely perverted light (obviously, spending too much damn time with Trowa...he should come out and play with his fan girls sometime!). I would be starring too! Trowa's tanned arm reached around Quatre's waist protectively.  
  
"Umm...okay..." Quatre blushed as Trowa pulled him closer and proceeded to twitch his eye at anyone who looked either disgusted or interested. After they saw the twitch, they didn't look either disgusted or interested...no, they looked very, very, very afraid for their lives as would any sane person (yes, that means this excludes Hiro Yui and Relena). One woman ran off to the bathroom from fear, liquid trickling down her right leg. Okay, it was two women and a man...well...three women and two men. I don't want to make Trowa seem THAT scary...all right! Four women and two men. Geez...  
  
"..." (Ooops...there goes another one...) Trowa nearly smiled wickedly as another woman took off, very close to hysterics, after Trowa had not only twitched his eye at her, but also Hiro Yui death glared (Trowa style) her.   
  
"Trowa! This is embarrassing!" Quatre whispered fervently to Trowa, of course, blushing like mad.  
  
"...!" (I'm not really doing it on purpose!) Trowa "said" innocently. Quatre rolled his eyes politely, obviously mildly annoyed. Pretty damn hard to do you know, rolling one's eyes politely, but then again, this *is* Quatre Raberba Winner we're talking about.  
  
"Oh please! My ass!" Quatre said, or at least, that's what he WANTED to say. However, with his lilting tone, it came out like: " Oh! Please my ass!", which sounded awfully like he just invited Trowa to do something that is so most definitely not PG-13...definitely.  
  
At first, Trowa was uncertain of what to do. But, well, this *is* Trowa we're talking about...so...well...after a brief consideration of sanity (that lasted about as long as a fishes memory) he grabbed Quatre's waist with both his hands and pulled Quatre to his chest. Then, in front of many a people, (although, as a side note, I'll have it be known that they were standing off to the side not bothering anyone) he began to savagely kiss Quatre as if they were in the privacy of their own hotel room bed. He reached down and slipped his hands into Quatre's pants...Hehehehe...um...yeah...well, to make a long story short, he just starting going at it. Right there, with his hands. Well, Quatre was so shocked at first that he was rendered immobile, but after Trowa started going at it, he recovered. Shoving himself away from Trowa, he looked at the other man with shock, horror, and disbelief.  
  
"Hey...that's Quatre Raberba Winner, isn't it?"  
  
"Yeah...Winner..."  
  
"Hey, that guy just tried to..."  
  
"I saw them holding hands earlier, do you think they're..."  
  
"And there was a rumor that Mr. Winner would be out for two weeks..."  
  
The crowd buzzed around them. Quatre looked with absolute embarrassment at one face to another. Trowa looked completely unconcerned. Which he was. He never really was one to care in these sort of situations.  
  
"Oh my God..." Quatre whispered as the buzzing increased. The park manager was coming up to them.  
  
"Are you Mr. Quatre Winner?" The man asked. Quarter only nodded in response. After a quick look at Trowa, disgust blatant on his face, he turned back to Quatre with a sad and oily smile. "I'm sorry, but I'll have to ask you to leave and not come back Mr. Winner."  
  
"I...I see. Of course. We'll be leaving now." Quatre said, his composure now flawless. He moved away with great dignity and managed to hold out to the parking lot before he exploded at Trowa.  
  
"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID THAT! I just can't! Trowa! How could you do this to me!? HOW?! Do you have any idea...!" Quatre trailed off with a moan. His company was going to kill him...  
  
"Come on Quatre! It wasn't that big of a deal!" Trowa said, jogging to catch up to his lover, who was walking at a freakishly fast pace.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~FLASH FORWARD~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Quatre walked into the hotel room, with Trowa following silently behind him. He was still fuming. While they had been driving home, his cell phone had rung like mad with calls from his business and from the paparazzi. Great. Just peachy.  
  
"I'll sleep on the couch." Quatre offered darkly, grabbing a blanket. Trowa's hand stopped him. Trowa put his hand on the blanket and pillow and shook his head, obviously saying that he would sleep on the couch. Quatre would have argued, if he didn't know that if he insisted on sleeping on the couch then Trowa would sleep on the floor. Trowa was just like that sometimes.  
  
"..." Trowa's eyes were completely sealed off.  
  
"Fine." Quatre said, storming off to the room and slamming the door. It only opened once more to throw out a pair of Duo pajamas with a yellow sticky attached at Trowa's head. Trowa caught it deftly, and then wished that he hadn't just sent his clothes down the laundry shoot, because his pajamas pants (no shirt) were covered entirely with the cutest and most chibified Quatres. Hundreds of them. Great. Just peachy.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Back To Wufei and Hiro~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Just as Hiro and Wufei sat down at their table, and finally got comfortable, Hiro got a strange feeling. It was a creepy feeling. However, he didn't have long to muse on it, because since he was thinking about the feeling, he wasn't paying attention as he adjusted his legs and ended up feeling up Wufei's leg, which sent Wufei into a panic. But, then, when they received their menus from their waiter, he got it again. A very, very creepy feeling. A feeling that something big was about to happen, but then, suddenly, his thoughts were interrupted by the waiter speaking.  
  
"Hey...um...I don't want to sound weird, but...are you, by any chance...from Gundam Wing?"  
  
"What." Wufei stated, looking daggers at the blond waiter. The waiter laughed a little nervously. Hiro looked at the menu calmly.  
  
"Well...um...you look like...Wufei Chang. Whoa! Are you okay?" The waiter said, as Wufei jumped at his name. That would be scary, if the waiter knew your name.  
  
"It is." Hiro mumbled from his menu. Wufei glared so hard the menu began to smoke. The waiter stepped back a bit and surveyed his surroundings.  
  
"Cool. I made it in." The waiter said, his nametag flashing "Travis" in the light.  
  
"What?" Hiro said, still looking at the menu. Wufei was busy looking at his spoon, glaring really, trying to see if it would also melt. Sadly, it wasn't working.  
  
"Oh, nothing. Ready to order yet?" Travis asked.   
  
"Yeah..." Hiro began, when that bad feeling came back. He was so close to figuring out what that feeling was trying to warn him of...in fact...Oh God.  
  
"HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRRRROOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!" A high-pitched voice screamed out.   
  
"No...no...it can't be..." Hiro whispered, huddling into the seat. But it was.  
  
"Hey, isn't that Ms. Peacecraft? Hiro? Isn't it? Hiro?" Wufei asked, as Hiro began sinking to the floor, chibi-fied, trying to escape. "Hiro?" Wufei asked again, this time almost worried, because he had to actually look under the table. Travis had left long ago. It was simply too weird for him...why not go and hang out with Athena instead? Much more fun...anyways, as Wufei looked under the table, a tiny hand grabbed his shirt and pulled him under the table. Wufei chibi-fied for self-preservation, because Chibi Hiro had a gun to his temple and all he had said was:  
  
"Chibi. Now." That was all it took. Now Wufei and Hiro were underneath the table, and Hiro was motioning for Wufei to come closer so Hiro could whisper something.  
  
"Listen, Wufei. We're in big trouble. You see, she's crazy. I mean, really really really crazy. I'll tell you the full extent of her craziness later, but oh my god. Please, you gotta help me out here. You see, she thinks that Duo and I are lovers and married."  
  
"WHAT?!" Wufei screamed out, and Hiro clamped his chibi hand over Wufei's not-so-chibi mouth.  
  
"Look, long story. Anyways, if she see's you here with me and she doesn't think we're serious, she'll take me back with her. Please. For the love of sanity, and your life, help me!" Hiro whispered desperately. Wufei had never seen Hiro like this. Hiro was actually in a panic. Scared. Scared shitless.  
  
'So...that's what that smell is...' Wufei thought. No Wufei, that's the rotted gum underneath the table. Be careful kids, that's not a scratch and sniff.  
  
"All right...what do I have to-" That was as far as Wufei got, because Relena suddenly lifted up the tablecloth.  
  
"I FOOOOOUUUUUUUNNNNNNDDDD YOUUUUUUUU!!!!!" Relena's deranged voice shouted out. Her hair had been died white, and her eyes had taken on a distinctly crazed look. Hiro nearly wet himself.  
  
"Uh...yeah..." Hiro said, coming out from under the table and becoming normal again. Wufei followed suit.   
  
"So..." Wufei tried to say, but Relena cut him off.  
  
"I thought that you loved Duo that's what you told me and you got married I was there so what are you doing with Wufei does that mean that you are single again because if you are then you know that that means that I get a chance too which I want and stuff so hey what the hell are you here for you better let me have a chance unless you guys are engaged or married or dating!" Relena said, her words and sentences running together. She made little real sense these days.  
  
"Uh...we are dating! Dating very extensively. It's a very passionate relationship. A gay relationship, but passionate." Hiro said, willing himself to sound sincere. He didn't have the same practice as before. Wufei was looking at Hiro with a strange look of contemplation. Hiro shot Wufei a pleading glance. Relena didn't even see it.  
  
"Is that so why did you leave Duo what's wrong with Duo what's wrong with me that you don't want me I saved the world remember I'm innocent and yet I long for my own destruction and yet I'm also very pure so you should want me why don't you want me why did you leave Duo?!" Hiro scanned his mind. Quickly. He looked at Wufei briefly. And an idea struck.  
  
"Well, that's simple. Wufei's hotter." Wufei's jaw dropped, but he quickly fixed it. He was getting awfully skilled these days. "I mean, seriously. Look at him. Wufei, turn around. See? I mean seriously: HOT DAMN!" Hiro said, nearly emotionlessly, but with a strange note of raw passion in his voice. Even Wufei was fooled.  
  
Relena backed away slowly.   
  
"No no no no no no no no no..." she whispered it over and over again...and she disappeared behind the bend. Hiro let out a sigh, and expected the whole restaurant to be starring...but they weren't. No one was even looking their way. Then, just as he sat down with Wufei again, that feeling came back. Oh no...  
  
"That was some pretty good-" Wufei started, but at that point Relena came sprinting back in. She grabbed Hiro by the collar and hoisted him up to her level.  
  
"Prove it." She said, her breath grazing Hiro's check.  
  
'Oh shit...not again...' Hiro and Wufei thought simultaneously.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Four Hours Later~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"For the last time Wufei! It was an ACCIDENT!" Hiro shouted. Wufei was in the bathroom, brushing his teeth furiously. His mouth had come into contact with Hiro's three times that day. Too much for one man to handle. Or was it? No. He wouldn't even THINK like that. (Huh...a bit late, but whatever...)  
  
"So...you're trying to tell me that *I* kissed *you*, even though you were on top of me?" Wufei said through his toothpaste spit.  
  
"Well...you did! Yes, I accidentally landed that way, but you're the one who leaned up!"  
  
"I had...no...choice!" Wufei said in between brushes. Hiro was being far too logicall and reasoning and...*rational*...and *mature*. Bah.  
  
"Wufei! Look, stop being like this-"  
  
"Shut up." Wufei snapped out. Hiro jumped back. Wufei was being totally illogical.  
  
"Fine. I'll leave then."  
  
"No, I just meant shut up cause I'm going to take a dump right now and I don't want to have to talk back while shitting. Too awkward." Wufei grunted out. Hiro refused the urge to giggle. It was strange, he's been letting loose a lot the past few days...he never really did that. Even with Duo, he was still pretty uptight. He knew WHY...but...still...even though he had admitted to himself, he still couldn't feel like he could fully accept it. I mean...here he was...21-years-old...and just now realizing that he...he...well. Yes. But...at the restaurant...he had decided to at least let himself in on the secret. But that didn't mean that WUFEI had to know! And yet...he strangely WANTED Wufei to know. To know that he-  
  
"Uh...shit." Wufei's voice interrupted Hiro's thoughts.  
  
"Yes Wufei, that's usually what's supposed to come out."  
  
"Pfft. No, that's not what I meant. There's no more toilet paper."  
  
"Crap."  
  
"Yes, I know Yui. It's right there in the toilet." Wufei said, using the same tone Hiro had used before.  
  
"Well, use a tissue."  
  
"There aren't any." Wufei said after a brief pause.  
  
"Hell. Improvise. Use a towel."   
  
"I am NOT using a TOWEL!" Wufei shouted back at Hiro.  
  
"Well then...I dunno. Improvise further."   
  
"There isn't anything in here!"  
  
"Then...come out here with a shit covered butt. Whatever, just get out of there. I have to take a shower."  
  
"No! I'm not doing that! That's an injustice!"  
  
"Then...I dunno...I'm not coming in there Wufei!"  
  
"Come on!"  
  
"No!"  
  
"What do you expect me to do then?!"  
  
"Uhh...use your hand!"  
  
"NO GODDAMN BLOODY FREAKIN WAY IN HELL!!!"  
  
"Well...geez..."  
  
"GET IN HERE YUI!!"  
  
"To do what? So you can use MY hand?!"   
  
"GAH!!!"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
I had to revise this chapter just a little. Cause it has Hiro still in denial, and I forgot that Hiro has a revelation at the restaurant. ^_^V 


	10. A Long Awaited Apology And Chapter

Notes: I apologize for the delay of chapter updation. This only happened because technology is NOT perfect, as much as I want it to be, and I have some good news for you! Since I'm back in school and therefore I want all the opportunities I can get to procrastinate, I will be updating at my previously usual speed! YAY! Now, I must ask you once again, to refrain from eating or drinking while reading. I have this horrible tendency to be funny...I know...I do try. U_U Well, no, I lie. I don't. :P  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
It was dusk outside. Quatre could tell because from where he sat on the floor only little bits of pink and yellow still shone through. He sighed again. Seems like that's all he had been doing for the past hour. It was hard to think of anything without sighing...because everything seemed to lead to Trowa.  
  
'Maybe I should play solitaire...game...board game...Trowa...' Quatre's mind played out the tangent for him. He sighed again. His body was still slumped up against the foot of the bed, his legs outstretched before him. He went to put his hand to his forehead...but his pinky got stuck in his nose briefly.  
  
"GAH!" Quatre shouted and yanked his pinky out. It was, of course, now covered with some slimy boogers. "Ewwww..." Quatre murmured and wiped his hand elegantly on the floor. Then, after looking down, he scooted over a few inches. After all...you never really KNOW what's in that stuff...or...well...you know. It could be alive. HEY! Don't laugh! It COULD BE. O_O  
  
This time, Quatre's hand made it all the way to his forehead unhindered. Life...just didn't seem to be going his way right now. I mean...dude...here he was...sharing a hotel room with the one person that he loved...and well. Now, somehow, they had royally fucked up. Quatre laughed weakly as he thought about how Trowa would have taken that...and then...he sighed as a Chibi-Devil-Trowa-With-A-Fork-Pick jabbed at his heart. A HEATED fork pick...  
  
"Ow! Trowa! Don't DO that..." Quatre said. Then he realized that he had said it out loud and all things considered it was very likely that Trowa had heard him. "He must think I'm nutters..." Quatre mumbled to himself and readjusted his body. He didn't want to stay here on the floor, and he didn't want to get onto the bed. He wasn't sure WHAT he wanted. He could feel his eyes beginning to water...  
  
'No! I'm NOT going to cry! This is as much his fault as it is mine...' Quatre crossed his arms...then realized the full meaning of what he had just thought. He too had been at fault. It wasn't all Trowa's fault...in fact, very little actually rested on the GORGEOUS man in the other room (*Quatre turns and glares...holds up teacup threateningly*). I mean...uh...mildly handsome in a way that I do *not* find attractive...hehehehe...(*Quatre looks suspicious, but at least puts away the teacup*)   
  
Yeah. So, anyways...phew. In the other room, there was another equally hot man...currently name Trowa. But, hey, you better be careful that you don't die around him, this guy has a BAD tendency to take the name and occupation of those who die around him...so, hey, he's Trowa Barton today and Billy Bob Whoopah tomorrow. Well...you know. Anyways, I'm SO getting off topic. But, for good reason! I write HUMOR. HUMOR. I don't like all this sad, doom, gloom stuff. These guys really did SCREW UP. And now, here I am, just your average lowly fanfic writer being forced to relate their sad faces and depressive mannerisms. Anyways. Here we go...another depressed, yet VERY attractive mind you, male:  
  
Trowa sat on the couch. His hands were neatly folded in his lap, and his legs were spread comfortably, but not overly so, on the couch. He was leaning slightly forward and his head was at a slight angle downwards and to the left. His eyes were hard, cold, and reflective like two brilliant reflective hard cold things...like...a mirror! Yeah...and these very pretty green eyes were currently staring at the wall in front of him. Well, not really CURRENTLY as much as STILL. They hadn't shifted since he had sat down on that couch an hour and 41...wait...wait...okay, now it's 42 minutes ago. Yeah, neither had any part of his body. And...considering the way things are going, I don't suspect that he IS going to move any time soon. For all I know he's been hit by some out-of-anime spell...you know, the one in Harry Potter? The Petrified bit? Yeah. He could have been hit by that...it's POSSIBLE! I don't even know if he's BREATHING! He's just...not moving...so! I say that since Quatre is just gonna be sad and Trowa is Petrified, let's go back to Hiro and Wufei! Those guys do fun things...like run into crazy Relena's!   
  
.................................  
  
Unfortunately, my fanfic won't let me get back to Hiro and Wufei until I finish a significant amount about our sad, sad couple. This is crazy...my own fanfic is monopolizing this fanfic! .......wait....ouch. That hurt my head. O_O  
  
Anyways, as we all know, our former happy, sappy little couple is neither happy nor sappy. In fact, they might be split up forever. They could quite easily never get back together and everything they ever had together shall just be a mere memory.  
  
"NO! DON'T SAY THAT!!!!" Quatre wailed out...uh...to the writer of the fanfic. (That's me.) He then coughed self-consciously and sat back again. In the other room, there were signs of life in Trowa (so, scratch that whole Petrified theory) as he raised an eyebrow ever so slightly that you wouldn't even know he had if you hadn't been watching REALLY REALLY closely (like me) because you are SO running out of material here for your fanfic.   
  
Quatre stood up rather suddenly (and vaguely startled this fanfic writer cause she had just come back from Trowa who is not moving again) and his face assumed features that spoke of determination. Or...um...since he's heading for the bathroom, it was probably something else. Ahem. Yeah. Well, I would go back to Trowa to...you know...save Quatre embarrassment, but...well...HE'S NOT DOING ANYTHING! I can GARUNTEE THAT!!! So, let's stick with Quatre who is, at least, breathing.  
  
Quatre turned on the light to the bathroom, seeing as it was now NIGHT, but...well...okay, he TRIED to turn on the light. But, it seemed as though the light bulb had finally frizzled out. Quatre sighed (Wow. What. A. Shocker. -_-) and just decided to leave the door open. There was still some minimal light left in the sky, and it wasn't as if Trowa was going to burst in.   
  
'Besides, if he does...he's not going to see anything he hasn't seen before.' Quatre thought, and instantly regretted it for it reminded him of happy days gone past. Had it only been that morning that they had so passionately ---- ---- to each other? Well, things weren't getting any better (although...they were kinda getting worse as more time passed) and Quatre went into the dark(ish) bathroom. Immediately, he slipped on a bit of water that had been splashed there that morning because he and Trowa were -------- in the shower with two or three ------------------. Hit nearly received a concussion as he crashed into the shower. Luckily, the curtain was out and he grabbed it and only gently hit the bottom of the tub. The curtain came down with the Quatre (now THERE'S a phrase you don't say everyday...).  
  
"Phew." Quatre exhaled gratefully. That could have been worse. Suddenly a cold rain of water splashed on his head. One of the curtain loops had gotten stuck on the handle for the water and the setting had still been on shower. Quatre yelped and sprang from the shower cause he's a moron and already forgot that he had slipped on the water outside the tub. So, naturally, he slipped again, only this time he slipped forward.   
  
"GACK!" Quatre exclaimed in the mere seconds he had before his head face planted in the toilet (see boys? That is what happens if you leave the seat up.). Quatre sat up gurgling and spitting. He was so glad that Trowa always flushed...that could have been worse. He now really had to use the bathroom and he tried to get up hurriedly *without* getting up hurriedly in case he slipped again. Great, standing is good. Very good. Quatre fumbled with his pants...dammit! Trowa always HAD been the one who could get his pants off quicker than he could himse-BUT! No time for thinking of *that*. Great, one button down! Now for the zipper...and just yank them down and...........  
  
....................................................................  
  
"That...just...sucked." Quatre said. He was mere seconds away from getting his pants off and now...well...let's just say that he didn't have to go anymore.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
GAH GAH GAH!!!! NO!! THAT'S SO NOT FAIR!!! I was proven WRONG! Trowa DID move the BASTARD! I mean...uh...the...nice young man. Grrr...PG-13 sucks. :-p Anyway, you might ask what he DID that's got me so worked up? GAH! -_- He got undressed and redressed in his pajamas (pants with the most adorable and chibi-fied of all chibified-Quatres) WHICH MEANS THAT HE WAS SHIRTLESS, POSSIBLY NUDE, WHILE WE WERE WATCHING A GROWN MAN CRAP HIS PANTS~!  
  
(Quatre: YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO TELL THEM!)  
  
(Me: Quatre...trust me. They already knew...)  
  
Anyhow, the once-shirtless-jerk-currently-known-as-Trowa (*sigh*) now sat lying down on the couch. Apparently, all the loud crashing noises and yelling had perked his attention. What the hell could be happening in there with Quatre, I mean, honestly, QUATRE, that could be causing such a raucous? I mean, this was *Quatre*. Quatre isn't exactly the most...well...robust individual. (*Quatre glares and holds up teapot filled with scalding hot tea*) MY GOD. Is this the day-of-controlling-your-fanfic-author?! I WANT MY CONTROL BACK!!! *cries*  
  
.....  
  
YAY!!! It's BACK!!!! ^_^V  
  
Okay! Now, let's move on. I've wasted enough of your time as it is.   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Okay. This isn't so bad...all I have to do is find some more underwear." A naked (oooooooooo....hehehehehehehehehehehe...NO! Must....keep.....PG-13....) Quatre said, disposing his clothes in the laundry chute. He had his pajamas, clean ones, but they were covered with the most sickenly CUTE Chibi Trowa's and he REALLY couldn't handle that right now...besides, he didn't have any underwear left. They got their clothes on a day-to-day basis, not complete with extra underwear. And, of course, he had only brought things to keep him occupied on the trip, not things for daily wear, because Duo had said that he would have that taken care of. So...here he was...with only a towel wrapped around his waist, in great need of underwear. Then, he remembered! There was an extra pair of underwear in the living room! Relatively CLEAN underwear! YES! Now...the only thing he had to do is get past Trowa. Okay. Here we go. He can handle this. Yes. Okay. One...two....three!   
  
Quatre walked through the doors, and saw that....well....let's go back a few minutes. Just when Quatre decided that he needed new underwear...so did another male...  
  
**A Tiny Flashback**  
  
'Hmm...I have had the same underwear on for two days now. That's kind of gross. I'll change my underwear then. Where is that extra? Isn't it around here...' Trowa thought, looking around with as minimal body movement as possible. He spotted the pair of boxers, right there, on the chair. He got up slowly, and for a second stood there...remembering how he and Quatre had joked about the boxers. Coming as close to sighing as a Trowa can get (which...really...isn't close at all...like he just breathed in and out normally...O_O)  
  
**Back to when Quatre comes out in a towel**  
  
Both Trowa and Quatre froze. Trowa had only his pajama pants on, and Quatre only a towel. For a second, their gazes grazed each other...and then Quatre dropped his gaze to the floor. He mumbled something about how he'd only be a second, and moved towards the chair. He picked up the boxers and turned to leave. Trowa reacted slowly at first, cause he hadn't fully realized what Quatre's intent had been.  
  
"...!!!!!!!!" Quatre turned around at Trowa's way of shouting a 'hey.'  
  
"Trowa?" Quatre asked timidly. Trowa's eyes flashed with anger...or...did they? It seemed as if more was behind them, but, it seemed like he was hiding them behind the anger.   
  
(That's *my* underewear.) Trowa held out his hand for it. Quatre swallowed, a little nervous, and tried to keep anger in his eyes. He didn't want to fight again with Trowa so soon. He NEEDED this underwear. Trowa already HAD underwear on! He remembered that yes, this WAS Trowa's underwear that he hadn't used...but...well...it might as WELL be Quatre's! Seeing as they were datin-oh....right...umm...well...er....the point still stands that QUATRE needed the underwear and TROWA didn't. So, Quatre said the only thing he could in such a situation:  
  
"No it's not."  
  
(Yes it is.)  
  
"No, it's NOT."  
  
(YES, it IS.)  
  
"NOIT'SNOT!"  
  
(YESITIS!!)  
  
Trowa and Quatre were now standing in almost identical ways. Both had their feet slightly apart and their hands on their hips, and both were frowning with rightful indignation. Trowa glared, although, it should be noted that his glare seemed to be lacking in potency. Quatre glared back, and it was even WORSE than usual. I swear...you'd almost think he was SMILING at Trowa.  
  
(Give me back my underwear.)  
  
"It's NOT YOURS!"  
  
(Yes it IS!!)  
  
"No it's NO!"  
  
(Yes it IS!)  
  
"Yes it IS!!!"  
  
(NO IT IS NOT!!!) Quatre smirked. Trowa frowned. (Wait....)  
  
"See? I told you. It's MY underwear."  
  
(That was SUCH a cheap shot!)  
  
"So? I have NO OTHER UNDERWEAR. I NEED this pair of underwear."  
  
(And I don't?)  
  
"NO! You said yourself that it's not your underwear!"  
  
(WHA! BUT BUT BUT!!...so?) Trowa said, and he glanced from side to side and sulked. Quatre giggled, and Trowa very nearly smiled in his own way, when suddenly the couple both realized that they weren't acting angry around each other! Dammit! Both men suddenly stood taller and narrowed their eyes at each other. His voice as cold and emotionless as possible, Quatre spoke.  
  
"Goodnight, Trowa." And he turned to leave. His heart was pounding against his chest, and he could feel tears pricking at his eyes, but there was NO WAY he was going to let Trowa think that he was weak. He didn't always have to be the one who caved! He knew how to stay angry too! His hand reached for the handle, but stopped as a voice rang out.  
  
"Wait." And the clock registered the time as 12:01. It was a new day.  
  
"Yes?" Quatre asked, his voice a little shaky. He turned around a bit to find that Trowa was directly behind him. Trowa looked as if he was close to breaking right there. His muscles were tense, and his Adam's apple moved up and down slightly as he swallowed almost convulsively.   
  
"It was my fault. I'm sorry. Please...forgive me." Trowa said, his eyes as soft as melted butter. Quatre's eyes finally did water. "You mean more to me than anything in this world Quatre. I never meant to do anything to hurt you. If I really...upset you, please just send me away. I only want you happy." Trowa kept his hands firmly by his side and his face away from Quatre's.   
  
"TROWA!" Quatre shouted and threw his arms around Trowa, and kissed him passionately. Trowa froze up at first, but then his arms too came around to encircle Quatre. "I'm sorry! It was my fault too! I love you!" Quatre sobbed out, and Trowa gave a real smile, a smile that spoke volumes. It was innocent, and pure...and yet had depths. Quatre smiled back in answer, his eyes shining with salt water and love. Then, Trowa's smile changed...it became more of a smirk. And Quatre blinked a bit...until Trowa's eyes flitted down Quatre's body, pressed to his own, and back up to Quatre's eyes, where he lifted his eyebrows once...suggestively. Frowning, Quatre looked down...his towel was on the floor...which meant...  
  
Ahem. Well. Okay. That's something you don't see everyday. I didn't think that QUATRE would be the one to jump TROWA...but...well...unexpected things happen.  
  
YAY!!! My happy, lovey-dovey, couple is back together! That wasn't a very long fight...oh well. I guess these things don't last long...ne?  
  
YAY! My fanfic says that it's okay to go back to Hiro and Wufei!!! WHOOHOO!...and...of couse, it says this when the fic is already at 7 pages. -_- Grr.  
  
Well, I'm afraid I'll just have to go to something shorter...  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Yuu!!"   
  
"WAAAH! GEEZUS KRAIGHST DUO!! Do NOT do that!" Yuu shouted back into her cell phone, which had suddenly rang at 12:07am.   
  
"Sorry...but but but!! GUESS WHAT?!" Duo asked eagerly. Yuu, still VERY sleepy, looked up and thought how she would KILL Duo right now if she didn't love him more than her own life.  
  
"You won the lottery and decided to spend all the money on a shopping spree with me?"  
  
"That was last week."  
  
"DUO!"  
  
"Okay, so it WASN'T...but...well...I DID find that five dollars!"  
  
"Duo..." Yuu growled into the phone.  
  
"OH! Right! The happy thing I wanted to tell you! THEY MADE UP!!! It was SO CUTE!! Trowa apologized and then...uhhh...well...honestly, Quatre ***** Trowa's ******* and they **************************** for a whole ************* with no less than **** **************!!!"  
  
"Duo."  
  
"Uh-huh?" Duo asked eagerly.  
  
"You are a sick, sick young man."  
  
"You know it." Yuu could practically HEAR the wink. She rolled her eyes. "Speaking of which...hehehehe...wanna come over?"  
  
"DUO!"  
  
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And there we go. The long awaited chapter of Yaruki. Sadly, not much humor in this chapter...because it's already 8 pages long. BUT! Not to worry! Our funny funny couple is coming up in the next chapter!!! And....well...it will be amusing in more than one way. YAOI TIME!!!! WHOOOOHOOOOOO!!! ^_^V 


	11. Sometimes Crisis Can Bring Out The Yaoi ...

Notes: As creepy as it sounds...yes, this *IS* indeed, chapter 11 of Yaruki. That's right people. Updation. Please, don't hesitate to through me flowers. ^_^V  
  
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****Flash Back to when Relena first came back to Hiro and said to prove it****  
  
"What?" A shocked Hiro said, and Relena's eyes glittered dangerously.  
  
"I said: PROVE IT."  
  
"Uhh..." Hiro began to flounder. How could he PROVE anything with WUFEI of all people?!? It's not like they were prepared for anything like this! His hand began to reach down instinctively for his gun.  
  
"Simple. I am in love with Hi-chan here." A strong, male voice declared, his voice low and yet surprisingly, clear, as his arm wrapped itself around Hiro's waist. Hiro tried to look as if he wasn't surprised...and Wufei kept at his act. Making his voice almost purr. "We became very close over the years of Preventer work and our feelings grew too strong to hold in. Duo was sad at first, but he found solace in Yuu-utsu's arms."   
  
"Yeah. That's how it is, Relena. Wu-baby and I are thinking of getting married...um....sometime in the future." Hiro swallowed hard as his arm came around to encircle Wufei's slim body. 'My GOD he feels go-....was I just about to think "good"....no. NO. I AM HIRO. I do not *HAVE* emotions of any sort let alone attraction towards this stunn....aaaaaaah...this OTHER MALE beside me...' Hiro's face did little to betray his inner conflict.  
  
"Oh I see if that's how it is then that's fine because if you really are gay then I don't have a chance because I'm not a guy and if that's all you want then I can't stand between it unless of course you want to break all the rules and run away with me!?" Relena asked, and Hiro began to get that scared look again. Wufei acted again out of instinct, and didn't really think as he moved in front of Hiro, shielding him from Relena with his own body.  
  
"No, I think he's just fine, Relena-san. If you will please be kind enough to leave us to our weekly romantic dinner?" Wufei asked, letting just a tiny icicle to slip into his voice.  
  
"Of course of course after all I am a grown woman and I can handle this sort of thing don't worry Hiro I won't bother you anymore I'll just leave now goodbye." Relena said and did an about-face and left their sight. The two men were left standing there in a very awkwardly intimate embrace. The rest of the people in the restaurant had politely turned their heads. Both guys let out a sigh of relief and then seemed to remember their current position. Wufei leaped away from Hiro, like a...leaping thing...O_O And Hiro was thrust into the table where water spilt all over his pants.   
  
"Great." Hiro said, as he acknowledged that his pants were soaked through. He started to relax, when that feeling came back...he started to look around to make sure Relena was gone, but suddenly, Wufei's form appeared in front of him.  
  
"What. The. HELL. Was. THAT." Wufei managed to bite out; glaring like all hell had broken loose within him.  
  
"I'm sorry Wufei. I warned you that she was crazy."  
  
"CRAZY?! CRAZY?! THAT IS *NOT* CRAZY!!! CRAZY IS TALKING TO YOURSELF!!! THAT IS BEYOND CRAZY!!!" Wufei shouted, his voice near hysterical. When he had finished, he was left breathing very heavily through his nose, obviously trying to calm down.  
  
"I'm really sorry Wufei...but...what are you so upset for? You were really great back there. Talk about quick thinking." Hiro said, his voice betraying no emotion. 'More than great...you were...'  
  
"I DO *NOT* CARE!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU MADE ME DO THAT!!! JUST TO SAVE YOUR ASS!!!" Wufei was still shouting, but amazingly, he was pitching his voice in such a way, that only really Hiro could hear him. Wufei continued on about how he wasn't gay, and how if it hadn't been for the fact that is looked like his life was in peril too he would never had done anything, how much Hiro owed him, and so on. Meanwhile...  
  
'Wow...that must be so much fun....ranting and raving. He looks...he looks...I can't...no...well. Okay...I can admit it to myself at least. He looks so wonderful. So passionate. I didn't think it possible...but I really do have feelings for Wufei...for my second friend. I can't believe this...if he ever finds out...I'll lose him. And...why is this so hard??....that tears me up...I...guess...I don't want these weeks to end. The way I felt with his arms around me...when...when we kissed...I...won't deny it to myself any longer! Oh...shit...he's stopped talking. Great. What was the last thing he said?!?! WAIT! I don't HAVE to respond! Not really! I can make a general statement and that's okay! Okay...um...how about.'  
  
"I understand how you feel Wufei. And I thank you for your sacrifice. You really saved us back there. Now. Shall we continue our meal? After all, you have established that there is nothing between us and therefore, we don't have to waste our time on talking about something that was meaningless." Hiro went to sit down, even though his pants were wet and he was shaking on the inside after his confession to his own mind. He had to do it though. If he couldn't even say it to HIMSELF...then whom could he trust?  
  
"Wait." Wufei grabbed Hiro's shoulder, and Hiro froze at the contact. Hiro straightened and stood facing Wufei, who dropped his hand from Hiro's shoulder. "I'm sorry for what I said. I understand the situation. I know it's not really your fault. It was all just an act, and so...well...what I want to say is-" But Wufei was not destined to finish that sentence, as Relena came flying across the restaurant...with a knife in her hands...and she was coming in a beeline towards Hiro.  
  
"YOU LIE!!!" Relena screamed and flung herself at Hiro. Hiro was too frozen from his fear (well earned fear too!!) of Relena, and he made no move to avoid the knife. Moving faster than even Hiro had anticipated, Wufei grabbed Hiro's waist, and twisted them both out of the way. Relena ran straight through where they had been standing and was caught just in time by one of the restaurant's bouncers. Meanwhile, Wufei had flawed his balance and Hiro's unresponsive body had provided a not-needed obstacle in his way. Down they went, with Wufei on top. The two men lay there for a second; just staring wide-eyed at each other when another peals of screams attracted their attention. Not even bothering to shift their positions a bit, the guys turned their eyes to Relena's struggling form.   
  
Screaming incomprehensibly, she fought her captors. Then, snarling like a wild animal, she bit the arm of one of the brawny men who held her back, she launched forward as the man's arm lowered slightly. Charging forward she dived for Wufei. This time, it was not Wufei who moved, it was Hiro. Grabbing fistfuls of Wufei's shirt, Hiro rolled Wufei over, vacating the spot where they had been. And Relena fell to the floor, hit her head on the bar's...well...BAR, and her head fell to boards of the ground unconscious. The restaurant became a scene of pandemonium. However, the two Asians had managed to successfully roll over far enough out of the way where they were being ran AROUND and not trampled ON.   
  
Relena was being taken away, and her mouth was moving to form the word "hiro" over and over again...and despite his fear and dislike of her, said Hiro felt pity stir inside him. She was just a girl still...crazy, yes, but...a girl nonetheless. A PERSON.   
  
"Hiro..." Wufei managed to get out...Hiro's attention was brought back to the man underneath him, their bodies pressed together on the bottom, their torsos apart. Hiro realized their compromising position, but he decided to act as if it didn't matter to him. But, his heart began to pound painfully.  
  
"Hm?"  
  
"You're getting me wet." Wufei said, referring to the fact that Hiro had gotten water spilt on him earlier. However, in the context...it sounded like he was referring to something else that I can't spell out for you because this is ONLY PG-13! :-p  
  
"Pffft." Hiro tried to hold back his laughter...after all, it was totally inappropriate for the situation. Then something occurred to him, and he sobered up. "Wufei...what you did back there...you saved my life. Thank you."  
  
"It was nothing...really." Wufei tried to say nonchalantly, but for some reason he couldn't. His voice fell to a whisper, and he noticed how close their faces were...the chaos that surrounded them seemed to dim, as the air between them hummed a cute little yaoi tune. Well, it hummed more with TENSION...but...you know. Close enough.  
  
"Why...why did you do that?" Hiro said, his voice intense, and his eyes burning with...things unsaid.  
  
"I...I...because..." Wufei faltered. His mind was saying 'just make it up! Say anything! Be arrogant!!'...but nothing was coming to mind.  
  
With almost no warning Hiro leaned down, bringing their faces closer...Wufei's mind let off a hundred alarms, but his body didn't seem to be responding to them! Before Wufei could betray himself farther, the sound of a bottle crashing to the floor broke the spell. The nearly completely shattered glass bottle was rolling right towards his head! So, naturally, Wufei launched forward and off the ground to avoid being hit...  
  
And his lips found Hiro's.  
  
****Back to Hiro and Wufei's hotel room with the toilet paper problem****  
  
"I was just kidding Wufei! Look, how about this, if you are willing to just hang out there for a while, I'll go down to the front desk and request more toilet paper. Is that all right with you?" Hiro's calm and unshakable voice came from the other side of the bathroom door. Wufei scowled.  
  
'There he goes again!! Being all...MATURE...and...solving PROBLEMS CALMLY. Grr.' Wufei sighed. 'Sometimes...I think I need to beat my head against a wall...'  
  
"Yes. Thank you, Hiro." Wufei said, sitting down and laying his head in his hands to think. He heard Hiro leave the hotel room. Suddenly, he could feel his mind going back to the day's earlier happenings...  
  
He had kissed Hiro Yui three times...in one day. And...well...if he was honest with himself, he had enjoyed them. He had liked how it had felt, being there...against Hiro's body, and their mouths joined. BUT! This is WUFEI we speak of. Who, as we all know, is *NOT* in denial. -.-  
  
'I don't have any feelings towards Hiro. I just acted automatically. Training. From back when we were Preventers on active, active duty. Now, we don't have to do such dangerous work and those instincts don't get much use...BUT! I still have them! That's why I moved to protect him. Because we're partners. ACK!!! NO!!! NOT THAT WAY~!!! I have NO FEELINGS FOR YUI!! And VICE VERSA!!  
  
'Besides, even if I *DID* have feelings, BUT I DON'T!!!, for Hiro...it wouldn't even matter, because he would NEVER feel that way about me. And I don't care about that because I DO NOT HAVE FEELINGS FOR YUI.' Wufei ranted inside his head because he is NOT in denial.  
  
'I'M NOT!!!'   
  
*rolls eyes* Sure you aren't Wufei.   
  
"I'M NOT!!" Wufei yelled outloud, standing up. The bathroom door opened.  
  
"You're not what?" Hiro asked calmly, as if he WASN'T seeing Wufei stripped down from the waist down.   
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Wufei screeched and he grabbed a nearby towel to not hide his unmentionables, but to throw at Hiro's face. It effectively covered his face and Hiro could no longer see anything beyond the towel. He had not moved however. Except now to lift up one hand.  
  
"Your toilet paper." Hiro said, and blushing furiously, Wufei snatched it from Hiro's hand. Hiro nodded once, and walked out, with the towel on his face. Even though there has rarely been a time when he had been more embarrassed, he had no wish to offend Hiro...although he didn't want to admit why.  
  
'It's not a matter of ADMIT...it's a matter of just...I don't want to offend him!! That's IT!!!' .....SUUUURE.   
  
"Hiro. Thanks." Wufei said, and Hiro turned his covered face towards Wufei.   
  
"It was-" BANG! Hiro's head collided with the door, and with only a small groan, he fell to the floor, unconscious.  
  
"YUI!"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
With a soft moan, Hiro Yui opened his eyes, as well as his lips. Someone was kissing him, desperately. Hungrily. And Hiro's nose told him...it was Wufei. Hiro's moan had caused Wufei to begin to draw back, but Hiro's arms were faster. They came up and encircled Wufei's neck, pressing his face back to Hiro's. Hiro could feel the heat radiating from Wufei's cheeks, and the stiffness of his muscles, but Wufei's mouth still moved against his. This was no accidental kiss. This one was real. An open admission of want.  
  
His head spinning from lack of oxygen, Wufei's mouth released Hiro's and he straightened. He moved off Hiro's prone form and back to the chair he had originally been sitting in. He was trying so hard to be furious with himself. Here he was...WUFEI and he...he had KISSED Hiro Yui. Not an accident. He had seen Hiro laying there, as if he was sleeping, and he hadn't resisted the urge to kiss him. He should have known that Yui would have woken up! He should have known! Now Hiro was probably going to yell at him and accuse him of being gay. How he forced the kiss on him and how he could never find Wufei attractive in any way. After all...what would a guy like Yui want with a GUY like Wufei?  
  
"Wufei?" Hiro's voice was slightly husky, and Wufei was remembered of how Hiro's arms had come to wrap themselves around his neck and how he had kissed him back.  
  
"I'm sorry, Yui. I don't know what came over me. Please forgive me. I'll leave now if you want, we can call this whole thing off, and I'll swear I'll never speak to you again-" Wufei started, carefully keeping his eyes off Hiro. A hand darting out and catching his chin, startled him. The hand raised Wufei's face to the owner of the hand. "Yui."  
  
"HIRO. Wufei...listen. I meant to tell you eventually. I...I...have...feelings for you. More than just friendship feelings. I wasn't offended by your touch, or your...kiss. I...wanted it, if anything. Maybe...maybe Duo had the right idea when he...paired us together." Hiro struggled out. It was hard for him to say that...after all, this is Hiro Yui. The guy who wasn't supposed to HAVE emotions, let alone express them. Hiro's normally steady hand began to shake. If Wufei rejected him...if Wufei said he didn't want Hiro even a little...Hiro began to pull his hand away, but Wufei caught it.  
  
"Look. I'm...well...I've been told since birth I'm not supposed to ever have any feelings for anyone besides the one that my clan chooses for me. I can't...I can't promise you that I'll ever be able to really be openly...affectionate...towards you...but...I can tell you that...I am...also attracted...to...you." Wufei took a deep breath. If it was this hard for *him* and he had the reassurance that Hiro wasn't going to push him away, he couldn't imagine the courage it must have taken Yui to say what he had. "And...well...I agree. Maybe Duo did know what he was doing...and...well...I'm willing to give it a try. If you are." Wufei looked up at Hiro's face and their eyes met. He hadn't released Hiro's hand quite yet. And Hiro turned his hand over and entwined their fingers.   
  
"I am."  
  
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BOO-friggin-YAH!!! Both my couples are FINALLY together! Now I can get a move on and have even more humourus and overall embarrassing scenes!! YAAAY!! XD  
  
Stick around! 


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